does anyone else find the social scene at Janney hard to take?

[Anonymous]

This

Anonymous wrote:The beautiful people and Heathers references are a bit confusing. Particularly in light of the "eye candy" posts many months ago complaining that Janney parents tend to be older and as a result less attractive than parents in other parts of the city. For new comers this is where the toe shoes reference comes from (and it isn't ballet).

Much of the Janney neighborhood is in many ways suburban looking with homes that are modest and indistinguishable from each other. Most of these homes are also hover around $800,000, which is also a bit high for this style of home and location -- simple colonial with about 3 small bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths, and not necessarily close to the Metro. Some of the older homes may be larger and more architecturally interesting, but you are essentially paying a small premium to be in bounds. Some parents get frustrated with the quality of the homes, you can also see those posts on DCUM as well. I would have to agree with them that many parts of the neighborhood are very quintessentially 50s and not at all in a good way.

Janney is the highest-performing elementary school in the city, has a lovely facility and an amazing principal. The parents advocate for their school as a group which is incredible to watch. I think some active parents in other schools have strong leaders, but the sense of collective work is much less strong. This may make Janney seem clubby because these active parents who are a critical mass that might seem like a clique, because they are all pulling their weight. No one person -- or small group of less than 10 -- is doing the lions share of the work.

Instead of criticizing Janney parents we should learn from them. We should also be thankful to them for bringing this same dynamic and desire to improve schools with their children who now attend Deal and Wilson.

Signed a non-Janney parent, and not in bounds for Janney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who are worried about the popular crowd are rather pathetic. Here's the deal. There are more than 600 kids at Janney. Figure about 300 sets of parents. The vast majority wear fleeces and danskos and toe shoes, and are not now nor would they have been in high school part of the "popular" crowd. A handful of nouveau-AU Parkers with kids at Janney may be rich and (less likely, but still possible) good looking. Maybe they hang out together. But guess what, frustrated PPs? The rest of us don't even know who they are. If they are "popular," it's with themselves, and there are very few of themselves, and with you. The vast majority of Janney parents haven't so much as noticed such people, and if they did, it would be to ever so casually scorn them. If YOU are envious or otherwise unnerved by them, whoever they are, it's your thing. Own it.

This is the poster who got beat up for encouraging my daughter to become friends with one of the sleepover kids. I have a few thoughts:
- my therapist appointment this week will be entirely driven by our mean and snarky responses. Nice job being neighborly!
- we all could lose a few pounds but some of you have nothing better to do but compare women's figures. I lost weight and found that I had a little more sway over my hubby (tee hee! ) and felt a little better about myself, not to compare myself to the "In" crowd.
- I have reconsidered whether to even participate in the sleepover even if I win this year. It doesn't seem right to make it so exclusive. I'd rather do something that the whole class can enjoy like an ice cream night or a zoo trip. That would allow me and my kid to join in without worrying about getting in with the right group.

NP here and not a Janney parent. your answer is painful to read and frankly demonstrates that the poster you are responding to is probably spot on. apparently you did not even get what the poster was trying to say. I am glad you at least stopped pushing your daughter to become friends with people you apparently still believe are the "in" crowd. "that would allow ME and my kid to join": you should leave your daughter alone, and find your own friends and activities. this is HER elementary school and social life, not YOURS. geez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This

Anonymous wrote: ...." Much of the Janney neighborhood is in many ways suburban looking with homes that are modest and indistinguishable from each other.
TRANSLATION: I DON'T LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR AU PARK, I ONLY KNOW IT FROM DRIVING AROUND ITS PERIMETER. I BELIEVE THE ROWHOUSE -I- LIVE IN IS REALLY DISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE OTHER 300 ROWHOUSES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

Most of these homes are also hover around $800,000, which is also a bit high for this style of home and location
TRANSLATION: OKAY ACTUALLY I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE CURRENT REAL ESTATE MARKET FOR THAT PART OF TOWN, SO I'M BLUFFIING



