Is it ever appropriate to invite a teacher to a party in your home?

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. No matter how well you think you get along, you are not "friends."

[Anonymous]

Interesting responses. I'm in the camp that it really shouldn't be an issue.

Have any of you PPs read the book 'Hold On To Your Kids'? It makes the case that there are benefits to your children when the adults in their life are interacting. I think that's valid.

[Anonymous]

How about after your kid graduates. I really liked his teachers at preschool and we're all pretty friendly.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher, I'd feel able to comfortably make the decision to accept or decline based on a variety of factors (if I felt it might look like favoritism, how much time we actually spent together, how well we got along, if other teachers were invited, what my school climate/attitude about that was, and many, many other things). You can always give the invitation with the caveat that you're not sure if there is a school policy about this, but you wanted to extend the invitation anyway. That gives the teacher an easy out if she feels it's inappropriate or if she'd be uncomfortable.

And if you give the invitation in writing (email or card), rather than face-to-face from your or your child, the teacher will have time to consider her response without feeling put on the spot.

[Anonymous]

No. It is not appropriate and will most likely create issues real or imagined of favoritism from other parents. There should be a a professional line between teachers and the families of current students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about after your kid graduates. I really liked his teachers at preschool and we're all pretty friendly.

totally acceptable then

In the meantime, while teachers love to create nurturing relationships with their students in a warm classroom environment, it's still a "business" type deal. It's not a friendship.

[Anonymous]

We invite teachers to events inside and outside our home. We take no offense if they decline. We've had a few of them come to outside events (races, boy scout events, volunteer activities) but none have accepted invitations to our home.

BTW - none of these events cost the teacher money or require participation, it's all observer.

[Anonymous]

We invite teachers to events inside and outside our home. We take no offense if they decline. We've had a few of them come to outside events (races, boy scout events, volunteer activities) but none have accepted invitations to our home.

Are you for real? You do understand that teachers have their own lives, don't you? Why would you invite your child's teacher to an athletic event or boy scout outing? It is enough that they are with them all day. It is pretty self-absorbed to expect them to spend their free time with your little snowflake, too. Boundaries, people. Boundaries.

Teachers are not your child's family or friend, nor should they be treated as such. Even if you can't see that the necessity for a professional distance, they teacher should and I would question the judgement of any teacher who didn't.

[Anonymous]

OP here - After reading the mixed feedback here, I sent an invitation last night giving her an easy out and just got the sweetest note back. A very polite decline and what sounded like true appreciation for the invitation. I don't think any harm was done and at least she knows we enjoy her company.

[Anonymous]

Teacher is one thing, my SIL invites several of her church's priests to her house for casual parties. Its rather odd I think, you feel like you can't say anything vaguely inappropriate. I just steer clear of them....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. No matter how well you think you get along, you are not "friends."

You don't know this. One of my MILs best friends is my DHs Preschool teacher (they met when DH was in her class, got along, and indeed became good friends). She even attended our wedding and baby shower. Just because she is the teacher doesnt mean you can't/ shouldn't be friends outside of school. But, you may wait until your child is out of her class and invite her next year..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We invite teachers to events inside and outside our home. We take no offense if they decline. We've had a few of them come to outside events (races, boy scout events, volunteer activities) but none have accepted invitations to our home.

Are you for real? You do understand that teachers have their own lives, don't you? Why would you invite your child's teacher to an athletic event or boy scout outing? It is enough that they are with them all day. It is pretty self-absorbed to expect them to spend their free time with your little snowflake, too. Boundaries, people. Boundaries.

Teachers are not your child's family or friend, nor should they be treated as such. Even if you can't see that the necessity for a professional distance, they teacher should and I would question the judgement of any teacher who didn't.

Oh, I'm for real. Contrary to your assumption and assertion, we don't "expect" them to come. We invited them because they have expressed an interest in attending in the past. Perhaps it's different because my kids are in the special ed classrooms and the teachers know more about them and are more involved. In fact, we've had teachers tell us about activities they participate in that they think our kids may enjoy. We certainly don't treat them as friends or family, in fact, we don't even use first names with each other. Perhaps you have problems with boundaries but we have not and neither have our kids' teachers. And, we don't have any snowflakes, not sure what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher, I'd feel able to comfortably make the decision to accept or decline based on a variety of factors (if I felt it might look like favoritism, how much time we actually spent together, how well we got along, if other teachers were invited, what my school climate/attitude about that was, and many, many other things). You can always give the invitation with the caveat that you're not sure if there is a school policy about this, but you wanted to extend the invitation anyway. That gives the teacher an easy out if she feels it's inappropriate or if she'd be uncomfortable.

And if you give the invitation in writing (email or card), rather than face-to-face from your or your child, the teacher will have time to consider her response without feeling put on the spot.

I'm a teacher also, and I agree with this. I see no problem in inviting a teacher to a gathering. Just don't be offended if she declines. Know that it's nothing personal.

[Anonymous]

Things have changed because we didn't stand up for what was right. Now we live in an impersonal world where the only sense of community left is in the church. It is a very sad thing and I refuse to confirm to the cold methodical way of accepting change instead of standing for what was right and good.

[Anonymous]

Who teachers our children is personal...it should be personal to the teachers as well. It should mean a lot to them that wh get to be a part of a child's education and way of looking at the world. Teachers and parents play such a pivotal role in a child's life and if a child has been impacted in a positive way because of their teacher and want to celebrate their birthday with them. I would hope the teachers have enough courage and confidence in themselves that outside opinion would not influence whether they want to attend a celebration of ther students or not.