Meghan Markle and Prince Harry News and Updates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with you. The blogger Harry Markle dissects the whole article. Why does she have to tell people to ask others if they are ok. If you know someone suffered a miscarriage or other tragedy, you already know they are not ok, so it would be silly to ask. Harry Markle points this out. Also, she comments that there is no stigma or shame to miscarriage. She also notes that in July, hospitals were not allowing people to have visitors with them so how was Harry there too? It’s an interesting perspective.

Generally speaking, it’s bad form to ask someone how they are or if they are okay when you know they aren’t. Specifically, you don’t ask your friend if they are okay or how they are doing when their mom just died or they were just diagnosed with breast cancer or if they just miscarried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with this poster. I am sorry for her loss (having suffered miscarriages myself, I understand what pain she and her husband must have gone through), but I don't like that she is using her miscarriage to start some sort of movement around "are you ok?" It doesn't seem genuine. Meanwhile, Chrissy Tiegen, for example, shared her loss immediately and very publicly and explained her motive behind doing so. And then she disappeared for a month. It seemed genuine, authentic, was not meant to serve any purpose but her own grieving (and again, she explained it). She wasn't trying to start some sort of movement with her announcement as far as I know. Other celebrities have made similar announcements like the one PP said above, and asked for privacy usually. I'm not comparing levels of loss here. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter how far along you were. I'm just questioning motive, especially since it's been months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

Why would you think miscarriages are stigmatized......and by whom exactly? And yes, one would assume that a miscarriage is a painful, personal matter and not something that should warrant a press release.

Well if this thread is anything, sharing your miscarriage doesn’t get you much sympathy.

Most people don't share their miscarriage in a publicity stunt of an essay that sounds like a 22 year old wrote it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's a self-absorbed sociopath. A chemical pregnancy != losing a child. She's a deeply mentally ill person and I mean that very sincerely.

She had a miscarriage. Do you even know what a chemical pregnancy is? It's when you test positive, then negative. That is different from a miscarriage. I've had both. I grieved a lot more over the miscarriage than a chemical pregnancy. I don't like MM, but I think YOU are the one that is mentally ill here, crazy lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

Why would you think miscarriages are stigmatized......and by whom exactly? And yes, one would assume that a miscarriage is a painful, personal matter and not something that should warrant a press release.

Well if this thread is anything, sharing your miscarriage doesn’t get you much sympathy.

Most people don't share their miscarriage in a publicity stunt of an essay that sounds like a 22 year old wrote it.

22? More like 16.

[Anonymous]

You guys!! Her only wish is that she could go back in time and ask that sobbing woman in NYC if she is ok!

Meghan is a modern day Mother Theresa!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with this poster. I am sorry for her loss (having suffered miscarriages myself, I understand what pain she and her husband must have gone through), but I don't like that she is using her miscarriage to start some sort of movement around "are you ok?" It doesn't seem genuine. Meanwhile, Chrissy Tiegen, for example, shared her loss immediately and very publicly and explained her motive behind doing so. And then she disappeared for a month. It seemed genuine, authentic, was not meant to serve any purpose but her own grieving (and again, she explained it). She wasn't trying to start some sort of movement with her announcement as far as I know. Other celebrities have made similar announcements like the one PP said above, and asked for privacy usually. I'm not comparing levels of loss here. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter how far along you were. I'm just questioning motive, especially since it's been months.

The other difference with Chrissy Teigen is that people knew she was pregnant and that she was experiencing complications starting at around 19/20 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with you. The blogger Harry Markle dissects the whole article. Why does she have to tell people to ask others if they are ok. If you know someone suffered a miscarriage or other tragedy, you already know they are not ok, so it would be silly to ask. Harry Markle points this out. Also, she comments that there is no stigma or shame to miscarriage. She also notes that in July, hospitals were not allowing people to have visitors with them so how was Harry there too? It’s an interesting perspective.

Generally speaking, it’s bad form to ask someone how they are or if they are okay when you know they aren’t. Specifically, you don’t ask your friend if they are okay or how they are doing when their mom just died or they were just diagnosed with breast cancer or if they just miscarried.

Asking how someone is feeling - “How are you feeling?” or “How can I help?” is fine. Those questions give space to the honest answers, which are often “I’m really struggling.” When I experienced a loss I appreciated the couple of friends who checked in. But asking someone

“Are you OK?” is so superficial. And it’s a yes/no answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with this poster. I am sorry for her loss (having suffered miscarriages myself, I understand what pain she and her husband must have gone through), but I don't like that she is using her miscarriage to start some sort of movement around "are you ok?" It doesn't seem genuine. Meanwhile, Chrissy Tiegen, for example, shared her loss immediately and very publicly and explained her motive behind doing so. And then she disappeared for a month. It seemed genuine, authentic, was not meant to serve any purpose but her own grieving (and again, she explained it). She wasn't trying to start some sort of movement with her announcement as far as I know. Other celebrities have made similar announcements like the one PP said above, and asked for privacy usually. I'm not comparing levels of loss here. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter how far along you were. I'm just questioning motive, especially since it's been months.

