Is it ever appropriate to invite a teacher to a party in your home?

[Anonymous]

I've been a welcomed volunteer in my daughter's first grade class and her teacher and I seem to have a great relationship. We are having a medium-sized holiday party with about 30 adults and kids (about half of the guests are associated with her class) and I'd like to invite her and her husband. Would it be better to just not ask, knowing that she probably can't or won't say yes?

[Anonymous]

I'd probably wait until after your child has graduated from her class....that's just me though. I think she'd find it more of a compliment in a year if you told her how you remembered how lovely of a person she was and that you wanted to maintain a friendship, even after your child is done with her class.

[Anonymous]

I would not. If you have neighbors or other people you know that were to find out I believe they would have an uneasy feeling about it, even if you really just click with her and are being kind with no other motives. You will likely also cause her stress if she has to think about it. Wait until next year when your child is no longer in her specific class.

[Anonymous]

I would skip the invite. Get her a nice card and gift.

You wouldn't want her to feel obligated to go...and honestly she probably doesn't want to spend her time off with her students and their parents.

[Anonymous]

Well, when I was a kid, my parents did. They invited the headmistress of me and my sister's school over, and they invited my 4th grade teacher over, too. My parents just clicked with them and saw no reason not to have them and their families over. The friendships endured for many years, and I really enjoyed having that school-home crossover.

[Anonymous]

I think it's one of the Ames and Ilg's books that recommends inviting over the teacher if your child is having issues in school. Perhaps that is old-fashioned advice, but I think it would be ok. Particularly if you ask gently and give them an out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, when I was a kid, my parents did. They invited the headmistress of me and my sister's school over, and they invited my 4th grade teacher over, too. My parents just clicked with them and saw no reason not to have them and their families over. The friendships endured for many years, and I really enjoyed having that school-home crossover.

If you like her, I don't see why not. She has the option of accepting or declining. Some PPs on DCUM seem to think they are better than those who teach their children, don't be one of them.

[Anonymous]

I invite teachers to our gatherings. The last one had a large number of teachers and staff.

[Anonymous]

I teach K and have been invited to many parties by parents. I always politely decline, for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

FYI, my child's school encourages this! "We love to meet you, your families!"

[Anonymous]

Teacher here and I always nicely decline, as well as the other teachers in the school. I myself do not find it professional to attend a child's birthday party that is in my class. I also find it very awkward, and then favoritism comes about, and blah blah blah.

[Anonymous]

Birthday party -- no.

Holiday party? I see no reason why not, especially if you are a frequent volunteer and feel you get along well. I'm a teacher and have attended a few Christmas parties if they were convenient. They are easy enough to bow out of if you don't want to go.

[Anonymous]

Educational administrator here who was also a child (long ago) in a school that allowed/encouraged families to invite teachers over for parties, holiday dinners, etc.,. Don't do it - please don't to it.

1. As an administrator, I can tell you that this creates incredibly awkward situations for the teacher who might not want to come and doesn't know how to say no; for the teacher who wants to come but doesn't know how to act; for the parents who "decide" that there's favoritism for your child (and who thus complain). Administrators have to field far more questions/concerns about these issues these days than in years past . . . .

2. As a child who wistfully watched as other families got their teacher to come while I couldn't (for years my mom was too sick to facilitate this); once my mother got to a healthier place, I was finally given permission to have the beloved teacher to Thanksgiving dinner. She'd already accepted another invitation to another family's home, and my mother was never well enough to repeat the invite (it was mental illness, so there were LOTS of layers emotionally here). I will never forget being so jealous that other kids had this opportunity - even as a grown-up (who takes an objective stance in #1 above), I can still remember it.

OP, I know you mean no harm, but you need to allow the teacher to keep a distance while she's got your child in her class. Invite her over for a barbecue at the start of summer and put her on next year's list.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely agree that it is inappropriate, no matter how close you are, while your child is in that teachers class. Don't do that to the teacher. I know you may be posting looking for encouragement, OP. But in these times, it is inappropriate. Things have changed since we were kids!

[Anonymous]

I work in a school and the teacher i work with goes to nearly every birthday party that a child in her class has. This is a DC charter school fyi.