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Infertility Support and Discussion
Anyone marching forward TTC but scared/still questioning the major life change parenthood is?
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Anonymous
| Curious if I am alone. Spending loads of money TTC but at times get panicked about what parenthood is and scared to leave my old life behind. Bizarre! |
Anonymous
| I'm turning 33 this fall and still pondering TTC at all. No wisdom- but I can relate. I kind of wish I had 10 more years to decide, but clearly I don't. |
Anonymous
| This resonates with me as well. I can be all over the map. |
Anonymous
| Being a parent totally changes your life in ways you can't imagine. Free time is virtually gone and having any kind of a social life is impossible. That being said, it's all worth it. But I think if you're feeling this way, you might want to wait a little while longer. |
Anonymous
| I think being scared is normal. It's a huge change. We went through this. |
Anonymous
|
There are days I miss my old life. Sometimes, when people get together for dinner at 7:30 and I can't baby sitter....
But then when my daughter crawls into my lap and says "I love you mommy" - I think....I have the best life ever. You lose somethings, but you gain things too. |
Anonymous
Appreciate your perspective, though the OP did not exactly seem to be looking for advice here. Just for others who may feel the same way or have at times. At times, I feel strong in my conviction and at other times I feel really fearful about the bigness of the endeavor, which, at 41, I have enough life experience to be aware of. When you're 25-30, I think sometimes women just go with what they think they should be doing (society tells us we need to have kids) and do not have enough life experience to understand the implications of the choice. Additionally, older women have a very established life whereas 20-somethings can build in a child to establishing their lives. For me, at 41, "you might want to wait a little while longer" is very bad advice. Not sure how old the OP is. |
Anonymous
| I feel the same way as you, OP. On the bright side, after years of unsuccessful TTC and ART attempts, it was easy for me to come to terms that it was not meant to me as opposed to someone who don't see their life without children. |
Anonymous
| We decided to give it our all after 'do we don't we'. That was right for us. We also had Plan A, Plan B, Plan C - the idea was that we're having a family and we will make it happen. But, that was after 8 months of 'serious' TTC-ing (3 clinics, $$$). To me, infertility is like a broken leg, I know it's going to take doctors, casts, discomfort, PT, to heal. It's not like a rash I hope will go away if I leave it alone. But you need to decide how to describe and treat your situation. |
Anonymous
| Yes. |
Anonymous
| Yes, all the time and I have been pregnant, miscarried, done 4 IVF's with my own eggs and 1 donor cycle. Depending on the day, I want this more than anything and other days I think, WTF am I doing? |
Anonymous
| LOL to the PP. I feel the same way, and I'm $10k in so far. It is good to know I'm not alone or crazy. |
Anonymous
Well, I wasted at least $15K on fertility treatments and now think - how stupid was I? Should have spent this on a nice trip to Europe
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Anonymous
| All the time. Especially since having a baby isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Every month I (subconsciously) wonder if my ambivalence/nervousness/fear is why it's taking so long to get pregnant. |
Anonymous
|
Nah. I mean, women conceive under the most dire and stressful circumstances we can possibly imagine (I don't need to spell out some of those situations, I'm sure.)
The truth is, we don't have as much control over this as we might think. I really do believe that the acupunture and gulping of herbs and pills and such gives us not much beyond a feeling of control. It's just a matter of percentages. So give yourself a break and allow yourself to feel what you feel. I have this ambivalence quite often myself. You're not alone, OP! |