Neighbor Asked Our Nanny to Do Her a Favor. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

We are friendly with our next door neighbors. Their son is a year older than mine and the boys play together occassionally. The neighbors are going on vacation for 2 weeks and the neighbor mom asked our nanny to come over every day to feed their parakeet while they are away. The neighbor mom did not ask me if this would be okay first. This means that our nanny will need to take my 3 kids over to their house every day to feed the bird, as my children are too young to be left alone in our house, even for 5 minutes. Our nanny felt very put on the spot and said yes.

I don't really mind if our nanny does this. But, she should have told neighbor mom that she had to ask me first, and I have discussed that with our nanny. That said, I think the neighbor mom should have asked me first if I was okay with this arrangement. After all, she'll have to take my kids over to their house to do it. Should I say something to the neighbor mom? If so, what? Also, should I insist that our nanny do it either before or after her work day with us? They offered to pay our nanny to feed the bird.

Not sure what to do, but I am inclined say something to the neighbor mom. It would never occur to me to ask her nanny to feed our pets without asking her first. Keep in mind that I generally like this woman and our sons play together really well.

Advice please.

[Anonymous]

B/c you generally like this woman, I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Is it possible that she is going to pay your nanny to do this (even if she didn't say that originally), and she meant for the nanny to do it after she is done at your house for the day? I would not ask for something like that, myself, but it's not incomprehensible to me that she might think: okay, here is a service employee providing a service to my neighbor, she does a good job and maybe she can do something for me too after she's done over there?

[Anonymous]

WHy would you assume your nanny needs to do this during the day with your kids? If I were your neighbor,I would think it was strange you assumed this.

[Anonymous]

you sound awfully territorial

[Anonymous]

Why can't the nanny stop over there in the morning before coming to your house? She might have to get there 15 mins earlier than normal, but this isn't a crazy request. Nor do I think it was imperative your neighbor ask you before asking the nanny. IMO, your expectation is a little over the top.

[Anonymous]

How many times a day does a parakeet need to be fed? Do it before or after work.

[Anonymous]

agreed - do it before or after work. no biggie.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should insist she do it before or after her stated work hours with you. And I'd tell the mom that she shouldn't ask again. And certainly your neighbor should pay your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Agreed, why can't she do it before or after work. My neighbour (also my friend) asked my nanny to water her garden everyday while she was on holiday (for pay). She went either before or after work. I was happy she could help out.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why your neighbor should ask you. Presumably your nanny is an adult and capable of making her own decisions--she's not your property. It's not like taking your bike without asking you. Nor do I see why you assume she'll do it with your kids in tow. I suspect your neighbor assumes she'll do it before or after work, for compensation.

[Anonymous]

Is this your nanny or your slave? If just your nanny, no need to have permission to "hire her out".

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others. Unless the neighbor specifically asked her to feed it at a certain time, she is probably going to do it before or after work. Find this information out before you confront your neighbor, otherwise you are in for an uncomfortable situation that makes you look anything but good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WHy would you assume your nanny needs to do this during the day with your kids? If I were your neighbor,I would think it was strange you assumed this.

This.

And also, I don't think its any stretch for an adult to ask another adult if they are willing/capable of performing a task.

[Anonymous]

Why not offer to do it yourself after work? It takes 5 minutes. I'm sure she'd be happy to help you sometime.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would definitely let her know that she needs to do it before or after her work as a nanny for you. This is a side job for her (and I sure hope the neighbor is paying her!!!) I would stay out of it and not say anything. If anything, IF the nanny truly does not want to do anything like this again, just advise her for future reference about how to respond on the spot if asked and she wants to decline. There are various reasons why she shouldn't take your kids over to the neighbor's to feed the bird, including liability. What if one of them broke something, even accidentally, it gets complicated.