Do you stick with your own?

[Anonymous]

I have noticed in my (children's) new school that many moms only stick with other moms who speak their language. When it comes to social gatherings, they tend to favor those who also speak their language. The group/s seem to get smaller and smaller. Is it like this where you reside? If not, can you expalin so that others might expand their cirlce, if only a bit? I am curious if it is some weird sort of trust issue, custom issue or something I haven't even thought of.

[Anonymous]

For whatever reason I have a diverse group of friends - most through the neighborhood and through the school. Live in Rockville if that makes any difference.

[Anonymous]

Yes, pretty much. There aren't many other white/ english-speaking parents at my child's school, though. I'm usually on my own. I make a little small talk at pick up with those that speak english, but they tend to gravitate to other spanish-speakers. Naturally.

[Anonymous]

I have all sorts of friends but I try to hang out with people who speak the same language as me. For me, early exposure is more important than anything.

Our language is not Spanish so it's hard to find someone who speaks it. When we find, everybody is thrilled to be able to practice somewhere else than just "home"

[Anonymous]

I si t about practicing the language or having more "like-minded" individuals? Knowing what to expect, socially?

[Anonymous]

I wish parents would just be friendlier in general--introduce yourself to others at school gatherings, gah, --I do it sometimes but after a while I get a little gun shy of people who act taken aback by an ordinary greeting. Come on people, we all went to college mixers; you should try to mingle!

[Anonymous]

This area is funny. I definitely notice the Spanish speaking moms in one group and same with other languages which I might not know how to translate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed in my (children's) new school that many moms only stick with other moms who speak their language. When it comes to social gatherings, they tend to favor those who also speak their language. The group/s seem to get smaller and smaller. Is it like this where you reside? If not, can you expalin so that others might expand their cirlce, if only a bit? I am curious if it is some weird sort of trust issue, custom issue or something I haven't even thought of.

If you don't speak the same language, it's a little tough to have a conversation, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

7:49 - not pp, but ther is a basic assumption one knows English (plus other language/s) here, right?

[Anonymous]

I have a pretty diverse group of friends, from a variety of places including friends who are parents of the kids my kids are friends with: various nationalities, races and economic circumstances, but the one thing they all have in common is that they speak English. It's not always the only language they speak, but they all do speak english. It's not because I only want to "stick with my own", but because I only speak english and it's tough if not impossible to become friends with someone when you can't communicate with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7:49 - not pp, but ther is a basic assumption one knows English (plus other language/s) here, right?

Of course (well maybe not always, but still), but don't you feel most comfortable speaking in your native language? I'm bilingual, and I know there are times when I don't want to think and just want to talk. Maybe that's lazy on my part, but most people here get to do that all the time, since English is their native language. I have plenty of English-speaking friends, but I also do make an effort to share my culture and language with DS. It is important that we have some interaction with others who share that culture and language, especially since it is not a common language here.

That said, I don't segregate myself like that at school gatherings. I can't say for sure, but I don't think I would, even if I spoke a language like Spanish (tons of people here who speak that, so it would be easy to stick with my own).

[Anonymous]

We really didn't have too many "social activities" that involve parents.

We all generally hang most with our friends, but I never found the women who don't share my background to be anything but friendly.

[Anonymous]

I am white/US-born/euro-American. Live in a very expensive neighborhood in DC.

I have found that my favorite Mom buddies are invariably the women from other countries. It doesn't matter which, either! English is their second language.

I always gravitate to them over the more common archetype who populates my zip code.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you were living in a foreign country and found a group of American moms in your school wouldn't you choose to stick to them?

[Anonymous]

ok, is this really that surprising? when you share a language or cultural background with someone, you are very likely to find similarities and common ground very easily. so it requires less effort to make a connection. so it's not out of discrimination against other kinds... it's just easier. and by the way, it isn't just foreigners who do this. white bread american people do it all the time too. for example, you're from boston. you see someone wearing a red sox hat. you immediately strike up a conversation because you have a clear cultural connection.

i think people get too intimidated by hearing other languages spoken or people of the same color put together. why don't you go initiate a conversation yourself?