Whitman HS Suicide

[Anonymous]

I went to Whitman my freshmen year and received no support. No one knew what I was going through. I actively self harmed,used substances (which many students were aware of) and eventually I tried to take my own life, and was close to succeeding. I was hospitalized for months. This did not happen purely because of Whitman, suicide happens everywhere around us unfortunately. Whitman however, amoungst most schools do not care for their students enough, or educate them on these issues. We need to be more educated and mental health shouldn't be so taboo to discuss.... PLEASE talk to your children, know the signs. We need to change to prevent tradgedies like this continuing. Suicide is preventable. I'm begging you, open up this conversation no matter how hard and uncomfortable it may be. When I was struggling all I wanted and needed was someone to recognize my symptoms, or to know that I was not alone. I was lucky to survive but many are not so lucky.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I went to Whitman my freshmen year and received no support. No one knew what I was going through. I actively self harmed,used substances (which many students were aware of) and eventually I tried to take my own life, and was close to succeeding. I was hospitalized for months. This did not happen purely because of Whitman, suicide happens everywhere around us unfortunately. Whitman however, amoungst most schools do not care for their students enough, or educate them on these issues. We need to be more educated and mental health shouldn't be so taboo to discuss.... PLEASE talk to your children, know the signs. We need to change to prevent tradgedies like this continuing. Suicide is preventable. I'm begging you, open up this conversation no matter how hard and uncomfortable it may be. When I was struggling all I wanted and needed was someone to recognize my symptoms, or to know that I was not alone. I was lucky to survive but many are not so lucky. [/quote]

PP, what helped you in the end?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went to Whitman my freshmen year and received no support. No one knew what I was going through. I actively self harmed,used substances (which many students were aware of) and eventually I tried to take my own life, and was close to succeeding. I was hospitalized for months. This did not happen purely because of Whitman, suicide happens everywhere around us unfortunately. Whitman however, amoungst most schools do not care for their students enough, or educate them on these issues. We need to be more educated and mental health shouldn't be so taboo to discuss.... PLEASE talk to your children, know the signs. We need to change to prevent tradgedies like this continuing. Suicide is preventable. I'm begging you, open up this conversation no matter how hard and uncomfortable it may be. When I was struggling all I wanted and needed was someone to recognize my symptoms, or to know that I was not alone. I was lucky to survive but many are not so lucky. [/quote]

PP, what helped you in the end? [/quote]

No one realized I was hurting to that scale until I was put into the hospital. What helped was moving from impatient hospitalization to another program. No one helped me get there but once everyone knew my struggles they were supportive. I was lucky and unlucky. Me getting better was because of my own hard work though. It took a lot

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I went to Whitman my freshmen year and received no support. No one knew what I was going through. I actively self harmed,used substances (which many students were aware of) and eventually I tried to take my own life, and was close to succeeding. I was hospitalized for months. This did not happen purely because of Whitman, suicide happens everywhere around us unfortunately. Whitman however, amoungst most schools do not care for their students enough, or educate them on these issues. We need to be more educated and mental health shouldn't be so taboo to discuss.... PLEASE talk to your children, know the signs. We need to change to prevent tradgedies like this continuing. Suicide is preventable. I'm begging you, open up this conversation no matter how hard and uncomfortable it may be. When I was struggling all I wanted and needed was someone to recognize my symptoms, or to know that I was not alone. I was lucky to survive but many are not so lucky. [/quote]

Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who would like to help the cause of mental illness treatment and suicide prevention in JoJo's memory, this family has published this:

http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Jordana-Greenberg&lc=4927&pid=187385370&mid=7659218

Many thanks to JoJo's parents for mentioning NAMI as a place to donate in memory of JoJo. NAMI is a fabulous organization and the Montgomery County chapter has many resources to support county residents. Please check out their website - namimc.org - especially their programs page - https://namimc.org/programs/

They offer many terrific educational programs in terms of classes, public events, etc. NAMI Family-to-Family class saved my sanity and gave me empathy when a close family member was diagnosed with bipolar. That gave me knowledge to deal with my own child's depression. They also provide support groups for family members and for persons in recovery. There is a NAMI campus kit (although this is geared more towards college campuses rather than high school). And there is a program called In Our Own Voices, which brings people to schools and organizations to talk about their own experiences with mental illness. NAMI also has once a month chapter meetings.

