Can I leave my infant in the car alone to...,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wish I knew if the OP's now 8 yr old lived through being left in the car for a few minutes.

What if they didn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the urge, but don’t.


Even if it technically legal in your podunk state…don’t. Carjackings are on a major rise all over the country, in all demographics. Turning to use the atm - which was the og question- will have you distracted enough to not be supervising. Beyond that there are so many other things that can go wrong.

Lol are you closely supervising your sleeping baby while you are driving the car? And speaking of “so many things can go wrong”— that’s literally what driving in your car is, every time. So are things like leaving your baby in the care of others.

The truth is that something could always happen. Statistically, your child is more likely to be in a car accident than to be snatched from your car when you are standing a few feet away. They are more likely to fall off a piece of furniture or choke on food they grab off another child’s plate at daycare than to overheat in a car in a few minutes time. I’m really not sure why people are so fixated on this situation as so dangerous. Life is inherently dangerous, but we assess risk and find a way to figure it out. I think many people on this thread are being incredibly hypocritical here.

Because it's easy to take your child out of the car fir a trip to the ATM. Meanwhile, it's hard to structure your life in such a way that your child is never in a car/susceptible to a car accident. Life is dangerous, yes. No one is denying that by saying not to take a completely unnecessary risk.

[Anonymous]

First off, thank you for asking.

Ignore the snarky remarks, mom again thank you for asking.

The answer to your question may save your child's life.

Take the response of "No" seriously.

Especially at ATMs, you are at the risk of being assaulted or robbed when exiting your vehicle to take cash out of machines. There are so many stories of stolen cars with children inside.

Please please please do not leave your child in a car. A Doona carseat stroller may be the best option for you if you are struggling with managing transitioning from the car to errand running. This is definitely not an easy thing.

Consider thinking around /making adjustments to you errand schedule. Can you get a small safe and keep cash at home so that you dont have to go to the ATM often? can you go to the ATM the night before when your husband/family member is home to get a break from baby?

Sounds like you may need a break/added supports. Good luck mom, we know it is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the urge, but don’t.


Even if it technically legal in your podunk state…don’t. Carjackings are on a major rise all over the country, in all demographics. Turning to use the atm - which was the og question- will have you distracted enough to not be supervising. Beyond that there are so many other things that can go wrong.

Lol are you closely supervising your sleeping baby while you are driving the car? And speaking of “so many things can go wrong”— that’s literally what driving in your car is, every time. So are things like leaving your baby in the care of others.

The truth is that something could always happen. Statistically, your child is more likely to be in a car accident than to be snatched from your car when you are standing a few feet away. They are more likely to fall off a piece of furniture or choke on food they grab off another child’s plate at daycare than to overheat in a car in a few minutes time. I’m really not sure why people are so fixated on this situation as so dangerous. Life is inherently dangerous, but we assess risk and find a way to figure it out. I think many people on this thread are being incredibly hypocritical here.

Because it's easy to take your child out of the car fir a trip to the ATM. Meanwhile, it's hard to structure your life in such a way that your child is never in a car/susceptible to a car accident. Life is dangerous, yes. No one is denying that by saying not to take a completely unnecessary risk.

It’s not necessarily easy to take your child out of the car to go to an ATM, and doing so isn’t necessarily safer than leaving them in the car. I have a 5 year old with special needs that is a severe elopement risk. He’s not going to reliably stand by my side at an ATM. The risk of him running off into road is much greater than the risk something is going to happen to him in the car. And when he and his twin sibling were younger, but old enough to be out of carrying car seats, it would be very hard to take them out of the car. I'm not going to set up a tandem stroller to go 10ft. I'd leave one in the car while I'd carry the other into the house. And yes, I'd leave them in the car to walk up to an ATM as long as I could still see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wish I knew if the OP's now 8 yr old lived through being left in the car for a few minutes.

What if they didn’t?

They would have been a news story 8 years ago if they didn't because it's INCREDIBLY rare and weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the urge, but don’t.


