The expectations for adult women

[Anonymous]

Sadly I think many of these unattainable expectations come from other women and I wonder if we are our own worst enemies. Some men may have these expectations too, but I suspect we women are screwing ourselves over. **warning** I'm a little venty and negative today.

Be model thin and look hungry, weak and frail, but make a good living and have a high ranking position & look great in career clothes and be able to eat whatever you want.

Bring home some bacon, fry it up in a pan, take care of the kids and never ever let him forget he's a man no matter how exhausted you are (bow chicka bow bow)

Meet the demands of family, in-laws, bosses, etc without complaint and make it look easy and fun

Shuttle our kids from activity to activity to playdate with a smile on our face.

Be sweet and doormatty whenever possible and don't say words like "no" "hell no" and "ef you, no way."

If you demand "me time" and do thinks for yourself, you are selfish.

Don't ever get sick and if you do, forget taking any time to yourself to recover.

Be the scapegoat for angry in-laws, kids and so forth and accept it with a smile.

Attend to your children's every emotional and physical need and expect daddy to be their favorite.

I know, I know...I sound bitter. I am bitter today, but not bitter most days.

[Anonymous]

A-MEN Sistah.

I had one of those days too. Unfortunately there were a lot of "F-Us" at the end of my day, so I'm probably that troublesome b*tch.

Now I will shrug my shoulders and pretend that I don't care I pissed people off because that one is missing from your list... 8)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly I think many of these unattainable expectations come from other women and I wonder if we are our own worst enemies. Some men may have these expectations too, but I suspect we women are screwing ourselves over. **warning** I'm a little venty and negative today.

Be model thin and look hungry, weak and frail, but make a good living and have a high ranking position & look great in career clothes and be able to eat whatever you want.

Bring home some bacon, fry it up in a pan, take care of the kids and never ever let him forget he's a man no matter how exhausted you are (bow chicka bow bow)

Meet the demands of family, in-laws, bosses, etc without complaint and make it look easy and fun

Shuttle our kids from activity to activity to playdate with a smile on our face.

Be sweet and doormatty whenever possible and don't say words like "no" "hell no" and "ef you, no way."

If you demand "me time" and do thinks for yourself, you are selfish.

Don't ever get sick and if you do, forget taking any time to yourself to recover.

Be the scapegoat for angry in-laws, kids and so forth and accept it with a smile.

Attend to your children's every emotional and physical need and expect daddy to be their favorite.

I know, I know...I sound bitter. I am bitter today, but not bitter most days.

Do you need some help with that there drinking problem you have there?

[Anonymous]

You know, if you don't do all that shit, the consequences aren't as bad as you think they might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A-MEN Sistah.

I had one of those days too. Unfortunately there were a lot of "F-Us" at the end of my day, so I'm probably that troublesome b*tch.

Now I will shrug my shoulders and pretend that I don't care I pissed people off because that one is missing from your list... 8)

OP here-thanks! Misery loves company. I'm a member of the b*tch club too and to the other PP-I'm sober. Perhaps I need a drink!

[Anonymous]

Lower your expectations to something attainable for you.

[Anonymous]

Three cheers for the b*tch club!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, if you don't do all that shit, the consequences aren't as bad as you think they might be.

The biggest consequence is that someone may not like you. But is that so bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly I think many of these unattainable expectations come from other women and I wonder if we are our own worst enemies. Some men may have these expectations too, but I suspect we women are screwing ourselves over. **warning** I'm a little venty and negative today.

Be model thin and look hungry, weak and frail, but make a good living and have a high ranking position & look great in career clothes and be able to eat whatever you want.

Bring home some bacon, fry it up in a pan, take care of the kids and never ever let him forget he's a man no matter how exhausted you are (bow chicka bow bow)

Meet the demands of family, in-laws, bosses, etc without complaint and make it look easy and fun

Shuttle our kids from activity to activity to playdate with a smile on our face.

Be sweet and doormatty whenever possible and don't say words like "no" "hell no" and "ef you, no way."

If you demand "me time" and do thinks for yourself, you are selfish.

Don't ever get sick and if you do, forget taking any time to yourself to recover.

Be the scapegoat for angry in-laws, kids and so forth and accept it with a smile.

Attend to your children's every emotional and physical need and expect daddy to be their favorite.

I know, I know...I sound bitter. I am bitter today, but not bitter most days.

I disagree with your me time bullet. I would add you are expected to somehow do all the things you list AND have me time to do things like pilates and work out, self reflect, be well read, keep up with your girlfriends. Me time is just another thing if you don't have you should feel guilty about.

[Anonymous]

Don't forget that we're supposed to somehow keep a spotlessly clean house during the time we're not working full-time, working out to keep our figure, or taking care of our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, if you don't do all that shit, the consequences aren't as bad as you think they might be.

The biggest consequence is that someone may not like you. But is that so bad?

This. It's most important that "you" like you. Then your family. Then your boss. Your best friends will always love you. Others? The heck with them.

[Anonymous]

ITA! You basically must lower your standards. In the brilliant words of Fight Club, "you must learn to let that which does not matter, truly slide!"

When I feel like you, I watch/read Fight Club.

[Anonymous]

Don't encourage your daughters to be "people pleasers."

People pleasers--which is really what OP is describing--give other people power, but do not gain RESPECT in return. People who are firm in their own boundaries earn the respect of others, while those who are pushed around do not.

Women need to believe that having self-respect and earning the respect of others is more important than making people happy.

[Anonymous]

Since I have gone through a very painful separation from my baby daddy, I have come to the conclusion that being singe and dating when I feel like it is a much preffered way of life for me. You knock down half the items from your list just by eliminating a husband. LOL

[Anonymous]

You are a doormat. Start to stand up for yourself.