Please, Does Any of This Matter To You? My MIL is so strange.

[Anonymous]

Question #1

Do you put silverware into the dishwasher handle up or handle down? I put stuff in handle down, MIL thinks this is gross and always comments on how wrong it is. I wash my hands before unloading the washing machine and I don't handle the forks, spoons, parts we eat off of. I pull the container out, open it, and unload. This drives MIL insane.

Question #2

Do you really make a stink over which way the toilet paper roll is put onto to the roller? MIL changes my rolls if they are not consistent with her thinking each and every time she is over. She goes into every bathroom, even my master bath to switch the rolls if they aren't put on properly. Mind you, I am not the only person in the house. DH obviously wasn't taught the proper "way".

She also refolds my towels, rehangs my kitchen pot holders, repositions my plants, lines up dvds if one happens to be thicker or taller than the others (what?), and will pull my kids' clothes out of the closet and rehang them by color. She'll line up pasta boxes by size, restack cans by size, refluff curtains, make sure paintings are not slanted just to name a few of the odd things she does.

Some of it I ignore, but some of it's just NUTTERS.

[Anonymous]

#1). Putting the silverware handle down get's them much cleaner. Taking them out shouldn't be a problem as hand should be clean and anyway you don't have to touch the tines if it really matters, which it doesn't.

#2). The most popular question ever posed to Dear Abby was which way was the proper way to put in a roll of tp. People were completely divided on this and Aldo very passionate! Funny.

I have three thoughts about MIL. One is that I would love to have this done to my house because it is so nice to be organized and some people just understand how to do this better than others. Second, it is totally crossing a boundary for her to be doing this for you in your own house, ESP if you are not asking her to. She can do what she wants to in her own space, but it is rude of her to do it where you live. Third, it sounds as if she is OCD and so she feels some physical discomfort being around anything that is not organized to hernliking.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like more than just a quirk. OCD ?

[Anonymous]

I think she might be OCD. It sounds like you have a wonderful attitude and don't take it personally. Bravo to you. Would it help if you gave her something to do? Sort photos for an album, organize a kids closet. She might just like to be busy.

I would be a bitch if my MIL had tried to do that in my house. I was young and insecure. I really miss her now that she is gone.

[Anonymous]

She is out of line. It sounds like OCD.

[Anonymous]

I put silverware into the basket handle down because I read a book about cleaning and it said that the silverware would get cleaner that way. I doubt it matters all that much.

Most of that stuff, if she feels like doing it, I'd say sure, go ahead and straighten my DVDs, as long as she is just doing it and not complaining about how messy your house is. Refolding the towels would annoy me. You MIL sounds pretty annoying, but if those things are the worst things she does, it's not so bad, right? I'm pretty sure it drives both my mother and my DH's mother nuts to be at my house because I don't do things the "right" way.

[Anonymous]

Bring her to my house and drive her nuts -- I mix the utensils up -- knives down, spoons and forks up. Stuff isn't as bunched up in the bottom of the basket and truly does get cleaner (at least for me).

Another vote for OCD. What you are describing is beyond the norm.

[Anonymous]

Agreed that the MIL sounds borderline OCD - and second the kudos to OP if in fact this does not cause OP strife, but OP is able to laugh this off. Truthfully, I may be actually offended and bothered by this behavior... but really, if the behavior is not harming anyone, it's not something to get stressed over, right?

I could spend all day listing my MIL's quirks, and maybe she is similarly borderline OCD - but really, I can't stand her and I am offended by her behavior. I need to let it go... like OP seems to do!

[Anonymous]

My MIL was awesome. Seriously, I was so lucky to not have a shitty MIL. She accepted her son marrying a non-Jewish woman and took me in with open arms. Sadly she wasn't around for very long thereafter. People make jokes about how lucky I am to not have a terrible MIL...

That said, back to your question. I would say OCD or control freak.

[Anonymous]

I also have a great MIL - this would drive me batshit crazy. If someone changed my TP (not that I care which way it faces, but what I care about, is it's MY WAY).

Crazy lady.

[Anonymous]

OCD and I'd invite her over very often. I'd love someone to just fold towels and fix my DC's closet for me

[Anonymous]

I'll admit that I exhibit some OCD tendancies myself, but I would never do this in someone else's house! So yes, a little nutty, but she probably can't help it...as opposed to my mother in law who has a very untidy and cluttered house, yet oddly enough, likes to give me random cleaning tips. Yeah right, lady!

[Anonymous]

I bet the owner's manual for your dishwasher tells you to put the silverware in handle down. Show her.

What does your husband say about it? It is totally out of line for her to do this stuff in your house, maybe you can slip some kind of drugs into her coffee, because she probably can't help herself.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for OCD. If it really bugs you, have your DH talk to her about stopping. BTW, you should close your bedroom door when she is over and make it clear that she is not allowed to go in there - I mean what if she saw your collection of BDSM gear.

[Anonymous]

Lock her in your closet or office for a day and see hw organized it is when you let her out
Also, can I borrow her for a day too?