Even if it technically legal in your podunk state…don’t. Carjackings are on a major rise all over the country, in all demographics. Turning to use the atm - which was the og question- will have you distracted enough to not be supervising. Beyond that there are so many other things that can go wrong.

Lol are you closely supervising your sleeping baby while you are driving the car? And speaking of “so many things can go wrong”— that’s literally what driving in your car is, every time. So are things like leaving your baby in the care of others.

The truth is that something could always happen. Statistically, your child is more likely to be in a car accident than to be snatched from your car when you are standing a few feet away. They are more likely to fall off a piece of furniture or choke on food they grab off another child’s plate at daycare than to overheat in a car in a few minutes time. I’m really not sure why people are so fixated on this situation as so dangerous. Life is inherently dangerous, but we assess risk and find a way to figure it out. I think many people on this thread are being incredibly hypocritical here.

Because it's easy to take your child out of the car fir a trip to the ATM. Meanwhile, it's hard to structure your life in such a way that your child is never in a car/susceptible to a car accident. Life is dangerous, yes. No one is denying that by saying not to take a completely unnecessary risk.

It’s not necessarily easy to take your child out of the car to go to an ATM, and doing so isn’t necessarily safer than leaving them in the car. I have a 5 year old with special needs that is a severe elopement risk. He’s not going to reliably stand by my side at an ATM. The risk of him running off into road is much greater than the risk something is going to happen to him in the car. And when he and his twin sibling were younger, but old enough to be out of carrying car seats, it would be very hard to take them out of the car. I'm not going to set up a tandem stroller to go 10ft. I'd leave one in the car while I'd carry the other into the house. And yes, I'd leave them in the car to walk up to an ATM as long as I could still see them.

This. It’s not always easy to get your kid out of the car to run a quick errand. What about stopping somewhere to pick up two heavy bags that need to be loaded into your trunk? Do you need to get a sleeping baby out of the car and into a carrier to complete this task?

Also, if going to an ATM poses such a high risk of being robbed, what god does bringing your baby do? Say you take the car seat out of the car and carry it over to the ATM. You will need to put car seat down to use the machine. Can’t someone come grab the car seat and run? Can’t the rob you right there next to your baby? Wouldn’t you rather your baby be safely in the car in the extremely remote chance this happens?

It’s just so weird that people in this thread are FREAKED OUT about the possibility of either a carjacking or a child overheating (rare things that are extremely unlikely to happen, especially if you know the crime rates in the neighborhood and are only gone a few minutes) but will handwave all the stuff that could happen if you get the baby out of the car.

I think people are uncomfortable with risk and think that if they are vigilant they can control it, but you can’t. Most actions carry some risk. You have to accept it and stop judging people for taking slightly different risks than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wish I knew if the OP's now 8 yr old lived through being left in the car for a few minutes.

What if they didn’t?

They would have been a news story 8 years ago if they didn't because it's INCREDIBLY rare and weird.

I guess my point was someone tried to make that lame joke a few times. And kids do get taken and die. So you can be flip about it and pretend it doesn’t happen, but it does.

Most of us are parents and have had to make this choice. Usually it comes at OK. But sometimes it doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the urge, but don’t.


Even if it technically legal in your podunk state…don’t. Carjackings are on a major rise all over the country, in all demographics. Turning to use the atm - which was the og question- will have you distracted enough to not be supervising. Beyond that there are so many other things that can go wrong.

Lol are you closely supervising your sleeping baby while you are driving the car? And speaking of “so many things can go wrong”— that’s literally what driving in your car is, every time. So are things like leaving your baby in the care of others.

The truth is that something could always happen. Statistically, your child is more likely to be in a car accident than to be snatched from your car when you are standing a few feet away. They are more likely to fall off a piece of furniture or choke on food they grab off another child’s plate at daycare than to overheat in a car in a few minutes time. I’m really not sure why people are so fixated on this situation as so dangerous. Life is inherently dangerous, but we assess risk and find a way to figure it out. I think many people on this thread are being incredibly hypocritical here.

