Taking DC1 to college this weekend - Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Taking my oldest to college this weekend. She is starting to get a little emotional, but I feel we can manage that.

Any tips, tricks, items, stories that anybody has that would help the process?

Anything that you forgot to pack that is a must-have?

How long should the transition be? Do we linger or leave once she gets settled?

Any advice is welcome.

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP. It is kind of hard...but you'll all make it. I would help your DD unpack her stuff if she wants you too. It's nice to get that stuff set up first. Make sure to get bed risers at Target or Walmart if the school doesn't have them on the beds. Plastic drawers from Walmart or Target under the bed (once you put the risers on) add a lot of extra space (especially needed for a girl!) Get shoe trees or those shoe packs at Bed Bath and Beyond or Target or Walmart. Get a little plastic roller drawer for the bathroom (if the dorm room has one). It's alll about trying to keep stuff organized in a tiny space. Get or order some wall posters. Pics of friends are nice to have too.

Once you set the stuff up...you'll see what else you might need. Maybe then go out for coffee/tea/lunch. Then, it's time to go.

[Anonymous]

Every kid is different. Agree that you should plan on some last minute trips to BBB or WalMart while she's getting unpacked at the dorm. Take your guidance from her "Emily, do you want me to make your bed or do you want to do it later?". Some kids might want really hands-on help, others are happy if you stand in the hall and just observe.

Meet her roommates and their parents, but don't get in interrogation mode. They're having their own move-in stress and it will embarrass your kid.

Offer to take her out to eat once things are mostly unpacked. When you get back to the dorm, it's then her choice if you come back in or say goodbyes right then.

Don't be super mushy yourself, and make it tougher on her. Save your tears for the car.

Be excited for her, she'll pick up on it eventually.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I forgot some stuff. (I was the first to respond to OP). Don't forget a power cord...must have! Also, the dorm rooms are really dark...last year Walmart had some great floor lamps for $5. Get a shower caddy unless roommie has put one on shower first. If DD needs to rent a fridge and/or microwave...see if the school has a deal. Rent a bike if the school is big. Get a little safe (cheap from Target) for the room for valuables...money, jewelry, ids.

[Anonymous]

Drop her off, give her a hug and get lost.

[Anonymous]

If you have a good relationship (which it sounds like you do) - I would help her carry everything up, offer to help unpack, offer to head to Target/Walmart/BBB, etc. for last minute items (and let her stay to unpack with her roommate while you go if that is what she wants), offer to take her out to lunch, and then head out.

DO NOT let yourself get too emotional. My mom picked a huge fight with me the day I moved into the dorms and I still remember it. I finally just said, "Is this your idea to leave mad so that it won't hurt so much???" It sucked.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can hug and leave as my parents did. My DD's move in time is precise: Monday at 4:15. Then the convocation is on Wednesday at 10. All new to me, but I hear that most parents stick around for and then leave after the convocation.

[Anonymous]

Do kids these days get a shower in the room? we still had to trudge down the hall and hope at least one of the showers wasn't gross.

[Anonymous]

This is why colleges now need a regimented drop off schedule:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/23/education/23college.html

[Anonymous]

I stayed and helped DD unpack and make up her bed. Then it was off to lunch. I did not go back to the dorm to say good bye. It would have been too much. I was very up-beat and asked if she needed anything else. I cried for the first few miles driving home, but we survived.

[Anonymous]

How did things work out for you OP? Hope it went well.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

First, let me thank everyone for the suggestions. Some of them were extremely helpful (i.e. taking enough power strips).

All and all, I think it went pretty well. We arrived around 10am, checked in and headed up to the dorm. We unloaded everything and set the room up. Her roommate was there so they were able to agree on how things would be set up. We did not get a great initial vibe from her parents, but my DH thought they were emotional - just as we were about things. We got them set up and the roommate’s mom and I went to Walmart to pick up some things and to talk. The DHs took the girls over to get their mailbox keys and their books. We met with her coaches and the team had a brief meet and greet. The school had a family picnic from 2-5 and we left as soon as it ended.

Emotionally, we were upbeat and positive with DD. She was very nervous and uncertain – although part of that was that she neglected to read any of the transition material sent by the school. We explained to her that she was not leaving us….she was going away for part of the year to get an education and start building her life. We said goodbyes at the picnic with smiles and hugs. Them DH, DS and I all lost it once we got in the car. LOL!! We cried for a few minutes and came on back. I will say that out daughter called us 9 times that night – 5 times the next day – and one text today….so we think she may be getting settled in.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the report. We go later this week. So your DS was emotional? I think mine really doesn't care (other than that he may not want to be the remaining focus of our attention).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the report. We go later this week. So your DS was emotional? I think mine really doesn't care (other than that he may not want to be the remaining focus of our attention).

OP here! DS was teary eyed about DD. I do believe that now being the focus of attention instead of his high maintenance/ high energy sister is on his mind. LOL!! Deep down I do think he will miss her. They are 5 years apart and they fought like cats and dogs. But at the end of the day, she would do anything for him and, her schedule permitting, she helped with him this summer with camp pickups and such. He seems to be over it today though! LOL!!!

The best thing we did was staying upbeat and positive. My DD feeds on our emotions (mostly mine) and she was constantly watching me all day to see if I was going to hold up.

[Anonymous]

Glad to hear things went well OP. What sport will she play? I had written some of the replies...my dd does rowing at college.