Do you wear lingerie for DH?

[Anonymous]

I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

Why do you feel so negatively about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

You have zero fetishes or kinks? Why were your stupid for going along with it?

My husband has a good analogy for lingerie. Does a frame take a way from a beautiful work of art? Does it make the art it self any less impressive or beautiful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

Why do you feel so negatively about it?

Because dressing up like a dominatrix just wasn’t my thing. I’m fine with nice lingerie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

You have zero fetishes or kinks? Why were your stupid for going along with it?

My husband has a good analogy for lingerie. Does a frame take a way from a beautiful work of art? Does it make the art it self any less impressive or beautiful?

If you put an Art Deco frame on a Renaissance painting it does take away from the art. You’re better off without a frame if you get my drift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

You have zero fetishes or kinks? Why were your stupid for going along with it?

My husband has a good analogy for lingerie. Does a frame take a way from a beautiful work of art? Does it make the art it self any less impressive or beautiful?

My husband has another point of view. Lingerie hits the floor so fast anyway, what’s the point.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I wish my DH would buy me lingerie. It would e nice to know he still finds me hot after a decade of marriage and kids.

That’s so sad. Why do you think he doesn’t still find you hot? I get the “she’s a mom and not my GF” issue but not the rest.

Because I’m not 25 anymore, I guess.

Met wife at 26, she is 42 now and just as hot if not hotter.

+1
Same with my wife. Not exactly the same ages but definitely true. There is a cliche that when a man buys a woman lingerie as a gift for her birthday. etc. it is a really just gift for himself and not for her. In our relationship we acknowledge that reality, and I buy her lingerie and certain kinky stuff for MY birthday - and then we go to a hotel and enjoy it. Best birthdays ever!

See, my DH never does stuff like this, and still wants to complain that our sex life got stale.

Do you involve with enough fun stuff with him or just staying grumpy or complaining? it would never recover if you also stay like this because everyone's love language is different.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I wish my DH would buy me lingerie. It would e nice to know he still finds me hot after a decade of marriage and kids.

That’s so sad. Why do you think he doesn’t still find you hot? I get the “she’s a mom and not my GF” issue but not the rest.

Because I’m not 25 anymore, I guess.

Met wife at 26, she is 42 now and just as hot if not hotter.

That’s great for you and her. This isn’t the reality for most. When I look around the school pick up, most of the moms are soft and overweight.

middle aged man here, and that is totally false in my humble opinion. There are lots of incredibly hot Moms in their 30's and 40's at bus stops and school events. Of course there are some pigs too, but that could be said about any age group. Personally I find the hotties in their 40's (including my own wife) way more attractive than the young girls in their 20's.

Agreed. My experience that women in their 40s are also more kinky and do stuff that girls in their 20s won't

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Absolutely! GF is very interested in this and always wear a nice set of thongs, g-strings. In fact, I have never seen her wearing hipsters or other big panties.

VS is always a go to for us but Savage X fenty has been good too lately.

Love Savage X fenty. DH loves it. Their g-strings are very sexy.

+1

Love the new spicy stuff they keep on bringing and beautiful thing is that their models are real people.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm convinced by most of these comments and on other discussion threads that the majority of women on DCUM don't like their husbands or maybe just men in general. They don't want to have sex with them, don't want to ever wear lingerie. Then they come complain about their husbands possibly having affairs, and want huge alimony payouts when they divorce. It's all so...weird. Like, what's the point of even being married if you can't have fun with your spouse?

It's a relationship board, meaning people come on here usually when they are having issues. I found this board on a Google search when I was having similar problems, the first few years of my marriage work rate and I wasn't on something like this. Now I am one of those people in a growingly hostile, sexless marriage and probably will be back here talking about affairs as well.

It's self selection

This board is toxic brain poison. It's all about ending marriages. Why don't you find a source that discusses improving marriages?

Even the ones focused on improving marriages (John Gottman, Samantha Rodman), tend to lean toward saying that men need to do better. The only way you are going to find something telling women to wear more lingerie is to read Dr Laura.

Maybe if all the experts say men need to do better….then men need to do better?

But not all say that. The biggest issue is that most men have a list of about 3-4 things that they need to be happy. Womens lists have about 100 things on it and they can't understand why men won't help them complete the lists

I would say that most women have one thing on their list for their husbands:

- Have your own goals for yourself, your family, your home, and your career, tell your spouse what they are, and take some initiative in accomplishing them.

Most men do these things before they are married, then somehow give them up and hand everything over to their wives. If a man isn’t taking the lead in any other part of marital life, the idea of DW also being the person to initiate things in the bedroom by wearing sexy lingerie is not appealing.

What's wrong with you? Thinking too much? It is sex. Compartmentalize other things and just have some fun. When was the last time you really enjoyed sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

You have zero fetishes or kinks? Why were your stupid for going along with it?

My husband has a good analogy for lingerie. Does a frame take a way from a beautiful work of art? Does it make the art it self any less impressive or beautiful?

My husband has another point of view. Lingerie hits the floor so fast anyway, what’s the point.

I’m sure my husband feels the same way but seeing me very un-mom like always gets his engine running. But it doesn’t stay on very long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

You have zero fetishes or kinks? Why were your stupid for going along with it?

My husband has a good analogy for lingerie. Does a frame take a way from a beautiful work of art? Does it make the art it self any less impressive or beautiful?

My husband has another point of view. Lingerie hits the floor so fast anyway, what’s the point.

I don’t understand the idea that lingerie is just for the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

I would and I love to but I don’t often because DH does not care at all. For him it’s just naked vs stuff in the way of naked. He does not find it titillating which takes the fun out of it for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

Why do you feel so negatively about it?

Because dressing up like a dominatrix just wasn’t my thing. I’m fine with nice lingerie.

I wouldn’t lump that in with someone just wanting you to wear lingerie. I have some leather and some latex stuff. They play a role in our bedroom activities that we both enjoy but I don’t consider those sets lingerie. Sounds like you detest the person not the material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an old BF for whom kinky lingerie was a real turn on and I stupidly went with it and it’s one of my regrets. My husband has never expressed a similar interest as my being freshly showered and in a bathrobe seems to work wonders.

You have zero fetishes or kinks? Why were your stupid for going along with it?

My husband has a good analogy for lingerie. Does a frame take a way from a beautiful work of art? Does it make the art it self any less impressive or beautiful?

My husband has another point of view. Lingerie hits the floor so fast anyway, what’s the point.

I don’t understand the idea that lingerie is just for the bedroom.

I don’t understand wanting to wear underwear and bras that are very expensive, mostly uncomfortable, and under my clothes. Wearing frilly underwear doesn’t make me feel any different.