Anyone else who will likely never be a home owner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25 years in the military and 11 moves. The only way we could be homeowners here now is if we had been long-distance landlords for at least a decade. But it’s nice to hear that you think everyone in this position is lazy, irresponsible, and immature.

Most people I work with who were in the military that long own multiple homes.

Because they were long distance landlords.

...because they made the decision to take these risks and extra burden in order to build equity and benefit from appreciation. Building wealth isn't easy.

You’re trying to be right in an argument that isn’t happening. I was referring to PP’s who said people who can’t buy need an education or to work harder. Congratulations to you though.

But you could buy. You chose not to.

Right, and I bet they won't be buying any time soon either. Ultimately it's a desire to own or not a desire to own. And there's no right answer, just personal preference.

No. Ultimately, it was the desire to not be a long distance landlord and amateur real estate investor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

A bit of an aside: I'm always confused when people seem to know the details of their friends' finances, down to credit card bills. There have been periods in our lives due to unexpected circumstances where we carried a high credit card balance, but I never would have discussed such things with my friends. Sure, I know who is renting or who isn't and can certainly guess incomes and such from their homes, but I generally think people's finances are so individual that its hard to know whats really going on.

I agree. I am 33 and I rent. I don't have any credit card debt and I get my hair done all the time and nails done. I travel a lot and people probably think I spend like crazy. I like renting where I live for now. I save a lot and invest a lot. My rent is a drop in the bucket. I will eventually buy but I just don't see the rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

A bit of an aside: I'm always confused when people seem to know the details of their friends' finances, down to credit card bills. There have been periods in our lives due to unexpected circumstances where we carried a high credit card balance, but I never would have discussed such things with my friends. Sure, I know who is renting or who isn't and can certainly guess incomes and such from their homes, but I generally think people's finances are so individual that its hard to know whats really going on.

I agree. I am 33 and I rent. I don't have any credit card debt and I get my hair done all the time and nails done. I travel a lot and people probably think I spend like crazy. I like renting where I live for now. I save a lot and invest a lot. My rent is a drop in the bucket. I will eventually buy but I just don't see the rush.

Which is fine. The argument arises when people come on a site like this and start whining about housing prices in their late 30s and 40s having opted not to buy prior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

A bit of an aside: I'm always confused when people seem to know the details of their friends' finances, down to credit card bills. There have been periods in our lives due to unexpected circumstances where we carried a high credit card balance, but I never would have discussed such things with my friends. Sure, I know who is renting or who isn't and can certainly guess incomes and such from their homes, but I generally think people's finances are so individual that its hard to know whats really going on.

I agree. I am 33 and I rent. I don't have any credit card debt and I get my hair done all the time and nails done. I travel a lot and people probably think I spend like crazy. I like renting where I live for now. I save a lot and invest a lot. My rent is a drop in the bucket. I will eventually buy but I just don't see the rush.

Which is fine. The argument arises when people come on a site like this and start whining about housing prices in their late 30s and 40s having opted not to buy prior.

Okay I get that then. Yeah if I buy in my late thirties or my early forties I will have more than enough for a down payment. I guess if you haven't saved much by 40 then there is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

A bit of an aside: I'm always confused when people seem to know the details of their friends' finances, down to credit card bills. There have been periods in our lives due to unexpected circumstances where we carried a high credit card balance, but I never would have discussed such things with my friends. Sure, I know who is renting or who isn't and can certainly guess incomes and such from their homes, but I generally think people's finances are so individual that its hard to know whats really going on.

This is exactly right. The other thing to consider is that people lie about their finances. For example, I have a friend whose HHI is probably at least $1 million (she doesn't share, but she is a law firm partner in biglaw, and husband works in tech), and she will talk about how money is tight or something trivial is so expensive, and I think it's just BS. Many people don't want to be ostentatious, so they'll act poorer than they really are. Even a statement like "I have only $100 in my checking account right now" (sometimes you see this nonsense on supposed rags to riches stories on TV) is so tricky; maybe that person is super savvy and keeps all their money in investments. One checking account balance, on its own, tells you nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

Ok ... You're only young once and you still sound envious of your friends.

And this in a nutshell describes the people on this post looking for sympathy about not being in a position to buy a house. You have reversed the tried and true formula of saving in your youth and working hard in your youth so you can enjoy your life as your age. You want everything given to you even though you have chosen not to make the sacrifices others have made, be it a commute or multiple jobs or few children. YOUTH IS WAISTED ON THE YOUNG, because it comes with niativity and sadly selfish choices that most likely will not benefit you in the long run.