Some parents get frustrated with the quality of the homes,
TRANSLATION: CONJECTURE, I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIVES IN AN AU PARK COLONIAL. I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF THAT THE "QUALITY" OF THESE 1930 HOMES IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT THAN THE "QUALITY" OF THE 1930 ROWHOMES THAT DOMINATE PETWORTH (<<WHICH IS SO. COOL. DID I MENTION THAT?), H ST. (DITTO), TRUXTON CIRCLE AND MUCH OF COLUMBIA HEIGHTS -- ALL NEIGHBORHOODS -I- APPROVE OF!!!!

you can also see those posts on DCUM as well. I would have to agree with them that many parts of the neighborhood are very quintessentially 50s and not at all in a good way.
BUT I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW THIS SINCE I'VE NEVER LIVED THERE. SOME PARTS OF -MY- NEIGHBORHOOD ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY "1968 RACIAL TENSION," BY THE WAY, BUT I IGNORE THAT.


Janney is the highest-performing elementary school in the city, has a lovely facility and an amazing principal. The parents advocate for their school as a group which is incredible to watch. I think some active parents in other schools have strong leaders, but the sense of collective work is much less strong. This may make Janney seem clubby because these active parents who are a critical mass that might seem like a clique, because they are all pulling their weight. No one person -- or small group of less than 10 -- is doing the lions share of the work.
I AM SUMMARIZING HERE BASED MERELY ON WHAT I READ ON DCUM. SAME AS ALL OF YOU


Signed a non-Janney parent, and not in bounds for Janney
HELL, AND LET'S JUST BE HONEST HERE, I'M ALSO NOT A PERSON WHO'S SPENT MORE THAN 5 MINUTES IN A LOCATION THAT IS INBOUNDS FOR JANNEY. EXCEPT A FEW TIMES I WENT TO GUAPOS AND THE CONTAINER STORE TWICE

[Anonymous]

How many posters are there on this entire thread? I would guess about six or seven people hav been making all these comments!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This

Anonymous wrote: ...." Much of the Janney neighborhood is in many ways suburban looking with homes that are modest and indistinguishable from each other.
TRANSLATION: I DON'T LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR AU PARK, I ONLY KNOW IT FROM DRIVING AROUND ITS PERIMETER. I BELIEVE THE ROWHOUSE -I- LIVE IN IS REALLY DISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE OTHER 300 ROWHOUSES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

Most of these homes are also hover around $800,000, which is also a bit high for this style of home and location
TRANSLATION: OKAY ACTUALLY I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE CURRENT REAL ESTATE MARKET FOR THAT PART OF TOWN, SO I'M BLUFFIING



Some parents get frustrated with the quality of the homes,
TRANSLATION: CONJECTURE, I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIVES IN AN AU PARK COLONIAL. I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF THAT THE "QUALITY" OF THESE 1930 HOMES IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT THAN THE "QUALITY" OF THE 1930 ROWHOMES THAT DOMINATE PETWORTH (<<WHICH IS SO. COOL. DID I MENTION THAT?), H ST. (DITTO), TRUXTON CIRCLE AND MUCH OF COLUMBIA HEIGHTS -- ALL NEIGHBORHOODS -I- APPROVE OF!!!!

you can also see those posts on DCUM as well. I would have to agree with them that many parts of the neighborhood are very quintessentially 50s and not at all in a good way.
BUT I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW THIS SINCE I'VE NEVER LIVED THERE. SOME PARTS OF -MY- NEIGHBORHOOD ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY "1968 RACIAL TENSION," BY THE WAY, BUT I IGNORE THAT.