Because it's easy to take your child out of the car fir a trip to the ATM. Meanwhile, it's hard to structure your life in such a way that your child is never in a car/susceptible to a car accident. Life is dangerous, yes. No one is denying that by saying not to take a completely unnecessary risk.

It’s not necessarily easy to take your child out of the car to go to an ATM, and doing so isn’t necessarily safer than leaving them in the car. I have a 5 year old with special needs that is a severe elopement risk. He’s not going to reliably stand by my side at an ATM. The risk of him running off into road is much greater than the risk something is going to happen to him in the car. And when he and his twin sibling were younger, but old enough to be out of carrying car seats, it would be very hard to take them out of the car. I'm not going to set up a tandem stroller to go 10ft. I'd leave one in the car while I'd carry the other into the house. And yes, I'd leave them in the car to walk up to an ATM as long as I could still see them.

This. It’s not always easy to get your kid out of the car to run a quick errand. What about stopping somewhere to pick up two heavy bags that need to be loaded into your trunk? Do you need to get a sleeping baby out of the car and into a carrier to complete this task?

Also, if going to an ATM poses such a high risk of being robbed, what god does bringing your baby do? Say you take the car seat out of the car and carry it over to the ATM. You will need to put car seat down to use the machine. Can’t someone come grab the car seat and run? Can’t the rob you right there next to your baby? Wouldn’t you rather your baby be safely in the car in the extremely remote chance this happens?

It’s just so weird that people in this thread are FREAKED OUT about the possibility of either a carjacking or a child overheating (rare things that are extremely unlikely to happen, especially if you know the crime rates in the neighborhood and are only gone a few minutes) but will handwave all the stuff that could happen if you get the baby out of the car.

I think people are uncomfortable with risk and think that if they are vigilant they can control it, but you can’t. Most actions carry some risk. You have to accept it and stop judging people for taking slightly different risks than you.

Or maybe everyone handles things differently and they aren’t you. What is incredibly odd is your need to use all caps and enable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wish I knew if the OP's now 8 yr old lived through being left in the car for a few minutes.

What if they didn’t?

They would have been a news story 8 years ago if they didn't because it's INCREDIBLY rare and weird.

I guess my point was someone tried to make that lame joke a few times. And kids do get taken and die. So you can be flip about it and pretend it doesn’t happen, but it does.

Most of us are parents and have had to make this choice. Usually it comes at OK. But sometimes it doesn’t.

It is extraordinarily rare for something like that to happen. When children are kidnapped it is virtually always someone who knows the child. When you say the bold you make it sound like that happens everyday so parents are making an incredibly risky choice. It truly does not. It is like winning the lottery in reverse. Like seriously you are increasing your kid's chances of getting cancer by feeding them bacon more than you are putting them at risk of kidnapping in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the urge, but don’t.


Even if it technically legal in your podunk state…don’t. Carjackings are on a major rise all over the country, in all demographics. Turning to use the atm - which was the og question- will have you distracted enough to not be supervising. Beyond that there are so many other things that can go wrong.

Lol are you closely supervising your sleeping baby while you are driving the car? And speaking of “so many things can go wrong”— that’s literally what driving in your car is, every time. So are things like leaving your baby in the care of others.

The truth is that something could always happen. Statistically, your child is more likely to be in a car accident than to be snatched from your car when you are standing a few feet away. They are more likely to fall off a piece of furniture or choke on food they grab off another child’s plate at daycare than to overheat in a car in a few minutes time. I’m really not sure why people are so fixated on this situation as so dangerous. Life is inherently dangerous, but we assess risk and find a way to figure it out. I think many people on this thread are being incredibly hypocritical here.

Because it's easy to take your child out of the car fir a trip to the ATM. Meanwhile, it's hard to structure your life in such a way that your child is never in a car/susceptible to a car accident. Life is dangerous, yes. No one is denying that by saying not to take a completely unnecessary risk.

