Pushing back on too much homework?

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else here concerned about the "too much homework" phenomenon? My dd just finished kindergarten at a pretty good Alexandria elementary school, where she had "homework" maybe 3 or 4 nights a week. None of it was all that onerous, in some sense: sometimes it was "draw a picture of five things in your house that begin with the letter L," and sometimes it was little worksheets (to practice counting or writing or basic story comprehension). And since she was only five-- six at the end of the year-- obviously none of this was stuff my DD could do on her own: it required a parent to spend ten or twenty minutes each night helping her with it.

The required nature of the homework really bothered me. For one thing, often the homework was pretty stupid: the instructions were sometimes so incoherent that at times I just couldn't figure out what she was supposed to do! My daughter was rarely enthusiastic about her homework-- she much preferred to play, cuddle, read books with her parents-- and getting her to focus on it often felt like a struggle. Worse, since I work, it had a real opportunity cost: coming home at six, I'd think, "okay, I have to get these children to bed by eight and I haven't seen them all day-- do I waste twenty minutes of that precious time trying to get a reluctant five year old to do a really pointless worksheet? Or do I spend the time with my children doing something w'll all enjoy-- like talking or reading together?"

My sense from what little I've read on this is that there is very little evidence that homework is educationally useful in the early elementary school years, and several times during the school year I gently tried pushing back with my daughter's teacher, asking about the rationale behind the almost daily homework, etc, and explaining that at this age, this was really homework for parents. I didn't get very far, and I was reluctant to push harder, becasue I did not want there to be any repercussions for my daugher: didn't want her teacher's to peg her as the kid whose mother was a real pain in the neck. And I also felt I couln;t just ignore the homework, however stupid, because again, she might suffer and be blamed.

Any thoughts on this conundrum? I'm bracing for first grade. Should I just resign myself to stupid homework that takes time away from activities that, at this stage, seem genuninely more valuable for my child? Or should I push back a little harder with her school? Or am I getting this all wrong?

[Anonymous]

Take a deep breath - this was a huge HUGE challenge for us. In first grade, you need to teach your kid to sit still and do SOME homework. You don't have to do it all. Don't bother with the push back on the teacher - they have to do what the district says and the better ones secretly agree with your assessment. We learned all this the hard way.

Here's what we did:
a) we ALWAYS did assignments that were used the next day in class (so we caused no trouble).

b) we NEVER let the homework slide. Thus, if we decided not to do the homework, we talked about it with our son. Sometimes, we decided not to do homework because our son was just tired, or because we wanted to go out to dinner - whatever the reason. The important part is we never "forgot" but always let our son know it was a decision.

c) we STOPPED WORKING whenever it became too much. Too much means discord and disent. You will easily know when it is too much.

d) We NEVER have him read to us when he's tired. In fact, we hardly had him read to us at all. It was a source of stress, and we figured it was better that the teachers deal with his reading reluctance. Instead, we read to him.

e) we are more cooperative about doing assignments when the teacher gives more than one day.

f) Most important: Your goal isn't to teach the kid to read - the school can do that. Your job is to work hard to teach your kid that reading is a joy and a delight and the key to a whole world. Thus, don't do the stupid reading logs (too hard for a first grader to write "Maurice Sendak"). Don't make your kid read hard things to you. Talk about fun articles in the paper. Read a chapter book to your kid. [And of course, don't worry if your kid isn't a great reader in first grade - most of the parents you meet are overstating their children's abilities anyway!]

Sorry this is so long. This topic makes me insane.

[Anonymous]

i totally sympathize. i guess your response depends on the openness of the school, principal, and teachers to other styles. you might try and research different approaches to homework and propose alternatives. schools and parents seem to have very firm ideas on homework. my son is starting pre-k at a progressive independent school in the fall that does not start homework until the 3rd grade because they believe that developmentally a child is not ready to be responsible for his or her own work prior to that. that flies in the face of many public and private schools around. but just so you know, there are widely varying approaches to homework. good luck. if you can't push back, the prior poster's tips look great.

[Anonymous]

Boy ... I think we all can identify with this post. What I find really ironic is that some schools actually require homework at the early grades as a result of parental pressure!! They want their kids to get ahead, be well prepared, be challenged, etc. and they see nightly homework as proof of academic rigor. Our school attempts to balance the desire of some parents to see homework assigned with developmental appropriateness by assigning only very small amounts of homework designed to take about 10 minutes. However, getting my child to sit down and just do it rather than procrastinate, fuss, etc. means it takes far longer and is not a happy part of our day. Sigh. My advice is hardly new, but setting a specific time each day helps by making homework just part of the routine. Also, the earlier in the afternoon the better so that the young scholar is not exhausted. Home from school, have a snack, play or watch a cartoon for about 20 minutes to unwind, then a short bit of homework, then outside to play before dinner. After school sports and activities make this tough. After about 15-20 minutes, unless child is magically engaged and interested in the work at hand, it is time to stop because nothing useful is being learned other than "I hate being forced to do homework." A few minutes spent in the morning to finish up when child is rested is better than slogging through to the bitter end. Like we need one more thing to do before rushing out the door.

