Please stop asking for “experiences” over gifts for your kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL used to buy my DDs clothes from Kohl’s dollar days. Not
Wearing that. The postage cost more.

Oh god, the relatives that stock up on Kohl's clearance clothes to give for every holiday... Please just stop.

[Anonymous]

I'm buying each and every one of your kids a ten dollar gift card to Chuck e. Cheese. You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children would love a $5 or even a $10 GC to 7-11. They could buy so many slushees. That would be an awesome present. But no, more junk from Amazon is coming that they will never look at. It doesn’t have to be an expensive experience. We never go to 7-11 and they think it’s the best place ever with that slushee machine.

So why don’t you get that for them instead of whatever you were going to get. Problem solved.

Can’t believe all the entitled asses on this thread. Wonder how they’ll feel if their well-meaning gifts to their grandkids are trashed by the parents in a few years.

Lol yep to the bolded. Let the relatives get whatever gifts you would have given, then you as the parents can try explaining that the family's next trip out for ice cream or to some bounce house is now their "Christmas gift".

My relatives buy cheap junk. I still need to get my kids a few good quality toys that won’t break after 5 seconds. A gift card to the movies or to ice cream at least will be used.

[Anonymous]

Experience gifts are great for parents but in the moment kids don't appreciate them because they can't. It's not a tangible thing to them and kids are concrete thinkers.

If you know other people will buy your kids a bunch of toys, the you as the parents buy the experience gifts.

[Anonymous]

Ny kid got a gift card for movies and never used it because it was not at a convenient location. I hate being forced to organize experiences I don’t care for. I don’t like junk either. Cash would be the best, honestly.

[Anonymous]

We got like $200 of gift cards to a store like Claire’s or Justice. Hmmm. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children would love a $5 or even a $10 GC to 7-11. They could buy so many slushees. That would be an awesome present. But no, more junk from Amazon is coming that they will never look at. It doesn’t have to be an expensive experience. We never go to 7-11 and they think it’s the best place ever with that slushee machine.

So why don’t you get that for them instead of whatever you were going to get. Problem solved.

Can’t believe all the entitled asses on this thread. Wonder how they’ll feel if their well-meaning gifts to their grandkids are trashed by the parents in a few years.

Hi Mom and MIL! You have found DCUM! I’ve delicately explained this to you many times. The kids are older and go out with their friends. The 7-11 GC or even a VISA GC would be perfect and easy for you to get. They would appreciate and use it. They are too old for the craft kits, legos, STEM kits etc. We donate them. They still appreciate the gifts you give but they are older now. Please try to get to know them. DS even has a girl friend. Stay away from buying them clothes. I can’t even keep up with the latest styles and they pick out their own. We are far away from superheroes and princesses.

Tacky to demand cash. My son likes getting clothing.

I know it’s hard to accept that they aren’t little anymore, MIL. You don’t have to give them cash but you asked for gifts they actually want. We understand you think boys look adorable in button downed plaid shirts, a sweater and khakis but DS isn’t wearing them. He says thanks and they stay in the closet. You tell him the girls would be impressed if he wears this to school but it’s not really in style. Again, it’s a nice thought and we appreciate your effort but you asked for what they want and it really is gift cards to go out with their friends. You can continue to pick out presents but don’t be offended when they are not used or worn.

I would love that or any clothing as a gift. My child gets gifted nice clothing. I appreciate it. Every so often he needs it. And, mine are not wearing athletic clothing every day. How can your son not need khakis a few times a year?

It is appreciated and we thank them. And it goes straight to the donation pile. They wear these clothes when they have to and we would rather donate them to children who may use them more than once. They already own their khakis and dress clothes. They don’t need relatives picking out more.

If they get them as gifts, you don't need to buy them. Sounds like you are looking for an excuse. Let them wear them, even once then donate them. You sound really crappy.

And you sound like your children are really young and don’t pick out their own clothes or you are a senior buying these clothes. Why are you still debating this? Teens and tweens do not wear these clothes. You are saying it’s better to force them to wear the button down plaid shirt with the sweater once to take a photo then donate instead of donating new with tags? That’s so wasteful. Please come back when your kids are at least in middle school and see if you feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my mother or MIL who insist on littering my house with more crap so you get an ego boost on birthdays and holidays?

I am yet to see a little kid who does not like a new toy they don't know. It only can happen to a kid
who never can play with a parent but parent just throw a toy at them and want them to self entertain
at a little age. Otherwise, every toy is a learning experience and potential to imagination growth.
If you will get down to the kid's level and explore the toy together, play and use it in imaginative
way, you are taking an opportunity to bond with the child, to expand their imagination and
create beyond obvious.

The parents who are dismissive about the toys are either childhood depraved themselves, were
not allowed or frown upon when they were playing with toys or are never engaging in the actual
play with kids so they don't appreciate the possibilities that the toys - which actually are
tools of childhood.

