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Does anyone else get bad reactions from telling nurses "no"?
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Anonymous
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She could have a lot of reasons for being there but birth control seems unlikely, given her later explanation that she is a lesbian. So she didn't want an internal exam with a new doctor she didn't know who was male. It's fair to prefer female docs, or docs you know, if you do.
Why do we need to know why she was there? She clearly didn't go just to chat. |
Anonymous
| Isn't it required to do the HIV and whole spectrum of STD tests now? That's how I understood it. |
Anonymous
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This is the OP. I refused the breast exam when I was there for a pre-pregnancy check up, the other visits were pregnancy appointments.
And our government cannot force medical care and nothing is actually "required". It is recommended by the CDC & Virginia state laws mandates that the docs recommend the testing to each pregnant patient, but no one can force it. I think the only exception to this is if a health care worker is accidently infected with your blood and wants to make sure that you don't have HIV or Hep. |
Anonymous
| So I realize that I have gone into a rant about the HIV testing. I agreed to the second test because the doc was getting annoyed and her wording made it sound mandatory. I felt a bit of distrust for her when I found out afterwards that it is not actually required. It is not on topic for the thread, it is just something that I am mad about that is on my mind. |
Anonymous
| I am curious why a breast exam would put you over the top--ditto an extra pap swear. Geez some people are worried that their doctors are not actually proactively looking for things. As for the poster who stated she was only 30 --my good friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at 26 and her "lump" was picked up at a routine breast exam--she is now alive and well--cancer free for ten years. I also know of another girl who was diagnosed with breast cancer at 28 and apparently didn't realize that the tiny "pimple" she had on her breast was actually a lump and she died after fighting the disease for many many years. |
Anonymous
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I explained why I didn't want the breast exam at that time. I am curious as to why anyone would agree to an unnecessary pap. I, for one, am not all that fond of strangers putting things my vagina. Why on earth would I agree to it if there was no need?
(The doctor also agreed there was no need, it was the nurses that were giving me a hard time.) |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm not a PP but perhaps I can shed some light on the pap smear confusion...since it literally takes 10 seconds to do a pap smear and abnormal, precancerous cells can start growing at any time on your cervix, I think of pap smears as something that is welcome as often as they'll offer me one. Unfortunately, my insurance only covers it once per year. I get that that's not the way you feel, but I guess many of us do. |
Anonymous
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PP, I hear you. Certainly, whatever you feel more comfortable with is between you and your doc and your own business. I feel like I should do what I am comfortable with.
I feel like this discussion has gotten off course. I really would like to know if there is a better way to handle the nurses at the OBs office, other than comply with all their wishes. Perhaps I should just have a chat with the NP and see if she can reign them in. I hate going in for my prenatal appointment and having to feel like I need to be defensive. It is my body and ultimately my decision. |
Anonymous
| Although I can't really relate to your desire to avoid medical procedures, I can certainly relate to communication problems with nurses and doctors. In my case, nurses have looked at me like I was crazy for asking "too many questions" about the labor process for my high-risk delivery. Rather than getting into an argument with them, I've looked at them as if talking to a friend and said, "I'm concerned about this because [x, y, z reasons) and I think that's understandable. If you look at it from my perspective, I think it seems reasonable." That way you're not attacking the nurses for insisting on something, but instead trying to get them to look at it through your eyes. This has always worked for me. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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OP I can relate a bit. When I was very pregnant in the hospital, waiting around for them to induce me, my feet were so swollen and itchy from being swollen. I had been using ice to take the itchiness away, and when I requested ice at the hospital...the only thing that would soothe it, one nurse refused. "Oh you don't need ice, just lift your feet up." I was going nuts all day long.
Then the second pregnancy, the day after I gave birth, they were offering pain pills...an OTC and percasets. I opted for the OTC's since I didn't feel I was in excruciating pain, and they kept pushing me to take the Percasets until I had to get snappy with them. Why do I need to take painkillers if I'm not in pain? The third instance I've seen is when my dad was in the hospital, they were going around giving everyone flu shots. Personally I am wary of the flu shot, as I'm wary of the newest vaccines that have not been on the market very long. I'm all for the ones that have been around for decades and tested well...but they did not give anyone a choice in the matter. I think if you have every right to choose who performs medical procedures on you...and if you didn't feel comfortable with that staff, they should try to understand why and not berate you for it. There are plenty of doctors who milk their patients for every billable procedure, needed or not. |
Anonymous
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Op, it sounds like you have a few choices here: 1) keep on as you have been doing; 2) speak to the NP and your OB and ask them to speak with the nurses; 3) find a practice with less attitude.
You can always try being extra nice and not "threatening" the nurses' "authority" even when you disagree and won't consent to the procedure. But really why bother -- that sounds exhausting and unnecessary. There are great medical professionals who recognize that there is no "right" way in treating patients; that many patients today are educated/have questions and the professional better be able to answer why such they are recommending a particular procedure and the risks/benefits of doing/not doing it; and that it's ultimately the patients' body and baby. |
Anonymous
OP is pregnant, btw. So, if it's that important to you -- why don't you pay for the test yourself and ask for one at every OB appointment? |
Anonymous
Gear down, turbo. I was just trying to give some perspective, not disagree with the OP at all. |
Anonymous
Dear OP: Snotty is NEVER good practice, for any type of business. It's a level of disrespect that you don't need--you're the client, you're in control of your body, and you most certainly have choices for health care. I am a childbirth educator and the only piece of advice I ever give to parents is: Trust those MamaBear instincts! If anything doesn't feel right--walk away like the 10:39 poster did. You have to be able to place a great amount of trust in your care providers, including staff, to birth confidently and free of fear. If the OBs are super supportive, that's one thing, but the staff's attitude can be indicative of the culture of the practice. I'm so glad to hear you'll be birthing with a midwife!
WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAH Mama! It's one thing for OBs or nurses to pressure mom into a submissive, patient role by stripping them of their decision-making, but I have not yet witnessed another mom degrading a pregnant woman's trust in her body and demoting her from healthy decision-maker to thoughtless patient. We healthy people don't need to give a reason for declining routine medical care--we're healthy! We need to be questioning routine prenatal and birth care more, not less! "Why would you decline an episiotomy? It's routine?" <--Is this what you would be asking us 10 years ago? |
Anonymous
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OP, it sounds like you don't belong in a traditional medical practice period. If you don't want preventative medical care, that's your prerogative, but insisting that medical professionals disregard the standards of care puts everyone in a problematic position, morally and legally. The doctors and nurses have a professional and legal responsibility to follow those standards, particularly when (as in HIV testing for pregnant women) there are state laws at stake. If you really believe that you know better, then what are you doing at a doctors' office? Presumably there are other avenues of health care for those who reject traditional medicine.
And honestly, declining an annual breast exam due to PMS soreness sounds a little diva-like. By that measure, should people who are uncomfortable with needles avoid all blood tests or IVs? From my perspective, having experienced cancer up-close and personally, I'll happily submit to any test that might prevent me from going through it. |