Please support NAMI, avail yourselves of their resources and get involved in the work of NAMI MoCo.

The other charity mentioned was the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, I am not as familiar with it as NAMI, but also encourage support there.

[Anonymous]

I’m the school counselor who posted earlier. As counselors we sit on the team that decides whether or not a student gets a 504 Plan. I have had situations where I have cried out of frustration when a student was denied. There is major inequity and a lot of stupidity. Know that there may be educators fighting for your kid but getting nowhere. Know your rights. If you formally request a screening, the click starts ticking and the system has to grant your child one. Go in polite but ready. By law you as parents are equal members of the decision making team. And a child can have straight As in all AP classes and still qualify for a 504 for anxiety or depression. One does not preclude the other. The educational impact may be manifesting in other ways, not just poor grades. If you know your child needs supports and you’re getting stonewalled, hire an advocate or a lawyer or make sure you know what you’re doing. And make sure you’re at every meeting, have every piece of paperwork and a chance to review it ahead of time, and that the people on the team KNOW your child. Preferably not just one person who did the required observation in class. Someone needs to be able to speak to their strengths and weaknesses. I also would be wary of leaving the diagnosis to the school. I’ve seen some psychologists in MCPS make some pretty bad calls, but it’s hard to appeal once they’ve declared that testing shows the child is ineligible. Of course, this goes back to inequity, because private psychologists are expensive.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I went to Whitman my freshmen year and received no support. No one knew what I was going through. I actively self harmed,used substances (which many students were aware of) and eventually I tried to take my own life, and was close to succeeding. I was hospitalized for months. This did not happen purely because of Whitman, suicide happens everywhere around us unfortunately. Whitman however, amoungst most schools do not care for their students enough, or educate them on these issues. We need to be more educated and mental health shouldn't be so taboo to discuss.... PLEASE talk to your children, know the signs. We need to change to prevent tradgedies like this continuing. Suicide is preventable. I'm begging you, open up this conversation no matter how hard and uncomfortable it may be. When I was struggling all I wanted and needed was someone to recognize my symptoms, or to know that I was not alone. I was lucky to survive but many are not so lucky. [/quote]

Thanks for sharing you experience.

I glad you are doing well.

[Anonymous]

Any news from the candle light vigil? Thoughts and prayers to all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

It is mental illness but that doesn’t mean there is t fault. My child is currently hospitalized because he is suicidal. Trigger is mostly school pressure. I went to the school once a week at least to try to get supports only to be told my son was fine. But he’s not and he may have been had he received some supports. It’s not the only thing but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. So yes sometimes there is blame.

That doesn’t mean it’s the fault of the school. If your son can’t function in that school environment you have to find another environment for him.
It sounds like he needs a therapeutic school - you need to advocate for him and find him another setting.

Most families cannot afford a therapeutic school - maybe are 50K+ a year if not more. The schools, especially MCPS will not pay for it in less the issues are severe and being suicidal generally isn't one. Many families are left on their own to cope and figure it out. Few insurances offer great mental health treatment and there are very few good therapists and psychiatrists out there.

What are you talking about? It sounds like you keep trying to justify your lack of action on behalf of your son . There are tons of good psychiatrists and psychologists - get out there and find appropriate care for your son.

It is extremely hard to get a new patient appointment with an adolescent psychiatrist in this area. And most do not take insurance and charge $400 or more for an intake appointment. You beat whatever drum you have to to get help for your kid, but it is damn hard and expensive.

You do know that even if they don't "take insurance", that you can submit the claim to your insurance? Yes, you might have to put it on a credit card until you are reimbursed, but mental health is a required part of insurance coverage now.

But, your insurer is not required to cover out of network docs and, even if they do, they usually cover far less than the cost of a session, meaning you will Paul FAR more than the copay you would for someone in-network.

