Two entrees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a stupid troll post with so much of sock puppeting.

Haven't read all the pages. Is that what's going on. OP Troll just keeps feeding the machine with outlandish comments and upgrading the FIL lunacy.

LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can’t imagine how frustrating this is. But this is definitely disordered eating. He clearly has emotional food issues. I’m not sure how best to proceed. It’s obnoxious he doesn’t offer to contribute financially when he wants to eat 2-3x standard portions

I totally agree with you. It’s disordered eating and I want to say almost a little bit of senility. One one hand I feel so bad for him, but on the other he’s just really irritating.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a stupid troll post with so much of sock puppeting.

Haven't read all the pages. Is that what's going on. OP Troll just keeps feeding the machine with outlandish comments and upgrading the FIL lunacy.

LOL.

This is a confusing response. I don’t think it’s funny either.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would irritate me in so many small ways.

1. He shouldn't be eating that much, honestly. Restaurant dishes are usually higher in calories than their home-made counterparts.

2. Try something radical. When he visits, don't go out to eat. Cook at home, or order less-expensive take-out. Tell him you're on a budget, even if it's not true. Watch him struggle with that, then when he's not around, splurge!

Op here with an update. FIL came for Easter. To say he was infuriating was a huge understatement. Wallet stayed firmly in his back pocket but he was full of suggestions about where he wanted to go (meaning where he wanted us to treat him).

I took the advice of many like this PP and got takeout the Saturday before Easter. First of all, he insisted on ordering multiple entrees because “nothing tastes better than leftovers”. I ignored him and ordered one entree per adult, one of the appetizers he ordered, and didn’t order dessert at all. Fil did not offer to pay. When the food arrived, he ripped the bags from my husbands hands immediately started serving himself. He didn’t even wait for everyone to get to the table before he was gobbling. By the time we managed to sit down he had consumed two entrees completely and was working on the one he ordered. There was nothing really left for my husband and I to eat, and FIL said well i ordered two entrees and a bunch of apps but it looks like the restaurant didn’t put them in the bag!! My husband through clenched teeth told him to please wait for everyone to sit down before eating and for the love of God each person is entitled to eat the entree they ordered. He looked utterly wounded and tearful, but did not offer to pay or apologize. He spent the rest of Saturday sulking.

Do I think he learned his lesson? No because my kids caught him eating out of their Easter baskets. He then asked me where the leftover candy went, and I had to tell him that the Easter bunny brought the baskets not me. My kids definitely now know there is no such thing as the easter bunny.

Team FIL !

Yeah! The selfish pig really showed them good! Eating all the Easter meal takeout himself before anyone even sat down.

What a royal @$$. I’d never host him again in my home or at a restaurant.

That or I’d set aside $500 a year and call it the Pig Fund. And that’s be the only gift he ever got. Any meal and his “multiple orders” would get deducted from the Pig Fund (and tax and tip) and then it’d be over. No more money pops.

PIG FUND! Hahahahaha I love you so much.

op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I a jerk for getting annoyed that FIL orders two entrees, an appetizer, and a dessert every time we pay the restaurant bill?

My husband and I are both feds and make a nice living but live pretty frugally since we have two kids with lots of expenses. Every time we visit our father in law who lives across the country or when he visits here, FIL insists we pay for everything. I find this annoying because FIL is wealthy (my husband has seen his financial records) and he brags about things like never flying economy when he visits Europe (which happens at least once a year).

FIL rarely pays for anything, ever except maybe the occasional fast food lunch where won’t let the kids order happy meals because they’re “too expensive”. I don’t know why this bugs me so much but it does. I have never seen anyone order two entrees at once. Is this normal? No he’s not fat, just chubby.

My BIL would do the same thing if we were footing the bill. One to two appetizers and two entrees of the most expensive things on the menu, then he'd take it to go. It's rude, so either stop paying for him or let it go.

My MIL, who never goes out to dinner with FIL, does the same thing when houseguesting with us.
Most expensive thing in the menu (they both aim for this), drinks, appetizers, desserts, pies and muffins to go, etc. She turns to my kids and asks if they are going to get more desserts or muffins to go too. My kids are athletes and look at her like she’s nuts. And a cheapwad.

It’s like a sport to see how much they can make someone else pay for them.