[Anonymous]

8:05 again. One last thought ... it is okay to let child decide not to do homework every now and then. They will then get to experience what it is like to be the one who does not have it done and have to explain this situation to the teacher. Teachers are kind and will not come down too hard on kids about it ... they don't have to at this age, because the children generally love them. Having this experience helps the child decide for himself that he would prefer to do the assignments in order to please his teacher. Self motivation is way better than parental insistence and of course what we are all working towards as our kids grow older.

[Anonymous]

http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/rethinkinghomework.htm

[Anonymous]

I hear ya' OP... but, one thing I didn't really realize until my son was a bit older (and his excellent 3rd grade teacher explained it to me), is that some of the inane projects they do in Kindergarten (like, draw 5 things that start with L) have very little to do with actual "learning", but are really important for physical/mental development that they'll need later. For example, the true point of that assignment may only have 5% to do with learning the letter L, and 95% to do with time holding and manipulating a crayon -- which is essential for hand strength -- which takes time to build -- so that they'll be able to write letters when they get to 1st grade and beyond.

So--- I get it. And especially as a working mom, I understand how precious those 20 minutes are to your day (and your daughter's). But I would try to relax and make the best of it. Or, alternatively, you could try just skipping some of the more inane projects, and see what happens? Is she going to flunk Kindergarten for not turning in her homework? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

I think its nuts to give homework to children that young and I also think there is entirely too much homework all around. Kids also need unstructured time, they actually need it more than homework when they are young.

One of my children went to a school that didn't start homework until second grade; the other went to a school that started home work in kindergarten. I don't think my first child, with the delayed homework, was at all deprived.

[Anonymous]

Educational research says that homework is unnecessary in elementary school. In high school, BTW, research says (in a nutshell) the more homework the better, and that most U.S. high schoolers aren't doing nearly enough homework (not talking about the overstressed student at Whitman who has four-five AP classes; talking nationwide). Middle school should be a bridge where they start with some homework and then ramp up to more by high school.

That being said, I agree with PPs that arguing with the teachers is pointless, because they don't have the autonomy to stop giving homework if their district requires it.

[Anonymous]

For example, the true point of that assignment may only have 5% to do with learning the letter L, and 95% to do with time holding and manipulating a crayon -- which is essential for hand strength -- which takes time to build --

I completely get this, and don't disagree. However, this should be completed while still at school. If they're not holding crayons, scissors and so forth at school, then something at school should give way. Dinner, cuddles and imaginative play at home should not give way. Similarly, at the age of 5 or 6 or 7, time management skills can also be fostered during the school day.

At our house, we practice peaceful resistance and just don't do it.

[Anonymous]

There is a cute response on the home school/homework thread where a mother describes how she told her child's teacher that they were not going to do the homework. I guess that the public schools can't kick you out for not doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Educational research says that homework is unnecessary in elementary school. In high school, BTW, research says (in a nutshell) the more homework the better, and that most U.S. high schoolers aren't doing nearly enough homework (not talking about the overstressed student at Whitman who has four-five AP classes; talking nationwide). Middle school should be a bridge where they start with some homework and then ramp up to more by high school.

That being said, I agree with PPs that arguing with the teachers is pointless, because they don't have the autonomy to stop giving homework if their district requires it.

We've decided to send our dc to a Montessori school located in Mt. Vernon VA for preschool (age 3) through the age of 12. I was told that there was basically "no homework" through the 6th grade. Maybe some projects here and there-but not every night assignments. The belief is that they should be children after school for family time and play. After reading the posts, I'm sort of glad we won't have homework I work, but will be able to pick him at 3pm and have time to spend together.

[Anonymous]

I so agree with you, OP. We chose private school over public and homework was one of the driving factors. No homework until 1st grade. Homework only Mon - Thurs. No homework on Fridays or over vacations. Exceptions are in the upper grades honors classes. It was a compromise that we could live with.

I am so envious of those that practice peaceful resistance. The oldest child, rules follower in me would never consider that!! Does anyone's school reduce your child's grades for not completing homework assignments?

[Anonymous]

Not when they're 5 and I as the parent say, "sorry, can't."

[Anonymous]

sad thing is homework is bad for the teachers as well as the students. the teachers have to waste their time finding or creating useless worksheets. kids and parents have to waste their time doing them. teachers have to waste their time looking them over. but our educational system is so entrenched that even when research shows over & over that something is detrimental it's often next to impossible to actually get the school systems to change. and when the school systems "get it" and want to change, they often DO get push back from parents who don't believe or understand the research and WANT the old ways left in place because that is what makes sense to them/what they are comfortable with.

we also selected private school in part because of this issue. there is some homework, but it is meaningful homework. no mindless worksheets, etc. but instead some things that actually require the student to think and process. the end result isn't even necessarily anything that they have to submit. it might be something that they discuss in class the next day.

to parents who are uncomfortable with the idea of no homework, the best "homework" kids can do is to be read to each night (before they can read) and to read on their own each night once they can. and it can be anything - it doesn't have to be some boring textbook. even reading comics does the trick.