Janney is the highest-performing elementary school in the city, has a lovely facility and an amazing principal. The parents advocate for their school as a group which is incredible to watch. I think some active parents in other schools have strong leaders, but the sense of collective work is much less strong. This may make Janney seem clubby because these active parents who are a critical mass that might seem like a clique, because they are all pulling their weight. No one person -- or small group of less than 10 -- is doing the lions share of the work.
I AM SUMMARIZING HERE BASED MERELY ON WHAT I READ ON DCUM. SAME AS ALL OF YOU


Signed a non-Janney parent, and not in bounds for Janney
HELL, AND LET'S JUST BE HONEST HERE, I'M ALSO NOT A PERSON WHO'S SPENT MORE THAN 5 MINUTES IN A LOCATION THAT IS INBOUNDS FOR JANNEY. EXCEPT A FEW TIMES I WENT TO GUAPOS AND THE CONTAINER STORE TWICE

You forgot to sign it crazy Janney booster. Why so sensitive?

[Anonymous]

7:22 wow what a strange response. Janney is the premier DCPS elementary school in the city. However given the tone of this response I am very concerned. As someone who knows Janney well because many of our friends send their children there and we live nearby. I am thinking that you may represent the element the OP is talking about, however I continue to think you represent the vast minority of Janney parents. I suggest you talk with Norah about her effort to reach out to schools across the city through quality teaching opportunities and her city-wide coalition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're either in or you're not. If you're not then your kid gets invited to significantly less birthday parties and play dates. Getting in requires that you schmooze with the right people relentlessly and have endless face time at the school (and the bar is set high---there are parents who seem to literally live at the school). People invest in others based on what they can (or can't) so for them socially. Honestly it feels like high school. I can't be imagining this. It was not like this at any other school setting my child has been apart of. Perhaps the fact that everyone lives within a few miles of each other and for many people Janney is their entire DC social life contributes to this?

Excuse me for being late to this thread and I have no skin in this matter as my kids went to Murch but it struck me because it reminded me of a statement made by a parent of a former Janney student whose son was there for one year. Our kids were at the same school at one time before going to our respective elementary schools. I wondered why he left. The parent told me about how his son was excluded from birthday parties. At the time I thought that sounded crazy because my kids who were at Murch were invited to every birthday party that I knew of in their first year, which was 4th grade. I wasn't sure they'd make friends since most of the kids had been there since K. I could tell the father was hurt about his son not being invited to parties as any parent would. Reading this thread was a kind of "aha" and gave renewed credibility to the parent. If this is true, it is a very sad commentary on the parents because selective exclusion is learned behavior from the adults. My kids left to go to a private school and no one is excluded from parties or social activities. I have never heard of this and it hurts my heart for the children who are victims of such stupid, juvenile behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is some of this going on at murch as well. I see it but I honestly can't make myself care enough. I'm a single mom, not wealthy, I work all the time. My weekends are spend on chores and playmates. I don't think I need to be the most popular parent at school. I want my child to make his own friends and I don't necessarily have to be best friends with the parents. I don't plan to run for PTA. Education is important and I'm cordial and will hapily socialize when time permits, but I'm not crying because I'm not in the "in crowd".

I am a former Murch parent and have the same mind set as yours but with a different SES. My husband and I are working professionals and my family lives in the neighborhood of Murch. I would chat with the moms when I had time but mostly I would drop the kids off at school, parties and play dates and be off. I did not have much time for schmoozing but my kids had plenty of friends without me interceding on their behalf. I don't know what you mean by "popular parents" or "in crowd" at school maybe because I could care less. My kids are now in private school and I have the same mindset. There are more SAHMs and SAHDs who probably have family money. Again, I chit chat occasionally and there are more parties and activities but on a higher economic scale. My kids get plenty of invitations and I even call on the SAHMs to take my kids with them when I can't get away. So, I guess what I am saying is I think this whole thread is silly. And, parents should let their children make friends the natural way.

[Anonymous]

This entire thread has been an answer to the question, "is it possible to have too much parent involvement in schools?"

Obviously, there's some benefit to relative wealth and an abundance of SAHMs, but then some drawbacks when they're educated overachievers as well. I dislike stereotyping, but it's an unavoidable phenomenon in every culture and at least some of what's decsribed (and played out) here in this thread must be true. It sounds like the worst of DCUM exhibited in living color.