If a little child is boarded with a new toy that means also something. It means that either you
never show a child how to explore and dream or a child has developmental issues, most likely
taking after a parent who also had them because they never learned to explore their toys.

The thing about experiences is - they are also important, very important. But they
are far in-between comparing to toys that are right there within child's reach.
Asking people to found your experiences is kind of out of line because you should be
founding them accordingly. People need easy tasks because they are busy and
need not someone complicating their lives over their laziness.

If you frawn upon child's play and toys then you are missing a lot of wisdom.
It is like you are throwing out a dinner and you just want kid to eat cake
all the time. Experiences are very highly demanding on the senses,
need lots of processing and, too much too often also is just overdoing it.
Kid will grow tired, board and burn down, next time you will say "let's go to.."
he will be turned off and all tired.. yep. There is your experience overload to you.

Playing with toys is not stupid thing, playing is smart thing to do,
and here is your proof:

I absolutely agree.

And the person who can’t make space in their home or under their bed for some stacking toys or a puzzle for their child should be ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m fine for people to give gift cards (or toys or experiences or nothing). But my kid doesn’t spend gift cards. He has amazon gift cards from his birthday over a year ago (he’s 10). He doesn’t ask for much and doesn’t like to spend “his” money on anything, so he just saves them.

As a kid, my grandparents gave us money every year. While there were toys I would have enjoyed, I hated spending money. So I deposited the check into my savings account every single year.

My mom put all money away.

My son does not care about gift cards and rather get a gift. We have several unused.

We are the same way. My kids are 8, 10, & 11. Unless the gift card is to somewhere within walking distance, it’s likely not getting used. And even then, it feels more like an errand.

[Anonymous]

Don't ask for gift ideas if you don't want this suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my mother or MIL who insist on littering my house with more crap so you get an ego boost on birthdays and holidays?

I am yet to see a little kid who does not like a new toy they don't know. It only can happen to a kid
who never can play with a parent but parent just throw a toy at them and want them to self entertain
at a little age. Otherwise, every toy is a learning experience and potential to imagination growth.
If you will get down to the kid's level and explore the toy together, play and use it in imaginative
way, you are taking an opportunity to bond with the child, to expand their imagination and
create beyond obvious.

The parents who are dismissive about the toys are either childhood depraved themselves, were
not allowed or frown upon when they were playing with toys or are never engaging in the actual
play with kids so they don't appreciate the possibilities that the toys - which actually are
tools of childhood.

If a little child is boarded with a new toy that means also something. It means that either you
never show a child how to explore and dream or a child has developmental issues, most likely
taking after a parent who also had them because they never learned to explore their toys.

The thing about experiences is - they are also important, very important. But they
are far in-between comparing to toys that are right there within child's reach.
Asking people to found your experiences is kind of out of line because you should be
founding them accordingly. People need easy tasks because they are busy and
need not someone complicating their lives over their laziness.

If you frawn upon child's play and toys then you are missing a lot of wisdom.
It is like you are throwing out a dinner and you just want kid to eat cake
all the time. Experiences are very highly demanding on the senses,
need lots of processing and, too much too often also is just overdoing it.
Kid will grow tired, board and burn down, next time you will say "let's go to.."
he will be turned off and all tired.. yep. There is your experience overload to you.

Playing with toys is not stupid thing, playing is smart thing to do,
and here is your proof:

I absolutely agree.

And the person who can’t make space in their home or under their bed for some stacking toys or a puzzle for their child should be ashamed.

Omg it’s not like people asking for experiences don’t have toys in their home. The point is they have WAY TOO MANY toys already. Closets and bins full that barely get played with because we keep getting gifted more than our kids can possibly ever play with. I also have relatives who gift wildly age inappropriate things that I’m then supposed to hoard for years to come until they can use (hello Kindle Fire for 3 month old and STEM kit for my 2 y/o, I’m looking at you).

At some point it is just wasteful and honestly, having a cluttered home has been linked to psychological stress.

I think most people asking for experiences aren’t talking about the one off toy from Aunt Edna living on a fixed income who buys one or two gifts a year. It is the parents/in-laws who completely disrespect the wishes of the parents that is the issue. Gift giving is selfish when it’s more about making the giver feel good than about what the child/family actually has room and a need/desire for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children would love a $5 or even a $10 GC to 7-11. They could buy so many slushees. That would be an awesome present. But no, more junk from Amazon is coming that they will never look at. It doesn’t have to be an expensive experience. We never go to 7-11 and they think it’s the best place ever with that slushee machine.

So why don’t you get that for them instead of whatever you were going to get. Problem solved.

Can’t believe all the entitled asses on this thread. Wonder how they’ll feel if their well-meaning gifts to their grandkids are trashed by the parents in a few years.

Lol yep to the bolded. Let the relatives get whatever gifts you would have given, then you as the parents can try explaining that the family's next trip out for ice cream or to some bounce house is now their "Christmas gift".

