When you're at a dinner party and there's only wine, no other drinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I think it is odd not to have water for everyone, even those drinking wine. But for a dinner, I think it is odd to expect more than water to be offered.

Cocktail hour, happy hour, backyard bbq, sure. I would offer a selection of non-alcoholic drinks. But in general, wine is picked to pair well with the meal and water is to quench your thirst. You can live through a meal without a tasty drink.

Normally I would agree with you but as a recovering alcoholic it helps to have something with flavor in it in order to deal with the smells of alcohol that other people are drinking.

I have a couple of friends and family members in recovery, as well as Mormon friends who don't drink coffee or tea or alcohol. When they come over, I always have additional drink options available. It's rare that I don't know my dinner guests' restrictions. If I were throwing a larger gathering that wasn't a sit-down meal, I would have a cooler with a few non-alcoholic options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I think it is odd not to have water for everyone, even those drinking wine. But for a dinner, I think it is odd to expect more than water to be offered.

Cocktail hour, happy hour, backyard bbq, sure. I would offer a selection of non-alcoholic drinks. But in general, wine is picked to pair well with the meal and water is to quench your thirst. You can live through a meal without a tasty drink.

Normally I would agree with you but as a recovering alcoholic it helps to have something with flavor in it in order to deal with the smells of alcohol that other people are drinking.

OK, well if you are a recovering alcoholic who truly does "need" a sugary drink to help with your specific problem, you need to bring your own or give your hosts a heads up. Because that is WAY different from an adult like OP who simply "needs" sugary drinks because she's ruined her taste buds by drinking sugary beverages with literally every meal, every single DAY.

Most adults who aren't addicted to soda or recovering from alcohol are just fine with drinking water. Water is what we drink at our dinner tables 95% of the time, and we also enjoy wine on special occasions or when guests are around.

+1

My sister is a recovering alcoholic and she drives around with cans and bottles of sparkling water in her car. If you can't go to dinner parties and such where others are drinking without being tempted, you should probably decline those invitations until you are in a healthier state.

Recovering alcoholic pp here. Actually I've been in recovery for decades. I'm fine drinking water when others are drinking wine. Just that it would be nice to have something with flavor in it for those moments when I can smell the alcohol.

I should be clear about this. It's not a matter of risking my recovery. It's just that if I were a host I would be interested in accommodating my guests' needs, even if it was just a slight annoyance for them. So I would want to know that this can make a difference in someone's comfort level. That's why I'm sharing it with y'all. I just find it weird that there are posters who are acting like this is some awful demand on the host or reflective of a working class background (as if there were something wrong with that). Fate worse than death! Serving ice tea or a mocktail at a formal dinner!

If you don't tell your hosts about your situation and preferences, they won't know. I attended many dinner parties while pregnant and drank water or sparkling water just fine while others were drinking wine. I didn't feel I was missing out on anything. The vast majority of adults drink water with dinner, in informal or formal settings, with or without wine.

[Anonymous]

Is a sparkling water addiction common with alcoholics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Related question: why don't many of you have other options in the house other than wine/beef, coffee/tea and water? Why don't you drink other types of beverages? Yes they're sugary and not healthy but how is this different than keeping cookies/pastries/cupcakes/ice cream in the house?

But I don’t keep cookies, pastries, etc. either. I might buy or bake a pastry/bread if I’m hosting brunch but I otherwise do not have this stuff in my house. If I’m hosting pizza night I’ll buy some soda, but no one in my house drinks it, so if there are leftovers, i might have one random old Coke around at some point in the future, but that would be it.

I had no idea that anyone would ever expect to be served soda at one of my formal dinner parties. I put together elaborate wine and food pairings as I collect wine and really enjoy everything about it, so feel free to decline my invite since the whole point is to pair interesting and nice wines with the food.

[Anonymous]

Formal dinner parties are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Formal dinner parties are the worst.

Then don’t come. I’ve never had any trouble with people rejecting my invites. It’s not an every weekend thing, but I have fun throwing one every few months. I also throw my share of bbqs, brunches, and other events. I like to host.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need so much liquid to wash down your food, OP? Do you have a medical problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formal dinner parties are the worst.