It’s not necessarily easy to take your child out of the car to go to an ATM, and doing so isn’t necessarily safer than leaving them in the car. I have a 5 year old with special needs that is a severe elopement risk. He’s not going to reliably stand by my side at an ATM. The risk of him running off into road is much greater than the risk something is going to happen to him in the car. And when he and his twin sibling were younger, but old enough to be out of carrying car seats, it would be very hard to take them out of the car. I'm not going to set up a tandem stroller to go 10ft. I'd leave one in the car while I'd carry the other into the house. And yes, I'd leave them in the car to walk up to an ATM as long as I could still see them.

This. It’s not always easy to get your kid out of the car to run a quick errand. What about stopping somewhere to pick up two heavy bags that need to be loaded into your trunk? Do you need to get a sleeping baby out of the car and into a carrier to complete this task?

Also, if going to an ATM poses such a high risk of being robbed, what god does bringing your baby do? Say you take the car seat out of the car and carry it over to the ATM. You will need to put car seat down to use the machine. Can’t someone come grab the car seat and run? Can’t the rob you right there next to your baby? Wouldn’t you rather your baby be safely in the car in the extremely remote chance this happens?

It’s just so weird that people in this thread are FREAKED OUT about the possibility of either a carjacking or a child overheating (rare things that are extremely unlikely to happen, especially if you know the crime rates in the neighborhood and are only gone a few minutes) but will handwave all the stuff that could happen if you get the baby out of the car.

I think people are uncomfortable with risk and think that if they are vigilant they can control it, but you can’t. Most actions carry some risk. You have to accept it and stop judging people for taking slightly different risks than you.

Those stories about people taking the car with the baby aren't about someone trying to kidnap the baby. Baby is incidental. The thief wants the car, sees the keys are in the car, and realizes the car can be taken easily and quickly. They don't know the baby is in the car.

I agree this is rare, but it's incorrect to compare it to someone kidnapping the baby next to you. That doesn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

I did a lot of mental gymnastics to make things OK when I was exhausted and desperately trying to accomplish basic tasks without complications. Leaving baby in the car is not one of those things that’s ok.

I cried every time the gas pump said see attendant. I’d drive elsewhere. Take a longer route to a drive up atm. Starbucks. Library book drop off.

[Anonymous]

There is a middle ground here, of course.

YES- I will return a cart after buckling up the kids. Depending on how far of a distance and if there's any other people between the car and where I'm going, I might or might not lock it.

YES- I will run in the coffee shop to grab my mobile order if my parking spot is near enough the door/in my sightline. I definitely lock the door for that.

NO- I would not leave a child in the car to run an errand of greater than say, 3 minutes.

MAYBE - Pay at pump isn't working. I would probably do one of those outside/walk-up cashier windows, but I don't think I'd go to one where I had to go in the store and wait in line. If I did, I would lock the car. I actually even lock the car when I am right there at the pump. Around our area robbery and car jacking while you're on the far side of your car is not unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did a lot of mental gymnastics to make things OK when I was exhausted and desperately trying to accomplish basic tasks without complications. Leaving baby in the car is not one of those things that’s ok.

I cried every time the gas pump said see attendant. I’d drive elsewhere. Take a longer route to a drive up atm. Starbucks. Library book drop off.

You cried because it was unsafe to leave your baby in the car for 45 seconds, to walk 15 feet to the gas station attendant? No, you cried because you felt you were not allowed to do that and that someone would call the police on you (even though it wouldn’t have been illegal in many states). It’s not the situation that’s unsafe, it’s the crazy nosy cruel people who make it their jobs to make life harder for moms of babies, as some sort of garden of Eden type punishment.

Do you know that some moms SLEEP while their babies are asleep, and are like 50 feet away in an entirely different room? Ikr?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the urge, but don’t.


Even if it technically legal in your podunk state…don’t. Carjackings are on a major rise all over the country, in all demographics. Turning to use the atm - which was the og question- will have you distracted enough to not be supervising. Beyond that there are so many other things that can go wrong.

Lol are you closely supervising your sleeping baby while you are driving the car? And speaking of “so many things can go wrong”— that’s literally what driving in your car is, every time. So are things like leaving your baby in the care of others.

