A 4 year old boy names my daughter Miss Muffet at preschool

[Anonymous]

A 4 year old tells my daughter Miss Muffet away. I want to bring this to the teacher. Should I talk with the child's parents? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? This is pretty normal behavior for a 4 yo. Just tell you dd to tell him to stop.

[Anonymous]

Why? If it bothers your daughter, maybe coach her in telling the other child she doesn't like the name. The teacher can help facilitate this. If it continues, then the teacher should be the one looping the other parents in. But namecalling is pretty common beginning at this age (and it may even be the other child wanting to engage yours--not necessarily always teasing!)

[Anonymous]

I think you are overreacting. Perhaps English is not your first language? This is not an obscenity. This is from a nursery rhyme:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And frightened poor Muffet away

[Anonymous]

By the way, my mother calls me Little Miss Muffet. It can be said in affection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the way, my mother calls me Little Miss Muffet. It can be said in affection.

My daughter told me that the teacher told the boy not to say that. He named her Miss Muffet last week and this week too. She goes to preschool two mornings a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the way, my mother calls me Little Miss Muffet. It can be said in affection.

My daughter told me that the teacher told the boy not to say that. He named her Miss Muffet last week and this week too. She goes to preschool two mornings a week.

Okay, so she doesn't like it. You can't intervene in every situation she finds unpleasant. What do you expect to happen? What is the outcome you foresee here?

[Anonymous]

The teacher must intervene. An effective teacher will help both children:

1. The teacher must tell the boy that he must respect other children, and not call them names they don't like. She must see to it that he follows through. In fact, this must be a cultural norm at the school: respecting other's physical and mental space. It needs to be repeated over and over again, and practiced over and over again. Because they're four.

2. The teacher must help the child articulate a response when the boy says this to her. Whatever is appropriate for that age. Like, "You know I don't like that, and you're being disrespectful." (Yes, kids can talk like this). The teacher really should have a good idea for how to help your child stick up for herself, but also to show her how to let certain things roll off her back. There is a time for both. However, she should not be expected to let all things roll off her back, and to be sure, being called something she doesn't like is one of those things she shouldn't have to put up with.

The teacher. Talk with the teacher. If she's a good one, she'll have a clear idea of what to do, so that both children learn how to be good citizens in the classroom and in the world.

It's important.

[Anonymous]

PP here.

BTW, if my child says something mean to another child (and I have heard her do so), I expect the teacher to intervene. Punishment isn't usually necessary. But a behavior/discipline system that teaches respect, self-control, and proper behavior is absolutely necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here.

BTW, if my child says something mean to another child (and I have heard her do so), I expect the teacher to intervene. Punishment isn't usually necessary. But a behavior/discipline system that teaches respect, self-control, and proper behavior is absolutely necessary.

The problem is that the teacher can't be there to police every instance of "hate speech."

[Anonymous]

So what?

[Anonymous]

"However, she should not be expected to let all things roll off her back, and to be sure, being called something she doesn't like is one of those things she shouldn't have to put up with."

I would think this is a minor thing and she should be taught to respond to the boy and hope he changes his behavior. If he doesn't she should learn to ignore him.

She will have to ignore far more irritating behavior from her fellow citizens in the world.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was not upset about what the boy said. She just told me about it. I called the teacher this evening. I told her about it because I did not want to wait until other kids will pick up the name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 4 year old tells my daughter Miss Muffet away. I want to bring this to the teacher. Should I talk with the child's parents? Thank you.

As in "Little Miss Muffet sat on a Tuffet"? Yes, you should tell the teacher and if it doesn't stop, then you should consult an attorney and sue the hell out of the 4 yr. old. Good gracious, he is 4 yrs. old and maybe he likes her and Miss Muffet is kinda cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was not upset about what the boy said. She just told me about it. I called the teacher this evening. I told her about it because I did not want to wait until other kids will pick up the name.

I am pretty sure the teacher thinks you are freaking crazy as crap and probably laughed at you when you got off the phone.