Has anyone felt disappointed by the dorm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:these rich m’fers are going to make college even more expensive for everyone.

just stop. if Larla cannot possibly live in the dorms then let her transfer or buy her a condo.

Kids who have their own bedrooms in a modest 1960's constructed townhouse or SFH on a quarter acre of land in the suburbs aren't necessarily "rich m'fers."

+1

The assumptions - so many assumptions.

What assumptions? That your child is SO FRAGILE that they can’t handle a very typical freshman dorm experience? My god. Do you even listen to yourselves? What message are you giving your kids?

OP’s kid is fine. OP is the one who is disappointed in the room.

If OP is paying $80k per year for crappy dorm rooms, I would also not be happy. Imagine paying for first class plane tickets and getting economy class legroom.

It's interesting. I am paying 80k+ for my kids' school but I don't really care how nice or not nice the living situation is. It is just not what I am paying for. I am paying for the education, experience, connections, etc. I actually care more about the food quality than the dorm quality. I think it is ok for the kids to be humbled some.

Not living in a crappy dorm room would be "part of the experience", at $80K/year.

Small dorm room is one thing. Old, no a/c, gross bathrooms, totally different. Why on earth would you think paying $80k for that experience is fine? It's amazing how some rich people have such low standards. And I grew up lower income.

I wonder if this has something to do with it. I grew up with lots of money and have lots of money and I appreciate the crappy dorm experience for me and my kids. Maybe it is like fake slumming it. It is not real life yet so who cares.

I grew up very low income. Like, living in the projects and then when we moved out of the projects, our first apartment was a one bedroom apartment for my mom, sister and me. I know crappy living conditions. Fast forward to today - living the UMC experience. My kids don't know crappy living conditions. Their crappy living conditions consist of sharing a bathroom with each other. The horrors.

If living in a crappy dorm is their way of slumming it for a few years, then good. Especially at this age, living in a "crappy" dorm is character building.

The old "misery loves company" justification. Super lame and one I will not be passing on to my kid. It's one thing to live modestly in a small dorm room with a bed/desk/closet. It's quite another -when I'm paying college tuition at high costs- to have them live in a "crappy" living condition. Not only am I not ok with what my money is purchasing, that sort of situation is not conducive to learning/studying.

Yeah, you're right - the kids at Harvard must be "miserable"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:these rich m’fers are going to make college even more expensive for everyone.

just stop. if Larla cannot possibly live in the dorms then let her transfer or buy her a condo.

Kids who have their own bedrooms in a modest 1960's constructed townhouse or SFH on a quarter acre of land in the suburbs aren't necessarily "rich m'fers."

If they are demanding that their child get a single dorm with their own bathroom, they are entitled m’fers.

I never said "with their own bathroom." Most kids don't have that at home. But you know what they do have? Their own mf'ing bedrooms.

I shared a bedroom with my sister between the ages of 5 and 10. I have shared a bedroom with my husband since I was in my late 20’s. It really isn’t the end of the world.

One of them is your blood relative, the other is someone you chose to be married to. If you can't seem the difference between those two and a stranger who you are neither related to nor have you chosen, I can't really help you.

I also (like many) shared a dorm room some 3 decades ago. That was an important and good experience for me. I am not sure why sharing a room with a stranger is such a line in the sand for you. Now dirty, moldy etc, I agree is a huge problem.

Stranger?

This is a great chance for kids to build lasting friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:these rich m’fers are going to make college even more expensive for everyone.

just stop. if Larla cannot possibly live in the dorms then let her transfer or buy her a condo.

Kids who have their own bedrooms in a modest 1960's constructed townhouse or SFH on a quarter acre of land in the suburbs aren't necessarily "rich m'fers."

If they are demanding that their child get a single dorm with their own bathroom, they are entitled m’fers.

I never said "with their own bathroom." Most kids don't have that at home. But you know what they do have? Their own mf'ing bedrooms.

so you object to something that has been part of the college experience basically forever? did your kids never share a room with siblings?

+1

If the out of U.S. experience is so great, what is stopping you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly suspect those who claim it is fine to pay $80K a year for an over-crowed dorm room with no AC are school administrators.

LOL. No. Just people who actually attended college in the US and had a great time in dorms with small rooms and communal bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 80k includes tuition, room and board and all of the college facilities available to your student - gyms, libraries, theaters, social activities etc..