The other difference with Chrissy Teigen is that people knew she was pregnant and that she was experiencing complications starting at around 19/20 weeks.

In the real world, some women absolutely are still judged for having miscarriages. There’s a lot of judgement and even women who are shunned, abused, and divorced. And there’s a lot of judgement of women who miscarry if they didn’t do everything right: they exercised or didn’t exercise, they kept working in a stressful job, they are a salad, they were too thin or too fat at conception.

My former FIL planted a tree for every miscarried child in his immediate family that he knew of —except mine. Still not sure what I did (or didn’t do) in his opinion that disqualified me from his grief. But, yeah, I was judged and found lacking. This is right here in this immediate area in the early 2000s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who don’t like the MC essay are not a monolith. I don’t hate MM and have previously been horrified by the vitriol at her on this thread. The first couple times I posted here, multiple people accused me of being a PR flak just because I had mildly nice things to say about her.

And I’m very sorry for her loss. Miscarriage is so hard. I also know the pain of marrying and starting a family later in life and wondering if it’s too late. It’s really tough.

But wow that op-ed bothered me. It just felt so tone-deaf and unaware. There is so much loss and grief in the world right now. Had she posted this to her social media or a general interest outlet, I don’t think I would have reacted this way. But while miscarriage is something we should talk about, it’s not news and it’s not a social problem to solve. It just is. There’s no public policy related to MC that needs to be promoted, no money that needs to be raised to prevent or address MC. They just happen.

It is weird to me that MM had an opportunity to write an op-ed in the NYT, a privilege few are afforded, and she chose to talk about a private grief about which nothing much can be done. And she did it in the middle of a public health emergency and at a time when black maternal mortality is a huge problem in the US.

Tone-deaf.

+1

Well said

It would be like if I wrote a NYT op-ed this week on losing my uncle to cancer earlier this year and kind of loosely tied it to the pandemic. I’m sure people would feel bad for my grief but... what would be the point? My uncle didn’t die of Covid and making that link feels opportunistic at best. His death was and is painful and sad for our family. But many people have lost loved ones this year. It would be such a weird choice to highlight my grief as though it somehow encompasses and reflects everyone else’s. It doesn’t. It’s just mine.

People are still allowed to grieve —even publicly—losses that are not due to Covid. John Lewis and RBQ. We grieved as a nation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with this poster. I am sorry for her loss (having suffered miscarriages myself, I understand what pain she and her husband must have gone through), but I don't like that she is using her miscarriage to start some sort of movement around "are you ok?" It doesn't seem genuine. Meanwhile, Chrissy Tiegen, for example, shared her loss immediately and very publicly and explained her motive behind doing so. And then she disappeared for a month. It seemed genuine, authentic, was not meant to serve any purpose but her own grieving (and again, she explained it). She wasn't trying to start some sort of movement with her announcement as far as I know. Other celebrities have made similar announcements like the one PP said above, and asked for privacy usually. I'm not comparing levels of loss here. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter how far along you were. I'm just questioning motive, especially since it's been months.

The other difference with Chrissy Teigen is that people knew she was pregnant and that she was experiencing complications starting at around 19/20 weeks.

Oh so we are really going to act like there wasn’t a thread viciously attacking Chrissy Teigen about posting her miscarriage. Ripping her apart about posting pictures. Calling her a horrible human being, tone deaf, old, vapid and plenty more insults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with you. The blogger Harry Markle dissects the whole article. Why does she have to tell people to ask others if they are ok. If you know someone suffered a miscarriage or other tragedy, you already know they are not ok, so it would be silly to ask. Harry Markle points this out. Also, she comments that there is no stigma or shame to miscarriage. She also notes that in July, hospitals were not allowing people to have visitors with them so how was Harry there too? It’s an interesting perspective.

Generally speaking, it’s bad form to ask someone how they are or if they are okay when you know they aren’t. Specifically, you don’t ask your friend if they are okay or how they are doing when their mom just died or they were just diagnosed with breast cancer or if they just miscarried.

Asking how someone is feeling - “How are you feeling?” or “How can I help?” is fine. Those questions give space to the honest answers, which are often “I’m really struggling.” When I experienced a loss I appreciated the couple of friends who checked in. But asking someone

“Are you OK?” is so superficial. And it’s a yes/no answer.

+1
For those that asked that, when obviously I wasn’t, I had no idea how to respond. I lost a loved one obviously I’m not ok? What do you think? I said , not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with this poster. I am sorry for her loss (having suffered miscarriages myself, I understand what pain she and her husband must have gone through), but I don't like that she is using her miscarriage to start some sort of movement around "are you ok?" It doesn't seem genuine. Meanwhile, Chrissy Tiegen, for example, shared her loss immediately and very publicly and explained her motive behind doing so. And then she disappeared for a month. It seemed genuine, authentic, was not meant to serve any purpose but her own grieving (and again, she explained it). She wasn't trying to start some sort of movement with her announcement as far as I know. Other celebrities have made similar announcements like the one PP said above, and asked for privacy usually. I'm not comparing levels of loss here. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter how far along you were. I'm just questioning motive, especially since it's been months.