I have a niece and her loser husband who lived this way, don't need to own, could care less, traveled without reservation about the future consequences. She owns a house now because her parents finally got sick of the crap and made the down payment for them, only after they whined and whined about the 3,500.00 per month rent cost killing them. I guess she wins in the end, but did she? Or was she just bailed out be an older parent (who really could not afford this generosity) who will put her retirement plans aside to compensate for their wasteful ways in their youth. I would never do this to my parents, never.

So … You’re young twice?

PP isn’t wrong. Home ownership isn’t for everyone.
You can sacrifice when your young or not but that period in your life will only happen once.
Stop projecting your niece’s perceived shortcomings onto randoms you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

Ok ... You're only young once and you still sound envious of your friends.

Correction, I was never envious of them, I actually felt sorry for them. I see that I was able to join them at clubs without going for their excesses, I did not need the nails or a new outfit every time and I got the same attention. Missed out on nothing, did everything I wanted to do and am very happy with my life choices. I'd love to share with you the disaster some of their choices have left them, but I don't want to put their lives all over an anonymous board. Suffice it say, I've never not been happy with my choices and have never looked in the mirror and muttered, "poor me." Choices, we all have the freedom to make them just as you chose to insult me with your own insecurities. Live well!

+1. I did the same and was known as “the grind.” As the starter marriages of work colleagues fell apart, I happily rented them the second bedroom in the condo I bought as a dump and renovated mostly by myself. I politely got rid of them when their prowl for husband #2 meant they could not go on expensive trips and pay rent.

I have moved on to friends like you with similar values and life is more rewarding. I now own a string of condos that I rent to the failure to thrive or those with daddy jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OK. I'll bite. I'm a gen xer in my mid-40s. What systemic barriers did you face that i didn't?

Multiple recessions

Gen Xer here who graduated college in a recession and spent years underwater on a condo during the Great Recession of 2008. I also had unpaid parental leave and had to pay 100% of my student loans even though I’ve spent my career in public service.

What recession did you graduate from college in?

Gen-X here -- graduated during early 90's. Could not get a job. PhDs were driving cabs. Look it up

yep! I graduated in 1990, had to work two retail jobs to pay the bills.

For how long? That's not really a sob story. Poor little thing had to work retail after college!

I worked three jobs, and two of them were pretty crappy bosses! I knew from growing up in a lower income environment that saving and making money was my only way out, I watched and I learned what I did not want for my own life. Meanwhile my friends had their hair styled professionally, nails (sculptured at the time) were always on point, clothing spectacular and they had credit card bills out the a... It was a matter of choices, I wanted to own my own condo more than anything. I accomplished that by my mid twenties because I worked multiple jobs even while in school. Did it suck, yes, but so did growing up poor and hungry. I have a good life now because I sacrificed while so many of my long time friends did not and they are paying that price now.

Ok ... You're only young once and you still sound envious of your friends.

And this in a nutshell describes the people on this post looking for sympathy about not being in a position to buy a house. You have reversed the tried and true formula of saving in your youth and working hard in your youth so you can enjoy your life as your age. You want everything given to you even though you have chosen not to make the sacrifices others have made, be it a commute or multiple jobs or few children. YOUTH IS WAISTED ON THE YOUNG, because it comes with niativity and sadly selfish choices that most likely will not benefit you in the long run.

I have a niece and her loser husband who lived this way, don't need to own, could care less, traveled without reservation about the future consequences. She owns a house now because her parents finally got sick of the crap and made the down payment for them, only after they whined and whined about the 3,500.00 per month rent cost killing them. I guess she wins in the end, but did she? Or was she just bailed out be an older parent (who really could not afford this generosity) who will put her retirement plans aside to compensate for their wasteful ways in their youth. I would never do this to my parents, never.

So … You’re young twice?

PP isn’t wrong. Home ownership isn’t for everyone.
You can sacrifice when your young or not but that period in your life will only happen once.
Stop projecting your niece’s perceived shortcomings onto randoms you know nothing about.

Why would you want to be young twice. Youth is wasted on the young.

[Anonymous]

I’ll buy when we can leave this area but I refuse to spend a million dollars to live in a house exactly like our grandparents blue collar homes in the steel mill neighborhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid thirties couple here with no way forward regarding buying a home. I feel sad knowing I won’t be able to have a home to call my own and decorate and build a family in.

Anyone else in this boat?

This doesn't answer your question but....

Why? What is your HHI? How much of your HHI goes to saving? Which area and price range are you looking for? Considered FHA-loan? Need a few more bits of information in order to show you the way forward....

[Anonymous]

We didn't buy our first home until we were in the mid-thirties, but took quite a few years of saving $$$ to get there. This was about 10 years ago. Since then, we've been able to buy four additional homes as investment properties. The trick? As our income grew over 10 years, we kept our spending habits more or less the same as 10 years ago, so we've had 6x growth in saving over the year. Takes strong discipline, being handy helps (fixing things in the house ourselves and doing most of car maintenance self also.....w/both cars being 15+ yrs old)

You can do it, discipline and trading off current consumption for future consumption.