The truth is that something could always happen. Statistically, your child is more likely to be in a car accident than to be snatched from your car when you are standing a few feet away. They are more likely to fall off a piece of furniture or choke on food they grab off another child’s plate at daycare than to overheat in a car in a few minutes time. I’m really not sure why people are so fixated on this situation as so dangerous. Life is inherently dangerous, but we assess risk and find a way to figure it out. I think many people on this thread are being incredibly hypocritical here.

Because it's easy to take your child out of the car fir a trip to the ATM. Meanwhile, it's hard to structure your life in such a way that your child is never in a car/susceptible to a car accident. Life is dangerous, yes. No one is denying that by saying not to take a completely unnecessary risk.

It’s not necessarily easy to take your child out of the car to go to an ATM, and doing so isn’t necessarily safer than leaving them in the car. I have a 5 year old with special needs that is a severe elopement risk. He’s not going to reliably stand by my side at an ATM. The risk of him running off into road is much greater than the risk something is going to happen to him in the car. And when he and his twin sibling were younger, but old enough to be out of carrying car seats, it would be very hard to take them out of the car. I'm not going to set up a tandem stroller to go 10ft. I'd leave one in the car while I'd carry the other into the house. And yes, I'd leave them in the car to walk up to an ATM as long as I could still see them.

This. It’s not always easy to get your kid out of the car to run a quick errand. What about stopping somewhere to pick up two heavy bags that need to be loaded into your trunk? Do you need to get a sleeping baby out of the car and into a carrier to complete this task?

Also, if going to an ATM poses such a high risk of being robbed, what god does bringing your baby do? Say you take the car seat out of the car and carry it over to the ATM. You will need to put car seat down to use the machine. Can’t someone come grab the car seat and run? Can’t the rob you right there next to your baby? Wouldn’t you rather your baby be safely in the car in the extremely remote chance this happens?

It’s just so weird that people in this thread are FREAKED OUT about the possibility of either a carjacking or a child overheating (rare things that are extremely unlikely to happen, especially if you know the crime rates in the neighborhood and are only gone a few minutes) but will handwave all the stuff that could happen if you get the baby out of the car.

I think people are uncomfortable with risk and think that if they are vigilant they can control it, but you can’t. Most actions carry some risk. You have to accept it and stop judging people for taking slightly different risks than you.

Those stories about people taking the car with the baby aren't about someone trying to kidnap the baby. Baby is incidental. The thief wants the car, sees the keys are in the car, and realizes the car can be taken easily and quickly. They don't know the baby is in the car.

I agree this is rare, but it's incorrect to compare it to someone kidnapping the baby next to you. That doesn’t happen.

The stolen car with a baby inside just happened in Rosslyn 2 days ago: https://www.arlnow.com/2022/08/29/new-car-stolen-from-rosslyn-with-child-inside-recovered-in-d-c/

Of course, if the parent had cranked down the windows a bit and turned off/locked the car it wouldn't have happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did a lot of mental gymnastics to make things OK when I was exhausted and desperately trying to accomplish basic tasks without complications. Leaving baby in the car is not one of those things that’s ok.

I cried every time the gas pump said see attendant. I’d drive elsewhere. Take a longer route to a drive up atm. Starbucks. Library book drop off.

You cried because it was unsafe to leave your baby in the car for 45 seconds, to walk 15 feet to the gas station attendant? No, you cried because you felt you were not allowed to do that and that someone would call the police on you (even though it wouldn’t have been illegal in many states). It’s not the situation that’s unsafe, it’s the crazy nosy cruel people who make it their jobs to make life harder for moms of babies, as some sort of garden of Eden type punishment.

Do you know that some moms SLEEP while their babies are asleep, and are like 50 feet away in an entirely different room? Ikr?!?

Are you even a parent? IDGAF about what anyone thinks. I’m not worried about cps because I’m not making self centered choice. Your examples are histrionic and your ton is garbage. I’m sorry your infant makes your skinny latte grabbing inconvenient I’m sorry your infant makes your skinny latte grabbing inconvenient. F off.