The other difference with Chrissy Teigen is that people knew she was pregnant and that she was experiencing complications starting at around 19/20 weeks.

Oh so we are really going to act like there wasn’t a thread viciously attacking Chrissy Teigen about posting her miscarriage. Ripping her apart about posting pictures. Calling her a horrible human being, tone deaf, old, vapid and plenty more insults.

Not sure. Do you think Lena Dunham felt pk after reading the comments about her piece here? Bitches gonna bitch, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have strong feelings about Meghan, and I am probably sensitive right now given what has gone on in my family during the pandemic, but I don’t like that she kept writing that she lost a child. A family member lost a child this month- the pain of that is nothing compared to a miscarriage. I don’t appreciate that language at all.

+1 An early miscarriage is sad but not the same. I know very few women with kids who haven't had one, and I don't believe there is a stigma about it. Some wanted to discuss it and some didn't, but that had to do with temperament not stigma. That said, after the first trimester is very tough, and Chrissy Teigen lost a child not a fetus.

I agree. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and yes, it was very sad, but I'm irritated by everyone comparing her loss to Chrissy Tiegen, who had a stillbirth, and held her baby in her arms.

And Chrissy Tiegen has defended her bc while you posters want to compare levels of miscarriages, other people just want to be sympathetic.

One can be sympathetic to her loss AND still believe penning a PR stunt essay in the NYT is crass given the obvious motive here is to sway public opinion about herself.

She never announced a pregnancy, yet she felt compelled to announce a MC. Why?

You and your tribe of posters aren’t actually sympathetic to her loss. That is pretty clear.

And according to posters on DCUM and the world, miscarriages should be announced in order to take stigma away and to help others going through similar losses. However, it also seems on DCUM, that only certain miscarriages matter and only certain people can announce they’ve suffered one. Oh and now let’s throw in, if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, you cannot announce a miscarriage.

I think you are making some rather misinformed leaps, pp.

I am sympathetic to her loss. I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including one at 11.5 weeks which was the hardest).

I don’t believe there is any stigma related to MC. Stigma would mean women don’t share the loss with anyone out of fear of being judged negatively for what, exactly? Failure to carry full term? I mean, I know there was a stigma for that when queens failed to produce an heir (at least as portrayed on The Tudors and The Spanish Princess), but in the real world nobody judges women for suffering a MC.

Women don’t discuss this casually because it is personal and doesn’t come up in casual conversation—like most health issues. But, women do share this info if they’ve already announced a pregnancy or when it comes up (when a friend shares a MC, women share their own MC stories).

Most women share this info in person. I’ve never seen anyone share it on FB (I didn’t).

Again, women sympathize with MM for her loss. Most of us suffered at least 1 MC ourselves. We get it.

But, this thread isn’t judging the MC or her loss. Rather, it’s a group-cringe about how she penned an essay seemingly under the auspices of swaying public opinion about her.

She would have been better served by simply posting a very short statement on social media.

“Harry and I are saddened to share that our family suffered a miscarriage this summer. Our grief over the loss that so many others have experienced remind us that we are not alone.”

Had she said that—and only that—I think nobody would question her motive, and she would have received nothing but sympathy. For whatever reason, she goes too far and opens herself up to criticism.

I agree with this poster. I am sorry for her loss (having suffered miscarriages myself, I understand what pain she and her husband must have gone through), but I don't like that she is using her miscarriage to start some sort of movement around "are you ok?" It doesn't seem genuine. Meanwhile, Chrissy Tiegen, for example, shared her loss immediately and very publicly and explained her motive behind doing so. And then she disappeared for a month. It seemed genuine, authentic, was not meant to serve any purpose but her own grieving (and again, she explained it). She wasn't trying to start some sort of movement with her announcement as far as I know. Other celebrities have made similar announcements like the one PP said above, and asked for privacy usually. I'm not comparing levels of loss here. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter how far along you were. I'm just questioning motive, especially since it's been months.

The other difference with Chrissy Teigen is that people knew she was pregnant and that she was experiencing complications starting at around 19/20 weeks.

Oh so we are really going to act like there wasn’t a thread viciously attacking Chrissy Teigen about posting her miscarriage. Ripping her apart about posting pictures. Calling her a horrible human being, tone deaf, old, vapid and plenty more insults.

Not sure. Do you think Lena Dunham felt pk after reading the comments about her piece here? Bitches gonna bitch, right?

Pk=ok

[Anonymous]

The truth is that nobody gives damn if you or anyone else has a miscarriage.l