SSSAS - what is the culture like currently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a terrible experience in the lower school and pulled our kids and have never looked back. It seems it is a better place in the Upper school so that's good. But the administrators specifically and parents set the snobby exclusionary tone at the lower school and it filters down to the kids sadly. They learn to intentionally exclude and be unkind at an astonishingly young age. I would avoid at all costs.

🙁 If you don’t mind sharing, which school ended up working out? It can be hard to know before enrolling. The SSSAS admissions experience was a well-oiled marketing machine that did sound too good to be true. We looked at only a few more but we saw red flags there during the admissions process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like a lot of the negative feedback is from LS or MS. I’d encourage anyone looking at HS to consider it. DC started in 9th and it has been a wonderful experience.

We're considering it for 9th but we don't live in Alexandria. Will my kid be able to fit in?

There are plenty of kids from outside Alexandria. We’re in Falls Church, out near 7 Corners. DC has friends from all over the area, even Maryland. It makes no difference as long as the commute is fine for you.

[Anonymous]

I agree that they have a bullying problem at the MS and LS. We’ve seen it, and there are accounts of administrators and moms bullying different moms of kids throughout the divisions.
In the MS, several kids have been bullied by one of the teachers who has several roles there, so it’s hard for them to get away from.
There have been multiple accounts of problems with poor management of teacher absence and kid-unfriendly subs far out of sync with the values the school talks about.
One of the coaches seems to creep out several moms (not the daughters, that I know of).

I wouldn’t dismiss claims of bullying if your kid hasn’t experienced it directly or if there are stories of disgruntlement. Others’ experience can 100% also be - and is -happening. Reports about a range of incidents throughout the years are widespread.

SSSAS offers cool options, but that’s not impressive at this price point if kids can’t get out of it what they should and moms can’t go about their business in peace. Other schools here probably offer cool options too, but who knows if it comes without the behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a terrible experience in the lower school and pulled our kids and have never looked back. It seems it is a better place in the Upper school so that's good. But the administrators specifically and parents set the snobby exclusionary tone at the lower school and it filters down to the kids sadly. They learn to intentionally exclude and be unkind at an astonishingly young age. I would avoid at all costs.

🙁 If you don’t mind sharing, which school ended up working out? It can be hard to know before enrolling. The SSSAS admissions experience was a well-oiled marketing machine that did sound too good to be true. We looked at only a few more but we saw red flags there during the admissions process.

I wish I could say but I would probably get IDed. I’m sure the SSSAS admin monitors here. I’ll just say we moved to another private in NoVA and are much happier in a very warm and welcome community. I wish we hadn’t gone through the experience but everything is ok now. I wish I had seen the red flags myself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a terrible experience in the lower school and pulled our kids and have never looked back. It seems it is a better place in the Upper school so that's good. But the administrators specifically and parents set the snobby exclusionary tone at the lower school and it filters down to the kids sadly. They learn to intentionally exclude and be unkind at an astonishingly young age. I would avoid at all costs.

🙁 If you don’t mind sharing, which school ended up working out? It can be hard to know before enrolling. The SSSAS admissions experience was a well-oiled marketing machine that did sound too good to be true. We looked at only a few more but we saw red flags there during the admissions process.

I wish I could say but I would probably get IDed. I’m sure the SSSAS admin monitors here. I’ll just say we moved to another private in NoVA and are much happier in a very warm and welcome community. I wish we hadn’t gone through the experience but everything is ok now. I wish I had seen the red flags myself!

DP. If you’re not at SSSAS anymore, why does it matter if they recognize you here? Why gatekeep the good school that you moved to?

[Anonymous]

🙁 If you don’t mind sharing, which school ended up working out? It can be hard to know before enrolling. The SSSAS admissions experience was a well-oiled marketing machine that did sound too good to be true. We looked at only a few more but we saw red flags there during the admissions process.

What flags did you see during the admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Curious about red flags too.

I really liked SSASS admissions for US. DC did not choose it, but it seemed like a really nice place to go to school.

