Preschool vs Daycare Wars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread explains so much. I had the most confusing conversation with someone a while back where I mentioned my kid was in preschool but then went on to say I needed to find childcare as I was returning to work. The mom kept saying she managed to work full time and just use preschool and was saying things like “you just have to manage your time wisely”. It was a short convo so I just nodded by head and smiled but was so confused as to how she was working F/T with 10 hours of daycare as childcare. She must have thought by preschool I was referring to full time childcare.

Anyway, I can’t believe this is a controversial topic, I personally call my kids center daycare to others but school to the kids. It’s a daycare with preschool/educational programming for the 3+ crowd.

This thread brought me some clarity on a weird situation too. It has been a while but I remember an in law cousin asking about what the kids do (I sahm so you know everyone wants accounting of your hours) and I said they were going to preschool and she said "you mean daycare" and I was like ugh, I guess some people are just insufferable and don't think preschool counts as real school. It was part of the name and 9-1. There was only a few sahms but mostly work at home parents, nannies or grandparents at pick up. She wondered what I did with all that free time and I chalked that up to resentment. Now I think there was more nuance than my assuming she didn't know about the benefits of preschool.
Despite hours, it makes sense to call daycare preschool after a certain age. If a daycare isn't teaching age appropriate things like manners, shapes, ABCs, numbers... I doubt they would stay in business and it makes sense for the kids to call it preschool to differentiate learning expectations and give them a sense of leveling up as a step towards school. I never once had anyone in town dispute or debate the labeling of daycare or preschool so I think it may be a contention in very different circles and I just happened to come across one of them at a family event.

Pp. I think you are right about this being a point of contention for a fairly small group. When I was a sahm I really had no idea about the specifics around various childcare options and, now that I work, I just call my childcare daycare out of habit and never put much thought into it. I find most of my friends talk about school and daycare interchangeably and I can’t imagine anyone, sahm or working, feeling strongly about this to the point that they are correcting other people.

[Anonymous]

In fourteen pages not one single poster who is wrapped around the idea of a difference has been able to articulate why they care what someone else calls the place their child spends time. Not one. Plenty of “here’s why my way is right” but not one solitary “here’s why it matters what you call your way”.

That’s how you know this is about people needing validation and false hierarchies not an actual issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In fourteen pages not one single poster who is wrapped around the idea of a difference has been able to articulate why they care what someone else calls the place their child spends time. Not one. Plenty of “here’s why my way is right” but not one solitary “here’s why it matters what you call your way”.

That’s how you know this is about people needing validation and false hierarchies not an actual issue.

Because most sane people don't care even if they think there's a difference. Give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s all blurry. But the best part-time preschools (nonprofits governed by boards) have very little in common with daycare, and that’s why people pay so much $$ for it plus nanny or sahm.

At our school, the entire operation is focused on 2.5-5/6 year olds, including professional development, facilities, special events, etc. There is no napping, allowing parents to handle sleep as they prefer. No meals are served allowing much greater control over nutrition. Our kids had the same cohort and teacher team for three years. (No one is shifting between classes based on potty training status.) This allowed them to build deep relationships and alums are devoted to the place. There is a clear pedagogy that everyone is on board with, and parents can participate in class on a weekly basis (at least).

I get that it sounds pretentious and dcum will say it’s about pathetic sahm’s needing control, but in reality it’s meeting kids in the most age-appropriate way, and it’s a shame that it’s so expensive and rare.

Also, about a third of the parents go on to public elementary—for most this is not about feeding into elite privates. They’re willing to deal with the cost for these early years, even when dcps offers free preschool.

This absolutely sounds like daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never correct someone in real life but I do always have the fleeting thought that it’s a bit pathetic when parents of daycare-age kids call it “school.” Makes me think they are in denial about sending kids to daycare, which I think is ridiculous because I fully support women working. It’s just the dishonesty that bothers me.

Whatever makes you feel better/superior about being a stay at home mom...

I’m not, though. Just haven’t reached age of baby to enroll yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never correct someone in real life but I do always have the fleeting thought that it’s a bit pathetic when parents of daycare-age kids call it “school.” Makes me think they are in denial about sending kids to daycare, which I think is ridiculous because I fully support women working. It’s just the dishonesty that bothers me.