Having a roommate teaches you to deal with others and work things out. Unless the conditions are unsanitary or unsafe, dorm life on a hall builds community among the first years and is probably much more valuable than being closed off in a cushy suite. I didn't like my roommates and had to actually move out after 1st semester into a different triple with a space open but still felt like i learned something from the experience

+1

Sounds like OP needs a roommate herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait to you see where they live when they get their first apartment on a starting salary.

At least they'll have their own bedroom.

Possibly..my sister worked in Manhattan out of school ...3 people in a 1 BR apt. 2 shared the BR and 1 had space behind a screen in the LR.

Perhaps she should have lived in Brooklyn, Queens, or Jerssey. Or taken a job in Des Moines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind paying for a dorm with a shared bedroom. But paying for no a/c, mold, things falling apart...that's ridiculous.

+1

Unhealthy is one thing, but small and shared is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:these rich m’fers are going to make college even more expensive for everyone.

just stop. if Larla cannot possibly live in the dorms then let her transfer or buy her a condo.

Kids who have their own bedrooms in a modest 1960's constructed townhouse or SFH on a quarter acre of land in the suburbs aren't necessarily "rich m'fers."

+1

The assumptions - so many assumptions.

What assumptions? That your child is SO FRAGILE that they can’t handle a very typical freshman dorm experience? My god. Do you even listen to yourselves? What message are you giving your kids?

OP’s kid is fine. OP is the one who is disappointed in the room.

If OP is paying $80k per year for crappy dorm rooms, I would also not be happy. Imagine paying for first class plane tickets and getting economy class legroom.

It's interesting. I am paying 80k+ for my kids' school but I don't really care how nice or not nice the living situation is. It is just not what I am paying for. I am paying for the education, experience, connections, etc. I actually care more about the food quality than the dorm quality. I think it is ok for the kids to be humbled some.

Not living in a crappy dorm room would be "part of the experience", at $80K/year.

Small dorm room is one thing. Old, no a/c, gross bathrooms, totally different. Why on earth would you think paying $80k for that experience is fine? It's amazing how some rich people have such low standards. And I grew up lower income.

I wonder if this has something to do with it. I grew up with lots of money and have lots of money and I appreciate the crappy dorm experience for me and my kids. Maybe it is like fake slumming it. It is not real life yet so who cares.

Maybe it’s like boot camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to define crappy.

old, worn down, musty, moldy, broken furniture, cracked walls

Who on earth would pay $80k for their kid to live in such a room?

IMO, small rooms is a given for most dorms. As long as it's clean and well kept, I have no problem with it. But, some of the stories I've heard... ew... especially the bathrooms.

Well, the less competitive schools usually have gorgeous dorms OP, and generous money packages - so have at it!

strange how wealthy people think paying $80K/year for moldy dorm rooms is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:these rich m’fers are going to make college even more expensive for everyone.

just stop. if Larla cannot possibly live in the dorms then let her transfer or buy her a condo.

Kids who have their own bedrooms in a modest 1960's constructed townhouse or SFH on a quarter acre of land in the suburbs aren't necessarily "rich m'fers."

+1

The assumptions - so many assumptions.

What assumptions? That your child is SO FRAGILE that they can’t handle a very typical freshman dorm experience? My god. Do you even listen to yourselves? What message are you giving your kids?

OP’s kid is fine. OP is the one who is disappointed in the room.

If OP is paying $80k per year for crappy dorm rooms, I would also not be happy. Imagine paying for first class plane tickets and getting economy class legroom.

It's interesting. I am paying 80k+ for my kids' school but I don't really care how nice or not nice the living situation is. It is just not what I am paying for. I am paying for the education, experience, connections, etc. I actually care more about the food quality than the dorm quality. I think it is ok for the kids to be humbled some.

Not living in a crappy dorm room would be "part of the experience", at $80K/year.

Small dorm room is one thing. Old, no a/c, gross bathrooms, totally different. Why on earth would you think paying $80k for that experience is fine? It's amazing how some rich people have such low standards. And I grew up lower income.

I wonder if this has something to do with it. I grew up with lots of money and have lots of money and I appreciate the crappy dorm experience for me and my kids. Maybe it is like fake slumming it. It is not real life yet so who cares.

Maybe it’s like boot camp.

bootcamp is a few months, not a few years. Also, military barracks is spotless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a foreigner who has never had to live in a dorm (students either commute from home or rent apartments), and I do not encourage my kids to apply somewhere with a high risk of getting a tiny dysfunctional space. My oldest just moved into a nice single at GW... the doubles are a bit cramped, but the dorms are overall on the nicer side - renovated, A/C, amenities, etc. I am NOT paying these American prices for my kids to get poor quality sleep for 4 years. Comfort matters. And we live in a tiny, old house! But it's still comfortable and well laid-out.