I do wonder about it socially etc for non-athletes. They definitely have other programs and there’s definitely kids that don’t play sports, but the fields/facilities alone speak to the emphasis on the importance of sports at that school.

[Anonymous]

It has a strong performing arts program with good facilities. Those activities are treated on par with sports. Most schools we visited had athletic fields of that quality so I think they are trying to keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a terrible experience in the lower school and pulled our kids and have never looked back. It seems it is a better place in the Upper school so that's good. But the administrators specifically and parents set the snobby exclusionary tone at the lower school and it filters down to the kids sadly. They learn to intentionally exclude and be unkind at an astonishingly young age. I would avoid at all costs.

🙁 If you don’t mind sharing, which school ended up working out? It can be hard to know before enrolling. The SSSAS admissions experience was a well-oiled marketing machine that did sound too good to be true. We looked at only a few more but we saw red flags there during the admissions process.

I wish I could say but I would probably get IDed. I’m sure the SSSAS admin monitors here. I’ll just say we moved to another private in NoVA and are much happier in a very warm and welcome community. I wish we hadn’t gone through the experience but everything is ok now. I wish I had seen the red flags myself!

DP. If you’re not at SSSAS anymore, why does it matter if they recognize you here? Why gatekeep the good school that you moved to?

We are another ex-SSSAS family who wishes we had left sooner. I don’t want to be specific bc my kids still play club sports w/ some saints kids, and some of them are awful enough that I’d hate to give them more ammunition for bullying. I’ll just say we are at a different VA k-12 and love everything about it. Spread your net widely - our new school has a well organized transportation department so even though we live further away, the logistics are easier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has a strong performing arts program with good facilities. Those activities are treated on par with sports. Most schools we visited had athletic fields of that quality so I think they are trying to keep up.

True but the technology/robotics is an afterthought. It’s in a crowded room in the basement. Definitely not equal weight to sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has a strong performing arts program with good facilities. Those activities are treated on par with sports. Most schools we visited had athletic fields of that quality so I think they are trying to keep up.

True but the technology/robotics is an afterthought. It’s in a crowded room in the basement. Definitely not equal weight to sports

You make it sound like a dungeon. The building is on a hill so the robotics room has a wall of windows and an exterior door. The kids open it up and even bring materials outside to work on when the weather is nice. There are also far fewer students doing robotics vs performing arts, vs sports.

There’s no stigma against kids who aren’t athletic or don’t participate in sports. It’s very much a school that enables students to pursue their interests. Students don’t ever have to do a sport to fulfill the PE requirement - robotics and performing arts can cover all of it. There are also plenty of students who do both sports and performing arts or robotics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious about red flags too.

I really liked SSASS admissions for US. DC did not choose it, but it seemed like a really nice place to go to school.

I do wonder about it socially etc for non-athletes. They definitely have other programs and there’s definitely kids that don’t play sports, but the fields/facilities alone speak to the emphasis on the importance of sports at that school.

They just completed an upper school wing expansion that created new art rooms, student art exhibit space, and new science rooms. The performing arts facility is gorgeous. The sport facilities are great, but there’s not an overemphasis on it. The majority of my kid’s social group, which is 10-12 kid so nearly 10% of their grade, doesn’t do sports at all or does just one season. Almost all are in one type of performing arts or another (choir, instrumental, and/or theater). Socially it’s just fine for non-athletic students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The current 8th grade class, rising 9th, is lovely. We’d be happy to have your children join us and I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the wonderful community.

Not the girls. And I know because I had a kid in that class.

- Signed, an SSSAS parent

PS - to the posters who have received admissions for the US. The school should have had a current parent call you to welcome you to the school and answer any parent to parent questions. If someone has not called you by now, reach out to the admissions office and asked to be paired to a liaison.

Well, this scares me; my rising 9th grade daughter is on the verge of accepting. What are the issues you observed?

Well I don’t know if this is any different from 8th grades at other schools. That being said, there is a core group of very mean “popular” girls that love to invoke “8th grade priority” to 7th and 6th graders, especially in the halls, bathrooms and one particular staircase. There has been quite a bit of intragrade girl drama, I do know of one family specifically moved (not just changed schools) because their daughter was getting bullied so bad at school and online. One girl in particular is almost being pushed to leave but I think her parents are still keeping her there. There have been many friend dramas.