Whatever makes you feel better/superior about being a stay at home mom...

I’m not, though. Just haven’t reached age of baby to enroll yet.

Run along then, let the experienced parents talk here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In fourteen pages not one single poster who is wrapped around the idea of a difference has been able to articulate why they care what someone else calls the place their child spends time. Not one. Plenty of “here’s why my way is right” but not one solitary “here’s why it matters what you call your way”.

That’s how you know this is about people needing validation and false hierarchies not an actual issue.

+1

I truly wish I wasn’t mildly addicted to reading all the drivel produced here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In fourteen pages not one single poster who is wrapped around the idea of a difference has been able to articulate why they care what someone else calls the place their child spends time. Not one. Plenty of “here’s why my way is right” but not one solitary “here’s why it matters what you call your way”.

That’s how you know this is about people needing validation and false hierarchies not an actual issue.

+1

I truly wish I wasn’t mildly addicted to reading all the drivel produced here.

🤣 yep me too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In fourteen pages not one single poster who is wrapped around the idea of a difference has been able to articulate why they care what someone else calls the place their child spends time. Not one. Plenty of “here’s why my way is right” but not one solitary “here’s why it matters what you call your way”.

That’s how you know this is about people needing validation and false hierarchies not an actual issue.

Because most sane people don't care even if they think there's a difference. Give it up.

Actually most people do seem to care. Hence the 14 pages.

There was a big debate in my moms group this week too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference. Daycare is childcare for parents’ working hours, and something I consider is for infants/ babies/ young toddlers. A preschool program is… not that. Though a daycare could have a preschool program for their age 3+ learners! Also, I have no problem calling any of the daycare workers teachers (I’m sure they’re teaching the alphabet/ counting/ social skills etc.), but to the pp that said someone with a degree in early childhood development is a teacher, that’s a very different program than early childhood education (where they learn curriculum & instruction, pedagogy, the science of reading, etc.). In my experience, friends that sent their 9 month olds to daycare and called it school just wanted to feel better about sending their kids to daycare. Ps- there’s nothing wrong with daycare!! It’s not a bad thing! Just silly to act like your young baby is learning a curriculum and it’s not just childcare.

This is a good distinction. Why would anyone assume that a 12 month old would be in preschool? Daycare is all day childcare. Preschool is a few hours during the day 2-5x/week where the structure and focus is early childhood education. When someone says they’re picking their 4 year old up from preschool at 5:30 pm it’s clear that they’re referring to daycare.

This is so ridiculous. At 3 and 4 my kids went to DCPS preschool and after care, in an elementary school building, with a curriculum, taught by DCPS teachers. I picked them up at 5:30. Is it okay with you if I call it preschool?

[Anonymous]

All the part time preschools in my Silver Spring neighborhood have 2s programs. Usually not even 5 days a week and morning only. Not sure what folks want people to call that lol.

[Anonymous]

I only think it’s weird if the child in question is under two. No, your 13 month old does not go to “school.” After two, call it whatever you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In fourteen pages not one single poster who is wrapped around the idea of a difference has been able to articulate why they care what someone else calls the place their child spends time. Not one. Plenty of “here’s why my way is right” but not one solitary “here’s why it matters what you call your way”.

That’s how you know this is about people needing validation and false hierarchies not an actual issue.

Because most sane people don't care even if they think there's a difference. Give it up.

Actually most people do seem to care. Hence the 14 pages.

There was a big debate in my moms group this week too.

That is not evidence that most people care. That is just a few people on DCUM posting over and over again, agreeing with themselves and attacking those who don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never correct someone in real life but I do always have the fleeting thought that it’s a bit pathetic when parents of daycare-age kids call it “school.” Makes me think they are in denial about sending kids to daycare, which I think is ridiculous because I fully support women working. It’s just the dishonesty that bothers me.

I have a 10mo old and we call it 'school'. Who cares. It is school for him. He will still be going there when he is in pre-k so it will be school then too. When would you switch calling it daycare to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only think it’s weird if the child in question is under two. No, your 13 month old does not go to “school.” After two, call it whatever you like.

Please be the one person who explains why you care!!