You can count on one hand the number of “in network” docs who are good. I saw one of the last of the best, may she Rest In Peace. I know her work was a mitzvah - I miss her very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, what a loss. It sounds like she was such a lovely, sweet light of a person, and such a good friend. It’s just tragic.

That this can happen to a laughing, smiling, much loved kid who was social, active and involved in her school community, is what is so terrifying to us parents who seem to be desperately looking for an explanation to calm our own anxiety.

But there’s no easy, palatable answer as to why she took her own, precious life. Except that depression is brutal, particularly during adolescence. It’s just so, so sad.

I’m wishing her loved ones comfort and peace.

I don’t want to be specific, but there were other issues - it was not as you described. She was getting help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drug use, even recreational marijuana use, can trigger mental issues in users, particularly younger children and teens. I am not suggesting that was an issue in this case, as I do not know this beautiful girl, but it is something parents should watch for in their own children.

Same with alcohol.

[Anonymous]

I knew this girl personally and I am in shock because of she had a very loving and cheerful nature. Although I did not know her well, I grew up with her at school and I don't even know what to feel. She would have a smile for the whole day, even during finals, and I and many others will miss her dearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

It is mental illness but that doesn’t mean there is t fault. My child is currently hospitalized because he is suicidal. Trigger is mostly school pressure. I went to the school once a week at least to try to get supports only to be told my son was fine. But he’s not and he may have been had he received some supports. It’s not the only thing but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. So yes sometimes there is blame.

This. The environment matters.
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, First make sure you are not, In fact, just surrounded by assholes.”?—?William Gibson

+1 to both of the above. Both reflect the experience we had with mental illness and MCPS.

DD was diagnosed with depression and missed a lot of school. We asked MCPS school for 504 plan. School denied, arguing that DD's grades were still As and Bs and DD was taking advanced classes. Told us DD would have to drop down to on level classes and get Cs or below before DD could be eligible for a 504 plan and any accommodations. This is NOT the correct legal standard for a 504 plan, and we told the school that during the meetings.

The whole 504 problem took over 4 months to resolve. It became very ugly, with teachers docking DD's grades for absences or "late" work, even though DD had excused absences for which we had provided documentation by a physician, and berating her for her absences. In addition, teachers refused to allow DD to do same assignments as the rest of the class, and began to assign her alternative assignments, which she had not asked for, thereby (illegally) excluding her from the regular classroom environment. At no time did DD ask for or need any changes to the work assigned. She just asked for extended timelines/flexibility in deadlines to complete the work.

DD's health plummeted. As parents this put us in a very difficult position -- is it better to support your DC in a fight (which is stressful) or to encourage them to not fight and give in and take the bad grades and classes they don't want (which is also stressful).

This situation did not get resolved until we informed the school that we were hiring legal counsel. Then, miraculously, the school informed us that they were wrong. It still took another 2 months to sort out the plan and get all teachers on board.

PP, if you had a formal diagnosis when you went to school in MCPS and asked for help, I encourage you to pursue an IEP or 504 or home and hospital teaching, as appropriate, and file a formal complaint, in writing, with MCPS (either the section 504 county-wide supervisor or the head of special education). Re-file your request for support in writing, asking for either an IEP or 504.

School was definitely at fault in our situation, and I was genuinely worried for DD's mental stability as a result. All professionals involved (psychiatrist and psychologist) recommended that DD be allowed to continue in her current classes and that 504 should be fought for. When DD is "safe" from school retaliation, we will consider filing complaint/suit and encourage others to do the same.

I am concerned that kids in school are not getting appropriate support. I am not saying this is the problem that this particular woman experienced or that it contributed to her suicide (if that is what it was), but I am saying that it is a problem for many students. It is very easy to say, that child had fill in the blank, which was the real cause of the problem not the school. But kids with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse problems, etc., are legally entitled to some forms of support at school if their illness is affecting their education (which it often does). When schools refuse to provide support, it can be devastating to students, exacerbating their illness.

We went through the same thing with MCPS. It is a huge, dysfunctional bureaucracy. We pulled our anxious ADHD child out and moved over to private, at great cost to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

It is mental illness but that doesn’t mean there is t fault. My child is currently hospitalized because he is suicidal. Trigger is mostly school pressure. I went to the school once a week at least to try to get supports only to be told my son was fine. But he’s not and he may have been had he received some supports. It’s not the only thing but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. So yes sometimes there is blame.