My kid has not been affected by it and she likes her friends there and academically has had a great year so for now we are staying. But the current 8th (and even somewhat the 7th) grades have intense girl drama. Is that just a function of being 13, maybe. But for another poster so say this grade is so amazing and nice is just lying.

This is very unsettling. Does the school just turn a blind eye to the bullying behavior? Obviously they are not doing enough to address it but are they doing anything?

There has been some drama among girls in that grade but it is absolutely false to suggest the school doesn’t take it seriously and isn’t doing everything they can to address it. Social dynamics among middle schoolers are challenging at times but I think it’s a stretch to even call what has happened “bullying”.

Seriously, this is why anonymous boards suck. Anyone considering the school should speak to a current parent. I know admissions is pairing families so they can have conversations about the school - that would be the appropriate way to address any concerns. Also I have zero knowledge of anyone leaving as a result of behaviors between girls, and basically all this behavior was pre-covid anyway.

PP here:

1) behavior is not only precovid, it’s still there and it’s in person and online. I am not naming names but many of the offenders are very tall. Behavior is also online, on tik tok and snap chat.

2). Family left for 7th grade due to bullying, I have first hand knowledge as mother told me herself. It wasn’t a secret though.

3). The school has been intervening with one girl in particular and the family had been looking to switch schools (which I also heard directly from that mother). But she’s staying.

4). I have no idea if the school is handling it. I also don’t know the US staff very well because I haven’t had a kid on that campus yet. What should matter is how Mallett and the US staff should handle this. Next year it doesn’t matter re the MS. So instead of calling Grieves or Koonce or Japha, call the US. I would speak to an US and an 8th grade parent.

Look my kid has stayed away from this drama, and I don’t think it’s unique for 8th grade at any school. However this class isn’t “lovely”. They have the same 8th grade girl drama that probably others so. They tend to pick on their own group or who they think are popular in lower grades. They don’t seem to be interested in girls that aren’t “popular”. So they keep their angst to their own circle and maybe a little on the outside. My daughter doesn’t pay much attention to them and so far it hasn’t been a problem. But if it was believe me I’d been in someone’s office about it. So go in with your eyes open.

Fair enough.

But for reference, my DD is very close friends with two girls in our neighborhood, one of whom is in public and the other in another Alexandria private. My DD tells me some of the drama/bullying among girls she hears about from these friends, and has directly told me that she is “shocked” by what happens at other schools. When I asked her if those things happen at St. Stephens, she replied, with a very serious demeanor, “Never. That would never happen. We all know each other. It’s just not what we do.”

Difficult behavior at that age is hard to avoid. It’s heartbreaking, especially when it happens to your own kid, and especially when you feel powerless to stop it. But blaming the school, or suggesting others are cautious about attending the school, is unnecessary. Compared to many many other schools, SSSAS does a wonderful job fostering kindness and teaching children how to handle tricky social situations rather than turning a blind eye. Really, it does. A few rough situations doesn’t mean that class isn’t lovely - it is. Lovely doesn’t mean perfect, as no school or group of kids ever is. But I think there are fewer of this type of issue at St. Stephens than at most middle and high schools, and the administration deserves credit for that.

It all starts with the mean Moms. Mean girls learn it somewhere and it’s not from their Dads!

[Anonymous]

DD is currently in the LS at SSSAS, and we've had a fantastic experience. So far, it has been a nurturing environment in which she is thriving. I think that, with any school, you have to stay aware of what is happening and be willing to advocate or pivot as needed. If she needs to move for some reason or another in the future, we'll remain open to it. I was adamantly opposed to SSSAS during the admissions process based on things I've heard from people, but they definitely won us over. You never know what is right for your child, so give it a shot and see what works for your family.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak to the lower school, we started in 9th, but my kid has had a great experience as a non-jock and we have felt very welcomed by the community. The moms I have interacted with have been nothing but gracious.