Then don’t come. I’ve never had any trouble with people rejecting my invites. It’s not an every weekend thing, but I have fun throwing one every few months. I also throw my share of bbqs, brunches, and other events. I like to host.

Ditto. Exactly. It's every now and then, and I also do more casual events, of course.

Don't want to come? Politely decline. Problem solved!

[Anonymous]

18:35 - It's more that because I don't like liquor, I'm forced to be completely sober while everyone else is getting sloshed on liquor. I don't like being the only sober one without a damn good reason like pregnancy.

So I'd prefer not to go anywhere without some sort of non-liquor option like beer or wine.

Luckily it's rarely a problem.

[Anonymous]

12:44 - I agree with you. It's nice to have an option other than just plain water, even if it's seltzer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Related question: why don't many of you have other options in the house other than wine/beef, coffee/tea and water? Why don't you drink other types of beverages? Yes they're sugary and not healthy but how is this different than keeping cookies/pastries/cupcakes/ice cream in the house?

But I don’t keep cookies, pastries, etc. either. I might buy or bake a pastry/bread if I’m hosting brunch but I otherwise do not have this stuff in my house. If I’m hosting pizza night I’ll buy some soda, but no one in my house drinks it, so if there are leftovers, i might have one random old Coke around at some point in the future, but that would be it.

I had no idea that anyone would ever expect to be served soda at one of my formal dinner parties. I put together elaborate wine and food pairings as I collect wine and really enjoy everything about it, so feel free to decline my invite since the whole point is to pair interesting and nice wines with the food.

NP. I don't drink things other than water, wine, coffee/tea, and milk (and the occasional cocktail or beer). Neither do my DH or kids. Why would I keep other drinks around? I haven't drunk a soda in years and have zero interest, and I drink juice only a few times/year, usually if I'm at a hotel or a brunch that has something fresh squeezed. I have certainly never seen soda served at a dinner party. We eat cookies/pastries/ice cream from time to time, but I like to bake so usually I will make something rather than buying something. Why do some people think everyone should consume sugary drinks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Related question: why don't many of you have other options in the house other than wine/beef, coffee/tea and water? Why don't you drink other types of beverages? Yes they're sugary and not healthy but how is this different than keeping cookies/pastries/cupcakes/ice cream in the house?

1. We don't often keep those sugary foods in our house

2. There is a health difference - sugar in drinks is absorbed faster, and has a greater effect in spiking blood sugar. Sugar in a food is absorbed more slowly, esp if at the end of a meal

3. We just prefer eating sugar to drinking it.

Its okay to have different preferences, and to do your own parties based on them (in fact when we have guests, we almost always have sparkling water, sometimes flavored sparkling water, not just still water, whether we serve wine or not)

But it is not at all odd or rude to NOT have soda or juice at a formal dinner party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP.

And this situation happens to me quite often.

I do not drink alcohol and I find myself at a dinner (family or friends) and there's only water or wine to drink.
I wish I could drink coke or something just more fancy than water.

I am a good hostess and offer a wide range of drinks during a meal at my place.

Coke = "fancy"?

LMAO

Right? I think there's a subtle class division going on here that I've never noticed before. People who mostly drink water vs people who need soda or sugary drinks with dinner.

Yup. My lower middle class parents always had soda at the dinner table. When I took my upper middle class GF to visit (I met her at prestigious college) my parents had both wine AND soda at the dinner table. She found this odd - not having the soda available, but having the soda on the table "if you have wine on the dinner table, you don't have soda on the table!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is a sparkling water addiction common with alcoholics?

Hunh. Weird. I'm not an alcoholi, and drink tons of it--like a PPs recovering sister, I have it in my car, and often with me. I don't like plain water. Wonder if people now think that? Well, obvi not those that see me drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Related question: why don't many of you have other options in the house other than wine/beef, coffee/tea and water? Why don't you drink other types of beverages? Yes they're sugary and not healthy but how is this different than keeping cookies/pastries/cupcakes/ice cream in the house?

I don't enjoy sugary drinks. I do enjoy Tate's chocolate chip cookies.