sex partners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man in his thirties, would you consider entering a serious relationship with a 28-year-old woman who has had over sixty sexual partners?

Ew.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone is different but I will not put my Johnson in a place that 60 Johnsons were there before. YMMV.

Weird hangup. I shake hands with people who have shaken other hands that have, collectively, been on basically an infinity of Johnsons. But you are under no obligation to stick your body parts anywhere you don't want to.

? you equate a hand with an intimate body part? Weird.

dp

Parts is parts.

Yep. And the average human hand is much dirtier than the genitals.

No - genitalia has different flora , way more fecal and gut bacteria, leaving alone incurable STDs. You can’t get an STD from hand shake

+1 I can use hand sanitizers after I shake hands with someone or go wash my hands. I'm pretty sure most people aren't sanitizing their genital parts after it touches some random person's genitals.

I see the problem, you're envisioning some lady f**king 60 dudes and never showering in between. I agree, that would be gross.

Well, statistically speaking, the lady would have HPV never cleansing on its own from her body as it takes 6 months. She wouldn’t be taking breaks long enough between partners. Same applies to herpes: maybe she was ok doing 300 guys in the past. But now 1 in 5 is infected and condoms don’t protect from it. So if she was prostitute today, she would have both types of HSV at a min

Why do you assume that everyone who enjoys more sexual partners than you has an STD. I've never gotten an STD and I get tested every year. Again, you're just ignorant and want to assign a moral failing to someone who dares live differently than you.

I don’t assume it’s statistics. NIH research on infectious deceased transmitting which is calculated by contacts per person per calendar days. The more partners the higher the exposure. Read up official recommendations: limit number of partners if you want limit your exposures.
Why not having sex continuously with one person ?

So the question posed by OP was whether you could be with someone knowing she had 60 sexual partners in the past. So, provided that she is clear of STDs the number doesn’t matter, correct? Or is she a shit person for the mare number of partners she had regardless of STDs? Because, sure, I’m not stupid, the higher the number of partners, the higher the probability of contracting an STD. But it certainly isn’t a moral failing to sleep around.

I already dealt with men who had multiple partners. Just like Wyatt women, I found they have commitment issues, don’t value sex as much as I do and have different lifestyle. It’s not a question of morality but a lifestyle and whether it’s a good fit for my lifestyle. I won’t trust such a person right away for sure, and my experience as women shows these men are momentum driven, abrupt and have low tolerance to compromise. They are rarely LTR material

What the hell are Wyatt women?

I actually think the whole premise of OPs question is idiotic. As clearly evident from the answers he got, it doesn’t matter one iota whether I would be with her (not sure, but 60 wouldn’t be the reason). It’s whether HE can be with someone who had as many partners. There is no right or wrong answer. Only preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had over 300 sex partners of both men and women from the time I started, including my college years before meeting my husband.

I loved the feeling. I was not molested or damaged in any way.

Couple questions: why did you feel you needed experience it with a new man so often ? You were not satisfied/finding what you need sexually, or the variety was getting you off?
And how did you find time to see so many guys ? Went to bars/constantly scheduled several dates online ?

I paid for my college as a highly paid courtesan. Probably four dates a week over four years of college. This doesn’t include my formative years of exploration.

I happen to enjoy the product that comes from sexual activity quite a bit.

You can either always have #14 on the lunch menu of your favorite Thai restaurant or you can sample the entire menu. Some you like, some you loathe and some are worth repeating.

My husband I love and lust and am in a different place today than I was then. The body has an amazing ability to cleanse itself.

No diseases or STDs. Not even Mono.

Does your husband know you were a sex worker?

I’d take it to the grave 🫥

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9825...t-papers-allege.html

[Anonymous]

I didn’t write that post about the coins. You’re talking to several of us. And of course I’m complex, though not diverse. I was speaking of women as a group. We don’t all think or behave the same way.

I am writing (not talking) to you. There are not "several of us." Please do not pretend otherwise. Or respond with something weak like "if you do not want to believe it....".

You are not complex.

You are bat$h!t crazy.

Finally, you were not speaking of women as a group. You may have been writing about women as a group to bolster whatever point you think you are making. However, like your previous posts, your last post is poorly written (not spoken as you are not talking to anyone on this board) and makes no sense.

For example, please provide proof that someone posted that any group (women or men) all thought or behaved in the same way.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man in his thirties, would you consider entering a serious relationship with a 28-year-old woman who has had over sixty sexual partners?

