Forum Index
»
Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Does anyone else get bad reactions from telling nurses "no"?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I am getting really annoyed with the nurses in the OBs office. If I decline an exam or test they consider "routine", they get really snotty with me. I see a nurse practictioner and have seen a couple of the doctors on staff and they don't get nearly as upset about it.
I refused a breast exam and they sent in three separate nurses to tell me that I needed to take off my shirt. They told me that I "had to" have another pap even though I had one 6 mos ago. I refused an internal exam because it was a new (male) doc and they sent in the parade of bossy nurses again. They get really short with me when I don't comply. The NP and docs I have seen there don't seem stressed about me refusing some things, I would like to know what the nurses get in a bunch about it. I suppose this is good practice for a natural hospital birth, but is there any better way to handle the bossy nurse staff? |
Anonymous
| More curious than anything, why refuse a breast exam? I can see refusing a pap and internal, but I'm not readily seeing the refusal of the breast exam... |
Anonymous
| If it really bothers you, you may want to consider switching to a different practice. I had so-so experiences with my OB's office and switched to Midwifery Care Associates at 6 months. I like the "consultative" nature of the practice; I feel like we discuss options and the reasons for certain exams, and then we decide together what makes the most sense for me (and I have had some complications that warranted additional exams). Also, you mentioned possibly wanting a natural birth in a hospital setting, which may be easier to achieve with a midwife than with certain OBs. Good luck to you! |
Anonymous
| I've had some problems with nurses not liking my refusal of various options. The best position I've found is to be able to say that the doctor is fine with my decision or at least that I have discussed it with the doctor and the doctor knows of my decision. It sounds like somehow you are in a position where you don't get to discuss with a doctor beforehand? |
Anonymous
| I think you also have to look at yourself and ask why you are refusing routine medical care. What you may not realize is that doctors have liability to look at , and in the case of a breast exam, they don't want you to come back and say that your doctor was neglectful in picking up breast cancer. As for the pap--was it that office that did your pap? If not, they may want their own records esp. if you didn't supply records or the doctor may have ordered another for a specific reason. Rather than having your own bad attitude, I would just tell whatever nuse that was coming in that you are going to wait for doc before doing any tests. Then, talk to doc and if he or she feels they can't treat you due to your wanting to manage your own tests, you will have to understand and move on. I am sorry about being harsh but my brother and sister in law are in the medical field and say that today's patients are starting to think they have a medical license because they read the internet and or a few books and are hurting their own care. |
Anonymous
| I completely agree with the PP. These tests are intended to help you and keep you healthy, not pull one over on you. |
Anonymous
|
While personally, I would not have refused the breast exam... I disagree with the previous two posters in principle.
Sure, tests are designed to help you... but I think you have to realize (as your medical profession relatives certainly do), that MUCH of the U.S. practice of medicine is really determined by the insurance companies... not by doctors. Feebly permitting some health care professional to run UN-NEEDED repetitive tests on you is in no one's best interest... and barring some medical indication, a PAP test every 6 months is overkill. It is each patient's (or mother's) own call as to when enough is enough. If there is a really compelling reason why the medical professional wants to conduct some test, then he/she should have no problem explaining it to the patient. But at the end of the day, its the patient's body, and the patient's call. When I was 36 (or 38?) weeks pregnant, they started doing a cervix check at every visit. After 2, I got wise and said "no thanks". They wanted to see how I was progessing, I told them they'd be the first to know when I went into labor. Some of this stuff is just part of the medical culture of overkill here. |
Anonymous
|
Agreeing with 13:42, I have also found that when I talk with my OBs about why I might not want a particular test, they often agree. Doctors *assume* a woman wants her cervix checked every week toward the end but if you say no, and why, they agree with that decision! It has been eye-opening to have a doctor agree with my decisions to decline services a number of times.
Plus if you know that half of OBs do one thing and half don't, then it isn't crazy to do what the other half does. If I were a doctor I might not phrase every next step as an option, asking the patient if she wants it, because patients often just want to be told what they should or shouldn't do. That doesn't mean that doctors are actually recommending every action they consider routine. |
Anonymous
|
I refused the breast exam because my period was due and my breasts were really sore. I do my own monthly checks and I am only 30. The same office did the pap 6 mos ago. I have never had an abnormal pap and was told that I needed another in 2-3 years.
Routine does not equal necessary in my book. Why does everyone have to have an HIV test? I am not at risk for HIV. I don't use drugs and have been in the same, monogamous, lesbian relationship since I had the test with my last pregnancy. It is a waste of money. |
Anonymous
|
You wouldn't do very well with any of my doctors or nurses either...not sure where you would do well!
|
Anonymous
| I forgot to add that I am hiring a midwife for the delivery. The OB's office is just for prenatal care since my insurance doesn't cover any midwives in Maryland. |
Anonymous
With a doctor who thinks his/her patients have a brain and the right to control her own body? |
Anonymous
|
So, if you are in an ob's office, not pregnant, and refusing a pelvic and a breast exam....
What was the appointment for? To chat? (I can see why they wouldn't want to renew prescriptions without confirming your good health, so don't say "renew the scripts") |
Anonymous
I can't fathom why the OP's desire to have some choice in her healthcare causes this hostility. |
Anonymous
|
It isn't hostility you hear but confusion.
I really don't get it. What more is there for healthy women at an annual besides birth control, the pelvic, and the breast exam? |