My relatives buy cheap junk. I still need to get my kids a few good quality toys that won’t break after 5 seconds. A gift card to the movies or to ice cream at least will be used.

They are gifts. Buy you kids gifts and ice cream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my mother or MIL who insist on littering my house with more crap so you get an ego boost on birthdays and holidays?

I am yet to see a little kid who does not like a new toy they don't know. It only can happen to a kid
who never can play with a parent but parent just throw a toy at them and want them to self entertain
at a little age. Otherwise, every toy is a learning experience and potential to imagination growth.
If you will get down to the kid's level and explore the toy together, play and use it in imaginative
way, you are taking an opportunity to bond with the child, to expand their imagination and
create beyond obvious.

The parents who are dismissive about the toys are either childhood depraved themselves, were
not allowed or frown upon when they were playing with toys or are never engaging in the actual
play with kids so they don't appreciate the possibilities that the toys - which actually are
tools of childhood.

If a little child is boarded with a new toy that means also something. It means that either you
never show a child how to explore and dream or a child has developmental issues, most likely
taking after a parent who also had them because they never learned to explore their toys.

The thing about experiences is - they are also important, very important. But they
are far in-between comparing to toys that are right there within child's reach.
Asking people to found your experiences is kind of out of line because you should be
founding them accordingly. People need easy tasks because they are busy and
need not someone complicating their lives over their laziness.

If you frawn upon child's play and toys then you are missing a lot of wisdom.
It is like you are throwing out a dinner and you just want kid to eat cake
all the time. Experiences are very highly demanding on the senses,
need lots of processing and, too much too often also is just overdoing it.
Kid will grow tired, board and burn down, next time you will say "let's go to.."
he will be turned off and all tired.. yep. There is your experience overload to you.

Playing with toys is not stupid thing, playing is smart thing to do,
and here is your proof:

I absolutely agree.

And the person who can’t make space in their home or under their bed for some stacking toys or a puzzle for their child should be ashamed.

Omg it’s not like people asking for experiences don’t have toys in their home. The point is they have WAY TOO MANY toys already. Closets and bins full that barely get played with because we keep getting gifted more than our kids can possibly ever play with. I also have relatives who gift wildly age inappropriate things that I’m then supposed to hoard for years to come until they can use (hello Kindle Fire for 3 month old and STEM kit for my 2 y/o, I’m looking at you).

At some point it is just wasteful and honestly, having a cluttered home has been linked to psychological stress.

I think most people asking for experiences aren’t talking about the one off toy from Aunt Edna living on a fixed income who buys one or two gifts a year. It is the parents/in-laws who completely disrespect the wishes of the parents that is the issue. Gift giving is selfish when it’s more about making the giver feel good than about what the child/family actually has room and a need/desire for.

Put that stuff away. If you have too much stuff get rid of some and you buy less. You have too much stuff as you are buying too much. We will gladly take gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my mother or MIL who insist on littering my house with more crap so you get an ego boost on birthdays and holidays?

I am yet to see a little kid who does not like a new toy they don't know. It only can happen to a kid
who never can play with a parent but parent just throw a toy at them and want them to self entertain
at a little age. Otherwise, every toy is a learning experience and potential to imagination growth.
If you will get down to the kid's level and explore the toy together, play and use it in imaginative
way, you are taking an opportunity to bond with the child, to expand their imagination and
create beyond obvious.

The parents who are dismissive about the toys are either childhood depraved themselves, were
not allowed or frown upon when they were playing with toys or are never engaging in the actual
play with kids so they don't appreciate the possibilities that the toys - which actually are
tools of childhood.

If a little child is boarded with a new toy that means also something. It means that either you
never show a child how to explore and dream or a child has developmental issues, most likely
taking after a parent who also had them because they never learned to explore their toys.

The thing about experiences is - they are also important, very important. But they
are far in-between comparing to toys that are right there within child's reach.
Asking people to found your experiences is kind of out of line because you should be
founding them accordingly. People need easy tasks because they are busy and
need not someone complicating their lives over their laziness.

If you frawn upon child's play and toys then you are missing a lot of wisdom.
It is like you are throwing out a dinner and you just want kid to eat cake
all the time. Experiences are very highly demanding on the senses,
need lots of processing and, too much too often also is just overdoing it.
Kid will grow tired, board and burn down, next time you will say "let's go to.."
he will be turned off and all tired.. yep. There is your experience overload to you.

Playing with toys is not stupid thing, playing is smart thing to do,
and here is your proof:

I absolutely agree.

And the person who can’t make space in their home or under their bed for some stacking toys or a puzzle for their child should be ashamed.

You purge. You realize some of us live in 900-1200 square foot homes. But, we make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL used to buy my DDs clothes from Kohl’s dollar days. Not
Wearing that. The postage cost more.

Oh god, the relatives that stock up on Kohl's clearance clothes to give for every holiday... Please just stop.

I love and appreciate it.