Absolutely not, unless you're cool with her dumping you in a couple months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

What I don’t understand is what people then get from one night stands. Even for men, if it’s so mechanical: the sensation is cushioned by condom; the woman wouldn’t care to reciprocate any foreplay. Seems like he could do it just as well with his hands and watching a porn movie. Add risk of infection on top of it and the reward is just not worth the trouble getting out of bed and spending money on dinner or drinks, IMHO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned that she counted them honestly.

Right??? I have no idea what my "number" is.

Since my number is 1, I can’t imagine losing count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned that she counted them honestly.

Right??? I have no idea what my "number" is.

Since my number is 1, I can’t imagine losing count.

That’s sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more concerned that she counted them honestly.

Right??? I have no idea what my "number" is.

Since my number is 1, I can’t imagine losing count.

That’s sad.

It's no more sad than the woman who has 60 partners. Judging peoples' sex lives is shitty no matter which end of the spectrum you're judging it from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

What I don’t understand is what people then get from one night stands. Even for men, if it’s so mechanical: the sensation is cushioned by condom; the woman wouldn’t care to reciprocate any foreplay. Seems like he could do it just as well with his hands and watching a porn movie. Add risk of infection on top of it and the reward is just not worth the trouble getting out of bed and spending money on dinner or drinks, IMHO

I think a lot of men do it for the status they get among other men for adding to their count.

But even when that's not the case (or not solely the case), there is a lot of fun involved in the entire process of hooking up -- even if the sex itself is less than amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

What I don’t understand is what people then get from one night stands. Even for men, if it’s so mechanical: the sensation is cushioned by condom; the woman wouldn’t care to reciprocate any foreplay. Seems like he could do it just as well with his hands and watching a porn movie. Add risk of infection on top of it and the reward is just not worth the trouble getting out of bed and spending money on dinner or drinks, IMHO

Guy here. I haven't had THAT many partners, but I've had some great one-night stands. I love the whole experience with someone new--the meeting, flirtation, and build up, to the act itself. Have definitely had oral as part of it. Just love the excitement of that kind of intimacy with a new person who I otherwise don't know that well. Have never gotten any sort of STD either. Now I'm happily married with a great sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

What I don’t understand is what people then get from one night stands. Even for men, if it’s so mechanical: the sensation is cushioned by condom; the woman wouldn’t care to reciprocate any foreplay. Seems like he could do it just as well with his hands and watching a porn movie. Add risk of infection on top of it and the reward is just not worth the trouble getting out of bed and spending money on dinner or drinks, IMHO

Guy here. I haven't had THAT many partners, but I've had some great one-night stands. I love the whole experience with someone new--the meeting, flirtation, and build up, to the act itself. Have definitely had oral as part of it. Just love the excitement of that kind of intimacy with a new person who I otherwise don't know that well. Have never gotten any sort of STD either. Now I'm happily married with a great sex life.

Consider yourself lucky. I assume you took an STD test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

What I don’t understand is what people then get from one night stands. Even for men, if it’s so mechanical: the sensation is cushioned by condom; the woman wouldn’t care to reciprocate any foreplay. Seems like he could do it just as well with his hands and watching a porn movie. Add risk of infection on top of it and the reward is just not worth the trouble getting out of bed and spending money on dinner or drinks, IMHO

Guy here. I haven't had THAT many partners, but I've had some great one-night stands. I love the whole experience with someone new--the meeting, flirtation, and build up, to the act itself. Have definitely had oral as part of it. Just love the excitement of that kind of intimacy with a new person who I otherwise don't know that well. Have never gotten any sort of STD either. Now I'm happily married with a great sex life.

I’m a woman and feel the same about one-night stands. They are a different experience than relationship sex. Never have had an STD either (yes, confirmed by recent testing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get guys who get hung on how many men their partners have slept with previously.

I'm a guy in my 40s. If I was in the market right now, I would not care.

It could be 600, not 60, and I wouldn't care.

It depends on your goals in dating: if it's just sex (dating someone 2-3 months then moving on), it won't matter. For a life partner it matters for many people

It still wouldn't bother me (tho 600 might have been an exaggeration)

But here's why. I became active at 18, and then started dating my wife at 23. In that time, my number of partners was upwards of 30.

So it was roughly 5-6 a year, which doesn't seem crazy. Especially because there would be some months where it was 2-3 new partners. And then maybe a few months where I tried dating someone.