That doesn’t mean it’s the fault of the school. If your son can’t function in that school environment you have to find another environment for him.
It sounds like he needs a therapeutic school - you need to advocate for him and find him another setting.

She said the school said he was fine. Those of us who came from private school learn far too late that MCPS needs to kept in line with a legal whip.

I never heard “he’s fine” more times than when I went to MCPS with concerns about my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

It is mental illness but that doesn’t mean there is t fault. My child is currently hospitalized because he is suicidal. Trigger is mostly school pressure. I went to the school once a week at least to try to get supports only to be told my son was fine. But he’s not and he may have been had he received some supports. It’s not the only thing but it was definitely the straw that broke the camels back. So yes sometimes there is blame.

This. The environment matters.
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, First make sure you are not, In fact, just surrounded by assholes.”?—?William Gibson

+1 to both of the above. Both reflect the experience we had with mental illness and MCPS.

DD was diagnosed with depression and missed a lot of school. We asked MCPS school for 504 plan. School denied, arguing that DD's grades were still As and Bs and DD was taking advanced classes. Told us DD would have to drop down to on level classes and get Cs or below before DD could be eligible for a 504 plan and any accommodations. This is NOT the correct legal standard for a 504 plan, and we told the school that during the meetings.

The whole 504 problem took over 4 months to resolve. It became very ugly, with teachers docking DD's grades for absences or "late" work, even though DD had excused absences for which we had provided documentation by a physician, and berating her for her absences. In addition, teachers refused to allow DD to do same assignments as the rest of the class, and began to assign her alternative assignments, which she had not asked for, thereby (illegally) excluding her from the regular classroom environment. At no time did DD ask for or need any changes to the work assigned. She just asked for extended timelines/flexibility in deadlines to complete the work.

DD's health plummeted. As parents this put us in a very difficult position -- is it better to support your DC in a fight (which is stressful) or to encourage them to not fight and give in and take the bad grades and classes they don't want (which is also stressful).

This situation did not get resolved until we informed the school that we were hiring legal counsel. Then, miraculously, the school informed us that they were wrong. It still took another 2 months to sort out the plan and get all teachers on board.

PP, if you had a formal diagnosis when you went to school in MCPS and asked for help, I encourage you to pursue an IEP or 504 or home and hospital teaching, as appropriate, and file a formal complaint, in writing, with MCPS (either the section 504 county-wide supervisor or the head of special education). Re-file your request for support in writing, asking for either an IEP or 504.

School was definitely at fault in our situation, and I was genuinely worried for DD's mental stability as a result. All professionals involved (psychiatrist and psychologist) recommended that DD be allowed to continue in her current classes and that 504 should be fought for. When DD is "safe" from school retaliation, we will consider filing complaint/suit and encourage others to do the same.

I am concerned that kids in school are not getting appropriate support. I am not saying this is the problem that this particular woman experienced or that it contributed to her suicide (if that is what it was), but I am saying that it is a problem for many students. It is very easy to say, that child had fill in the blank, which was the real cause of the problem not the school. But kids with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse problems, etc., are legally entitled to some forms of support at school if their illness is affecting their education (which it often does). When schools refuse to provide support, it can be devastating to students, exacerbating their illness.

Your post is pushing me to hire legal counsel for my DC and press charges. We have done everything to provide an appropriate and enriched learning environment and supports only for DC to be harassed for not beating the crap out of a kid who jumped him. (A life of telling DC not to hit, never retaliate because the responsible adults will handle the situation is a pipe dream.) DC spends entire day trying to regain some dignity (street cred) as the school made him sign a form saying he was partially responsible for being jumped. Thank God for one non-teacher who intervened with the attacker. My DH won’t let DC leave the school. It is sheer madness.

Do it. I went through the same thing twice, two different MCPS schools, two different kids, several years apart. It is horrifying to learn what really goes on in the schools. That said, in this particular case, MCPS had nothing to do with this sad outcome.