I previously thought that WOTP principals and teachers had it easy with great numbers of well-prepared kids. Now I have a newfound respect for the challenge they must face on a daily basis from WOTP parents with too much time on their hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is some of this going on at murch as well. I see it but I honestly can't make myself care enough. I'm a single mom, not wealthy, I work all the time. My weekends are spend on chores and playmates. I don't think I need to be the most popular parent at school. I want my child to make his own friends and I don't necessarily have to be best friends with the parents. I don't plan to run for PTA. Education is important and I'm cordial and will hapily socialize when time permits, but I'm not crying because I'm not in the "in crowd".

I am a former Murch parent and have the same mind set as yours but with a different SES. My husband and I are working professionals and my family lives in the neighborhood of Murch. I would chat with the moms when I had time but mostly I would drop the kids off at school, parties and play dates and be off. I did not have much time for schmoozing but my kids had plenty of friends without me interceding on their behalf. I don't know what you mean by "popular parents" or "in crowd" at school maybe because I could care less. My kids are now in private school and I have the same mindset. There are more SAHMs and SAHDs who probably have family money. Again, I chit chat occasionally and there are more parties and activities but on a higher economic scale. My kids get plenty of invitations and I even call on the SAHMs to take my kids with them when I can't get away. So, I guess what I am saying is I think this whole thread is silly. And, parents should let their children make friends the natural way.

Thank you, Murch neighborhood parent, for chiming in and letting everyone know that you have a high HHI.

[Anonymous]

No, HHI or not, I don't care about who the "it parents" are. As long as the kids are doing well and developing friendships, I am not concerned about the socializing, which appears shallow anyway.

[Anonymous]

Some of what I read seems exaggerated but part of it rings true. A colleague at work started her DS at Janney last year and fretted about hosting a reception at home to "introduce" their family to other Janney parents. She seemed pretty stressed out about it.

[Anonymous]

This thread is like a gory accident I can't look away from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of what I read seems exaggerated but part of it rings true. A colleague at work started her DS at Janney last year and fretted about hosting a reception at home to "introduce" their family to other Janney parents. She seemed pretty stressed out about it.

Did your colleague tell you that she VOLUNTEERED to host the low-key parent social that each class holds at the beginning of the school year? That it's a potluck with generally bad food? That lots of schools do this? That the purpose is all parents to get to know one another, not for your friend to "introduce" herself to the Janney community? That "reception" is a generous description for 20-30 parents munching on chips and salsa for 90 minutes?

Given that description, does your view still "ring true" or does your colleague seem a bit neurotic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This entire thread has been an answer to the question, "is it possible to have too much parent involvement in schools?"

Obviously, there's some benefit to relative wealth and an abundance of SAHMs, but then some drawbacks when they're educated overachievers as well. I dislike stereotyping, but it's an unavoidable phenomenon in every culture and at least some of what's decsribed (and played out) here in this thread must be true. It sounds like the worst of DCUM exhibited in living color.

I previously thought that WOTP principals and teachers had it easy with great numbers of well-prepared kids. Now I have a newfound respect for the challenge they must face on a daily basis from WOTP parents with too much time on their hands.

I think there's more going on here than over-involved well-educated parents, because you get that in the high-quality suburban districts too.

Janney is unique. It has Bethesda (Whitman pyramid) demographics, quality and IB %, yet it is located in DC where the politics are wild west and nothing about education policy can be taken for granted. I think this explains some of the Janney culture, at least what I am observing during this whole boundary review process.

People I talk to in the Whitman pyramid are very secure about their schools. They bought for the schools and they know they have 100% top quality K-12 and it is guaranteed to continue that way forever. Janney parents know they have top quality PK-5. But then for MS they know Deal is quality but they are worried about overcrowding, and they know Wilson has room for improvement. And some are even concerned about crowding at Janney.

I think this leads to a more active PTA and parent body. If you are IB for Janney you know you need to keep working. If you are IB within Whitman or attending a top private you can relax. Just a hypothesis.