So its not crazy to get to a "high" number. If I hadn't met my eventual wife at 23, I probably would have been at 60-75 by my late 20s. And if I went through a similar stretch in my 30s, I could have easily been at 100, even if I had monogamous relationships mixed in

So why would I judge/care if a woman took a similar path, especially when that path could have very easily been mine

You are not monogamous yourself: slept with several partners, then dated, then slept around again. You don't see intimacy as part of a relationship. It would be a problem for me, as I do see it that way. Women are not testosterone driven, and generally receive better quality sex and satisfaction when in exclusive relationships. I just can't relax if I think my partner is sleeping with someone else in parallel, or he's bred-crumbing me with his time, doesn't attempt to reciprocate with scheduling dates etc. Even when actively dating (e.g. interviewing/going out with 3-4 men a week), I would still only meet 2-3 people whom I truly liked based on their dating style, attractiveness level, education, goals etc. It was the same dating pattern for me in my 20s and now in my 40s upon divorce. 5-6 partners a year is somewhat crazy for a woman who dates with intention.

Well, the intention is to know that my long-term partner and I will be compatible sexually. So yes, I will sleep with the men I am dating.

I also never bring up this stupid topic with anyone I'm dating. It's beyond childish to want to ask and then judge the person based on how many sexual partners they've had. Who cares!!! Also, for all of those men who think that 90% of the time the woman is telling you her actual number, BAHAHHAA. It's because of threads like this that you'll never really know.

I never had bad sex in my life sleeping with men after waiting for a month. All of my 6 partners were exceptionally caring, loving when it happened and have me O from the first night together.
There is no need to have intercourse to check sexual compatibility. I can always tell from simple kiss, touch and some minor undressing how he would do in bedroom, and was never wrong

And if that's what works for you, GREAT! I'm not telling you to do anything different. But why do you think you get to judge anyone else for engaging in sex on their timeline?

I'm not judging anyone. But if someone tells me you need to sleep with 10 people while dating to pick one for the sex to be great, this is just not true. It's what the modern dating culture of sleeping around tries to install and this is very pressing and damaging for young women, IMHO, to feel pressured to have sex early in dating process (or they would loose on "quality" men). Women who enjoy sex would orgasm with any healthy man who cares for them in bedroom. Men have many tools in their disposal to make a woman happy. I had partners who were large sized, medium and small. One had issues with ED. It still worked and led to long relationships that I can remember with gratitude.

No dear, it's not true FOR YOU. Also, no one is pressuring me to have sex. I enjoy sex!!!

I enjoy sex, too, just want it somehow with fewer number of men

OK, you do you. Leave the rest of us be.

NP, but come on, if you felt like this was normal, healthy behavior, you wouldn't be so defensive.

Huh? I'm about as defensive as you are about your "over the jeans" handjobs. I was stating my truth, not being defensive. You might not find it healthy or normal, but that's a you problem.

You can’t give a handjob over jeans. Men over 45 don’t finish from it, and even rarely finish from BJ. It’s called “caressing”.
People with random sexual experiences are also pretty bad in bedroom (my experience). Just clueless.

And they are terrible in bed for that specific reason: they don’t treat sex serous enough or worth exploration with partners they trust. Get off and go is the attitude. I call it “sexual ADHD”

You guys are truly hilarious.

You simultaneously claim that people that have multiple sexual partners are bad in bed but have also admitted to having very few sexual partners.

How do you know how bad all these other men and women are, unless you're having sex with them? Are they voluntarily confessing how bad they are?

No, they are not confessing but latest partner I had was from this cohort.
…
He told me women in one night stands also never gave him BJ and he was shocked to get it at first night. I was long married and don’t understand how oral sex can be non-reciprocal.
…

You may not understand it, but believe me, this happens.

What I don’t understand is what people then get from one night stands. Even for men, if it’s so mechanical: the sensation is cushioned by condom; the woman wouldn’t care to reciprocate any foreplay. Seems like he could do it just as well with his hands and watching a porn movie. Add risk of infection on top of it and the reward is just not worth the trouble getting out of bed and spending money on dinner or drinks, IMHO

Guy here. I haven't had THAT many partners, but I've had some great one-night stands. I love the whole experience with someone new--the meeting, flirtation, and build up, to the act itself. Have definitely had oral as part of it. Just love the excitement of that kind of intimacy with a new person who I otherwise don't know that well. Have never gotten any sort of STD either. Now I'm happily married with a great sex life.

I’m a woman and feel the same about one-night stands. They are a different experience than relationship sex. Never have had an STD either (yes, confirmed by recent testing).

Did you do a full panel? The most commonly transmitted STDs during one night stands are ureaplasma, mycoplasma that can go asymptomatic for years (just delayed urination and irritation, but very damaging for fertility). Also you can catch skin to skin deceases that condoms don't protect from