What have you told your husband about your menopause?

[Anonymous]

I've mentioned the occassional hot flashes and insomnia but didn't go into much detail about my hormonal moods, irritable and mean.. thoughts that go with it. I try not to mention menopause in general, makes me feel old and I don't want to dwell on it nor have him to think of me that way. I'm secure in my marriage and myself overall but somehow .. menopause, just seems like another "category" or horrible situation.

[Anonymous]

I say about as much as you are saying. I was so lucky when I was in my menstrual years (whatever you call it). I never had PMS or other emotional issues. Now sometimes I feel it is all I can do to hold it together. Sleep is the worst thing for me. I got a prescription for Ambien and on the days after I've taken it, I feel so much better.

[Anonymous]

I've told my husband about everything except I haven't been fully forthcoming about the discomfort of intercourse. He knows I'm much more sensitive and we've accommodated that (a lot more oral) but I haven't told him everything.

[Anonymous]

My Husband understands me taking HRT
Better mood
Good hair and skin and nails
No whining
Not tired
I sleep well
I am happier
So everybody is happier

[Anonymous]

No night sweats
No hot flashes
HRT

[Anonymous]

Haven’t really talked about it but it’s really just starting. Started getting hot flashes about a month ago. Surprised how awful they are, particularly when I’m in a meeting, or worse, doing a presentation.

[Anonymous]

Talked about hot flashes, he can tell I get angerier than I used to (so I explained it happens), and we had to talk about vaginal dryness. Hes a good guy and we figured things out. I have had some noticable physical changes no one ever mentioned, so it's not like I can hide it.

On the plus side, I don't have period problema every month like I did.

[Anonymous]

What is there to be angry about just because you're going through menopause?

[Anonymous]

I'm in menopause (52) and I used to totally stress out (when I was 42 etc) because my DH has a fantasy of getting me pregnant. It was just a fantasy; we were done with kids, but all I could think about was every day was me getting farther away from being fertile, which I equated with sexy.

Finally I told my DH how this little fantasy was freaking me out, and why, and said, "look, when I'm 80 years old with white hair, are you still going to be going on about getting me pregnant?" and he said, "Yes! Of course I will!"

Then I was irritated that I had wasted a few years worried about this. I do think if you have that spark, and then the key is to nurture it via being kind and sweet to your DH, they don't see the wrinkles.

I have also talked with him about how getting in the mood is harder for me and fessed up to menopause, because he thought it was me not being attracted to him.

To the PP with the uncomfortablity re intercourse, there is an estrogen creme that makes a huge difference. I haven't done any HRT or anything, but this cream (estrodial) is not linked to any cancer or anything; I made sure!

Also...at the risk of starting a DCUM topic, I'll say those two magic words...coconut oil

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is there to be angry about just because you're going through menopause?

Dude, get a clue. The hormonal shifts can cause one to be moodier. Something that might roll off your back years ago might make you upset when you’re perimenopausal.

[Anonymous]

My husband's a doctor. He knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've mentioned the occassional hot flashes and insomnia but didn't go into much detail about my hormonal moods, irritable and mean.. thoughts that go with it. I try not to mention menopause in general, makes me feel old and I don't want to dwell on it nor have him to think of me that way. I'm secure in my marriage and myself overall but somehow .. menopause, just seems like another "category" or horrible situation.

You’re not as secure as you think you are.
It’s not necessarily an easy time. Why wouldn’t you trust your spouse and your relationship to handle this? It’s 2018 and I can’t believe women are actually uncomfortable about talking with their spouse. If I were your husband, OP, I might be a bit offended that you didn’t trust me enough to be supportive.

[Anonymous]

Are the bad moods with menopause similar to PMS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is there to be angry about just because you're going through menopause?

Dude, get a clue. The hormonal shifts can cause one to be moodier. Something that might roll off your back years ago might make you upset when you’re perimenopausal.

You make women sound like they're a slave to hormones. Women can't win, whether it's PMS or menopause LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the bad moods with menopause similar to PMS?

Much worse,for me. I get angry and upset at everything. Finally had to go on meds, when I didn't during pms.