The Farm Animal thing
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Anonymous
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So my conservative friends are distressed about MD's marriage law. I got the typical "what's next, marrying farm animals?" from them. I know they were trying to be sarcastic, but I am thinking maybe this is a really great idea!
I have been trying to find a way around my locality's restrictions on having chickens. But if I actually married a chicken, wouldn't they have to let me keep it? And, maybe I could get a law to restore polygamy. Then I could have a whole FLOCK of chickens. We could call it Poul-ygamy. Get it? POUL ygamy! However we would have to think seriously about how inter-species marriage relates to reproductive law. Would we be able to eat the eggs of our chicken wife? Would there be a time limit on how long the egg could be considered edible? Could we sell the eggs? And, we'd need to discuss end-of-chicken life questions. When my chicken is ready to go, can I get a death/cooking panel to help me with that? The only "wanding" I will support for my chicken wife though, will be a rotisserie. Please help me come up with a solid farm-animal marriage platform because, we wouldn't want our opponents to think we were being silly or anything. Since I am at work I can't paste it here, but to get yourself in the mood, please google "farm animal sex". Look forward to your thoughts. |
Anonymous
| You're funny. |
Anonymous
| I am sure you will soon be able to marry a dog. |
Anonymous
And yet you will still be left looking for a mate. |
takoma
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| I understand that the marry-an-animal trope is a sarcastic way of saying that the speaker thinks same-sex marriage is unnatural. However, it is also so insulting that its intended sarcasm is swallowed by the insult. |
Anonymous
| Can animals give consent like a homosexual or heterosexual human can? |
Anonymous
Exactly. Could someone please explain to me the difference between two men marrying one another, and an adult man marrying a dog? Or a 4 year old girl, for that matter? 'Cause I just don't see it. Of course, I'm a right-wing nutwipe, so I'm pretty fucking clueless--one might say intentionally so. |
Anonymous
On the contrary. I meant it to lampoon my conservative friends who think that same sex marriage leads to marrying pets. I totally disagree. I support same sex marriage 100%. I meant to show how absurd they are being to suggest such a thing. - OP |
Anonymous
Marriage is a relationship between two consenting adults. Dogs can't give consent. Legally, four year old girls can't give consent either. But adults, male or female, can. Yeah, you are pretty f'ing clueless if you can't grasp that difference. |
Anonymous
I have yet to see a dog sign a contract. I know this is confusing because you believe your dog talks to you. |
takoma
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Sorry if I seemed to be attacking you. I didn't put in any specific quote since things had gotten ironic enough that I was not sure who was on which side. I meant my comment as a general statement directed at people like the friends you mentioned in the opening comment. |
Anonymous
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wow
time for George Orwells Animal Farm Who wants to be the pig? How will the courts handle the divorce between a cow and a horse? Does the horse get one half of the field and the cow the other? If so, would the barn go to the lawyer |
Anonymous
When cows and horses can own property, let us know. |