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't buy our first home until we were in the mid-thirties, but took quite a few years of saving $$$ to get there. This was about 10 years ago. Since then, we've been able to buy four additional homes as investment properties. The trick? As our income grew over 10 years, we kept our spending habits more or less the same as 10 years ago, so we've had 6x growth in saving over the year. Takes strong discipline, being handy helps (fixing things in the house ourselves and doing most of car maintenance self also.....w/both cars being 15+ yrs old)

You can do it, discipline and trading off current consumption for future consumption.

Best of luck!

meant "6x growth in monthly savings"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We spent our 20s in school, with very low-paying jobs, and saved enough to pay for a downpayment on a home when I turned 30.

We lived VERY frugally to achieve this, given our low incomes. We picked up free furniture left in the trashroom by other residents, bought cheap food on sale, cooked from scratch, never ate out or went to the movies or paid for any sort of entertainment, lived in a crappy one-bedroom (with one, then two kids)...

Most people on DCUM can't even imagine living such a frugal life.

And now we're living a middle class life.

But it took 10 years of lean, lean living to get there. And even now, we budget carefully.

I can relate, as I'm an immigrant and frugal living was a normal for me and my family. Thanks to an extremely frugal mindset and hard work, I own a home that is paid off, worth $1.1 mln; and I'm 45 years old. I don't get all these people, who can't afford a home. Like what the heck were you doing all your life when you're young? You had no savings, no part time jobs? Sorry, but I don't feel sorry for all people with college debt either. You should have gone to community, then transfer to the closest in-state university. That would be much cheaper for you, while you were working of course.

+1. I went to community college and transferred to UVA where my tuition was 11,000 for two years. All in with books snd room and board my student loans were under 40k for a great education. Then I went to work, paid them off, and lived a frugal lifestyle. All my clothes are from the thrift for example, and I drive a ‘97 civic (no it’s not a beater, paint still looks crisp because I garage it). All of my extra money went into rental property. I’m not mega rich, but I own multiple homes.

+2 Or even go to state schools for 4 years. I'm so sick of the snobs on this board who brag about their exclusive schools that are crushing them in debt and never netted them a high-paying job. They made bad financial decisions and now they can't afford to buy a home, because of course any home has to be in the "right" area. I don't feel sorry for them either, and I say this as someone who owned homes in coveted areas plus a beach house. I made choices to get there.

+3 Arlington's Missing Middle Housing is designed for these people. The ringleader got a PhD in history and works for a non-profit and whines that she can only afford to buy a house in Arlington is someone builds a triplex for her on an expensive piece of land in North Arlington. I am a Gen Xer and bought my first condo at 23 with an FHA loan and $5,000 I saved after paying off $35,000 in student loans -- the rest of my engineering school education was paid through work study and scholarships. I moved up the ladder and we have a very nice home in Arlington. I resent the heck out of the people who tell me that I a a racist, privileged white person (when they are also white and more privileged than I am) who is not entitled to have a 1940s colonial in North Arlington because I got a degree in something that would allow me to live in Arlington, send my kids to decent schools, and have my DH do all the work to our home.

Too bad that you thought your youth was for living la dolce via rather than preparing yourself for the responsibilities of adulthood.

La Dolce vita… vita… not via.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll buy when we can leave this area but I refuse to spend a million dollars to live in a house exactly like our grandparents blue collar homes in the steel mill neighborhoods.

+1

I don’t get people who brag about paying for an old standard house. It makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't buy our first home until we were in the mid-thirties, but took quite a few years of saving $$$ to get there. This was about 10 years ago. Since then, we've been able to buy four additional homes as investment properties. The trick? As our income grew over 10 years, we kept our spending habits more or less the same as 10 years ago, so we've had 6x growth in saving over the year. Takes strong discipline, being handy helps (fixing things in the house ourselves and doing most of car maintenance self also.....w/both cars being 15+ yrs old)

You can do it, discipline and trading off current consumption for future consumption.

Best of luck!

This is nice to hear. We are in our mid-thirties and just bought our second home, but first in this area after moving from a MUCH lower COL area a few years ago (rented in the interim). We bought a home where we could comfortably afford the monthly and don’t feel squeezed in that respect, but saving rapidly for a downpayment while also still paying for childcare and student loans definitely set us back on retirement savings. We’re (relatively) high earners already and can realistically expect strong income growth, but have shifted into savings mode. I get nervous sometimes that we’re a little too far behind, but try to keep in perspective that we’re really pretty lucky to even be in the position we are.