What does no boxed gifts please mean?

[Anonymous]

I'm Korean and first birthdays are a big deal. Most guests gave cash in the amount of $50-300. Our venue wasn't cheap. It was $75 per person. These parties are often hosted in banquet halls.

I would never in a million years request no boxed gifts. So rude! We only received about 5 actual physical gifts. The rest were all cash, checks and gift cards.

[Anonymous]

"Your invitation said no boxed gifts so we would love to take you for frozen yogurt sometime soon to celebrate your birthday!"
is what I would write in the card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For Indians,I do. Their weddings routinely has five hundred guests. You invite any and every person you know.

Weddings, believable. 200 at a first birthday party is not. I could see even 80, which is massive...but 200....no.

NP here. Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it's not the norm in some cultures. I had friends from Nigeria explain to me that for them, a first birthday party is as big a deal as a wedding, with fancy food, tons of people, angst over finding the perfect gift, etc. This is true in some other cultures as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For children's parties, I write the following:
Your presence is gift enough, no presents please.

I really don't need more toys to pick up, and my children receive gifts from family. Frankly, I would be glad if someone brought cash or a gift card, then the kids could use the money for something they really wanted. Still, I'd never ask or imply cash gifts only. I have seen children with nothing sit by and be forced to watch an avalanche of gift opening by a middle class birthday kid with too much stuff already. It breeds resentment and social divide. Parties should be about people.

Showers on the other hand are a way of preparing a couple for a new step in life. Registeries are totally appropriate, but the final choice should rest with the gift giver. I would advise not placing honeymoon itemized lists, but simply listing contributions to the household are appreciated also.


Who is opening presents at a birthday party? That is tacky for the reason above. Save the present opening for when the guests have gone.

A distant but fun memory for me: When DD was 4, we had a party at a venue where it was impractical for her to open presents in front of her guests. DH took a picture of her holding each present as she opened it (with her expression of delight fully captured). We taped the photo to the front of a card. She 'dictated' a 2-4 sentence thank you that I wrote for her on the back of the card and she signed it. I kept copies of each of the photos and I still love remembering how much fun she had opening. A couple of moms later told me that their kids kept the photos on their bulletin boards as a fun memory for themselves, too, of picking out gifts for DD. I miss those sweet days .

I have a 10 and a 12 year old. It seems that at most parties, the gifts are opened if the party is at the birthday child's home. If it's at a venue, the gifts are opened later. My kids actually enjoy it more when they get to see their friend's reaction to the gift they picked out for them. We are in Arlington, if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For Indians,I do. Their weddings routinely has five hundred guests. You invite any and every person you know.

Why? How do poor Indians afford this?

[Anonymous]

Silly question, but what would the six year old's family be expected to do with the monetary contributions -- which apparently can total up to 4000 dollars? Is it expected that this would be the basis of a college fund? Would the money be used for swimming lessons, a new violin?
I guess I'm kind of selfish because I could picture drafting a thank you that said:
Thank you so much for the generous gift. We've decided that our child is quite talented in sports and would thus benefit from a wide screen TV for watching sporting events. She also seemed a little down this winter so we've decided she would benefit from a vacation in the Tropics in February, etc. etc. etc.

[Anonymous]

I think gift requests on invitations are tacky. Full stop. Even saying "no presents" is making an assumption