I entirely reject the notion that discomfort is "part of the college experience". Not at those prices.

NP. I think you and OP both mistake simplicity and lack of frills for "discomfort." Other than AC, which is rapidly becoming a health necessity in most of the U.S., there is no need for "amenities." A clean, well-maintained space, even a small one, is not necessarily a "tiny dysfunctional space." You're making a big and negative assumption there, based, I suspect, on horror stories on DCUM and similar sites, or from friends, rather than on first hand experience.

My DH is a foreigner like you, lived in flats and rental houses all through university and graduate school overseas, and liked the dorm life our DC because it was more collegial and less stressful than having to find off-campus housing (a real slog in the areas around many colleges here, expensive and hard to find unless you reserve at least a year early).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly suspect those who claim it is fine to pay $80K a year for an over-crowed dorm room with no AC are school administrators.

LOL. No. Just people who actually attended college in the US and had a great time in dorms with small rooms and communal bathrooms.

+1

Suck it up buttercup, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to define crappy.

old, worn down, musty, moldy, broken furniture, cracked walls

Who on earth would pay $80k for their kid to live in such a room?

IMO, small rooms is a given for most dorms. As long as it's clean and well kept, I have no problem with it. But, some of the stories I've heard... ew... especially the bathrooms.

Well, the less competitive schools usually have gorgeous dorms OP, and generous money packages - so have at it!

strange how wealthy people think paying $80K/year for moldy dorm rooms is worth it.

What’s stranger is that you are so concerned about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:these rich m’fers are going to make college even more expensive for everyone.

just stop. if Larla cannot possibly live in the dorms then let her transfer or buy her a condo.

Kids who have their own bedrooms in a modest 1960's constructed townhouse or SFH on a quarter acre of land in the suburbs aren't necessarily "rich m'fers."

+1

The assumptions - so many assumptions.

What assumptions? That your child is SO FRAGILE that they can’t handle a very typical freshman dorm experience? My god. Do you even listen to yourselves? What message are you giving your kids?

OP’s kid is fine. OP is the one who is disappointed in the room.

If OP is paying $80k per year for crappy dorm rooms, I would also not be happy. Imagine paying for first class plane tickets and getting economy class legroom.

It's interesting. I am paying 80k+ for my kids' school but I don't really care how nice or not nice the living situation is. It is just not what I am paying for. I am paying for the education, experience, connections, etc. I actually care more about the food quality than the dorm quality. I think it is ok for the kids to be humbled some.

Not living in a crappy dorm room would be "part of the experience", at $80K/year.

Small dorm room is one thing. Old, no a/c, gross bathrooms, totally different. Why on earth would you think paying $80k for that experience is fine? It's amazing how some rich people have such low standards. And I grew up lower income.

I wonder if this has something to do with it. I grew up with lots of money and have lots of money and I appreciate the crappy dorm experience for me and my kids. Maybe it is like fake slumming it. It is not real life yet so who cares.

I grew up very low income. Like, living in the projects and then when we moved out of the projects, our first apartment was a one bedroom apartment for my mom, sister and me. I know crappy living conditions. Fast forward to today - living the UMC experience. My kids don't know crappy living conditions. Their crappy living conditions consist of sharing a bathroom with each other. The horrors.

If living in a crappy dorm is their way of slumming it for a few years, then good. Especially at this age, living in a "crappy" dorm is character building.

The old "misery loves company" justification. Super lame and one I will not be passing on to my kid. It's one thing to live modestly in a small dorm room with a bed/desk/closet. It's quite another -when I'm paying college tuition at high costs- to have them live in a "crappy" living condition. Not only am I not ok with what my money is purchasing, that sort of situation is not conducive to learning/studying.

Yeah, you're right - the kids at Harvard must be "miserable"?

The kids are all fine. OP is the only one with a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to define crappy.

old, worn down, musty, moldy, broken furniture, cracked walls

Who on earth would pay $80k for their kid to live in such a room?

IMO, small rooms is a given for most dorms. As long as it's clean and well kept, I have no problem with it. But, some of the stories I've heard... ew... especially the bathrooms.

Well, the less competitive schools usually have gorgeous dorms OP, and generous money packages - so have at it!

strange how wealthy people think paying $80K/year for moldy dorm rooms is worth it.

Mold is a different problem, but most kids are fine with tight quarters.