She’s even declared that as she never tells us how long or how many days or weeks they’re coming to visit. She said: “We have to make it worth our while.”

Best I can come up with is her goal is to eat 5x the value of their flight costs on us.

Op here. I wonder if it’s senility. Or like early senile behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then once a trip FIL pre-announcing he will pay for the kids ice cream or the lunch. And they both order soup. Then at our turn to pay lunch it’s 4 courses plus the dessert stand in a pie box.

Usually FIL will offer to pay for McDonald’s but won’t let the kids get happy meals because they’re “too expansive”. Okay.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what was this FIL like for your husband re food growing up?

In the last 5/10 years, has he always been like this?

DH says that food has been an issue for his dad for his entire life. My mother in law would really hit the brakes for my father in law, cutting him off from ordering multiple entrees/desserts etc. I remember once going to a buffet with MIL & FIL where MIL cut him off after two helpings of food. FIL definitely has issues.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a stupid troll post with so much of sock puppeting.

No sock puppeting, since I have better things to do that post nasty things on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t your DH speak to him??

He did and his father felt attacked and got very weepy. It was absurd.
Op

[Anonymous]

The only thing to conclude is that it’s serious mental illness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And from some of the posts that I read, you sound exactly like the white savior poster who vacationed in a 3rd world country and posted pictures of their lifestyle.

I’m not white, but thanks for your implied racism. Also I don’t spend all my time here so I don’t know the post you’re discussing.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would irritate me in so many small ways.

1. He shouldn't be eating that much, honestly. Restaurant dishes are usually higher in calories than their home-made counterparts.

2. Try something radical. When he visits, don't go out to eat. Cook at home, or order less-expensive take-out. Tell him you're on a budget, even if it's not true. Watch him struggle with that, then when he's not around, splurge!

Op here with an update. FIL came for Easter. To say he was infuriating was a huge understatement. Wallet stayed firmly in his back pocket but he was full of suggestions about where he wanted to go (meaning where he wanted us to treat him).

I took the advice of many like this PP and got takeout the Saturday before Easter. First of all, he insisted on ordering multiple entrees because “nothing tastes better than leftovers”. I ignored him and ordered one entree per adult, one of the appetizers he ordered, and didn’t order dessert at all. Fil did not offer to pay. When the food arrived, he ripped the bags from my husbands hands immediately started serving himself. He didn’t even wait for everyone to get to the table before he was gobbling. By the time we managed to sit down he had consumed two entrees completely and was working on the one he ordered. There was nothing really left for my husband and I to eat, and FIL said well i ordered two entrees and a bunch of apps but it looks like the restaurant didn’t put them in the bag!! My husband through clenched teeth told him to please wait for everyone to sit down before eating and for the love of God each person is entitled to eat the entree they ordered. He looked utterly wounded and tearful, but did not offer to pay or apologize. He spent the rest of Saturday sulking.

Do I think he learned his lesson? No because my kids caught him eating out of their Easter baskets. He then asked me where the leftover candy went, and I had to tell him that the Easter bunny brought the baskets not me. My kids definitely now know there is no such thing as the easter bunny.

I don't think I would have him back again.

I don’t want to have him back again. Since he’s family I know I will but I’m so angry with him right now.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be so tempted to call him out some way like “John, when Child A went out to eat with Best Friend, they ordered two entrees along with more food and the parents called me extremely upset to have to foot the bill for this gluttony. We cannot have you demonstrate this behavior for the children.”

This is a really good idea because for all of his faults, FIL does love the kids. I like this idea. I’m gonna think about how I can word it.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing to conclude is that it’s serious mental illness

I think you’re right.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what was this FIL like for your husband re food growing up?

In the last 5/10 years, has he always been like this?

DH says that food has been an issue for his dad for his entire life. My mother in law would really hit the brakes for my father in law, cutting him off from ordering multiple entrees/desserts etc. I remember once going to a buffet with MIL & FIL where MIL cut him off after two helpings of food. FIL definitely has issues.

Op

OP, I really doubt you're going to end a lifelong binge eating disorder with a firm conversation. Either make your peace with paying for him to binge, or your DH has to step up in a very significant way and assertively manage the ordering and the eating of takeout. Because this isn't going to change.