Krash-Out Patel is Directing Under the Influence
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Anonymous
| I can't wait till the members of the Liquor Cabinet get the heave ho. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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It's all these Maga frogs. Somehow someone sent around a memo to emphasize the eyes, but they misunderstood. EK, GayDee, TrashYep, and Bonj-EYE-na, to name a few. |
Anonymous
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Did Kash Patel’s Lawyers Have ChatGPT File A $250 Million Lawsuit?
It's not just a defamation suit; it's a bundle of AI cliches. https://abovethelaw.com/2026/04/did-kash-patels-lawyers-have-chatgpt-file-a-250-million-lawsuit/ Kash Patel’s massive lawsuit against The Atlantic asserts dubious defamation claims, but could it also be… AI slop? The $250 million complaint filed in D.C. federal court — a necessity to avoid the anti-SLAPP laws that would almost certainly make this a financial albatross for Patel down the road — largely underwhelmed. Irrelevant preening, misspellings, and a complete disregard for the looming “actual malice” roadblock made the complaint look less like a serious defamation claim and more a desperate performative plea to convince Donald Trump that Patel is “a fighter” who doesn’t deserve to be kicked to the curb like so many other scandal-plagued administration officials. Big Lie lawyer Jesse Binnall — who launched this case by promptly publicizing allegations that The Atlantic did NOT actually print, exposing his own client to claims they contend are defamatory — managed to get the lawsuit filed first thing on Monday. |
Anonymous
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https://abovethelaw.com/2026/04/kash-patels-250-million-defamation-lawsuit-looks-better-with-beer-goggles/
The Article’s assertions that Director Patel is “often away or unreachable,” causing delays that made agents “lose their shit,” and that he has “unexplained absences” and “spotty attendance at the office,” are false. Director Patel is at FBI headquarters nearly every single day, and when he is not at headquarters, he is visiting field offices—which he has done more frequently than any of his predecessors, a fact independently verifiable through his public social media account that Defendants were specifically directed to review. Which field office is in the Olympics locker room? Also, presumably the FBI keeps better records of the director’s location than relying on what he posts on Twitter. A serious defamation complaint — one not rushed out on Monday morning to keep ahead of the news cycle — might include detailed claims of his whereabouts throughout his tenure, with an implied promise that this itinerary comes from official FBI records that will back up all these dates in discovery. This complaint is loosey-goosey by any standard, and notably underwhelming coming from a government official whose daily activity is tracked. Furthermore, Director Patel has taken significantly fewer personal days than either of his two immediate predecessors. In calendar year 2025, Director Patel took approximately 17 personal days—fewer than Director Wray averaged in any single year of his 7.5-year tenure, during which Wray accumulated roughly 242 personal days (including approximately 37 in 2024 alone, 31 in 2023, and 33 in 2022). Director Comey likewise took approximately 130 personal days over his 4-year tenure, including roughly 63 in 2014 and 42 in 2015, when he routinely traveled home to New York every weekend or every other weekend. Put simply, Director Patel’s personal-day usage in 2025 is less than half of Wray’s yearly average and a small fraction of Comey’s peak years. If this is true, then is he counting the private jet trips to golf in Scotland, going to concerts with his girlfriend, and the aforementioned Olympics trip as official business? Because, like, that would be worse. He gets that that would be worse, right? |
Anonymous
Federal judge just tossed this one. 
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Anonymous
 Unfair to Kashyap! 
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Anonymous
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The defamation lawsuit filed by Patel was promptly dismissed:
Court Watch @courtwatch.bsky.social · 2h New — a federal judge has dismissed a defamation lawsuit filed by FBI Director Kadh Patel against a former FBI agent/cable news commentator storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us... #38 in Patel v. Figliuzzi (S.D. Tex., 4:25-cv-02548) – CourtListener.com MEMORANDUM OPINION AND ORDER Granting 25 Opposed MOTION TO DISMISS FOR FAILURE TO STATE A CLAIM (Signed by Judge George C Hanks, Jr) Parties notified. (knp4) (Entered: 04/21/2026) storage.courtlistener.com |
Anonymous
Yep, the complaint absolutely wasn't written as a genuine complaint, it was written as a publicity piece. The preening in the complaint is massively unprofessional for an attorney. Of course, the actual malice standard and higher evidentiary burden make this a non starter. |
Anonymous
That’s a different one, but this one is likely to suffer the same fate. |
Anonymous
+1 The one one thrown out is not against the Atlantic, but it's a preview of what will happen. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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Keg Patel's defamation lawsuit against CNBC commentator was dismissed by a Houston federal judge. This is the same thing that will happen to his latest defamation lawsuit.
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/21/kash-patel-fbi-defamation-lawsuit-figliuzzi-dismissed.html |