Thrifty vs. Cheap when it comes to kids' stuff (clothes, school supplies, etc..)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still, buying chidlren used clothing from a thrift shop, that is for people on welfare and foodstamps. I actually think if you are shopping for kids clothes at thrift shops and you are not truly poor, what you are doing is kind of morally wrong. There are people who really need those items and you are buying it instead just to be "thrifty".

Wow - that is unbelievable. Thrift stores are not like food stamps where you have to qualify with a certain lower income in order to participate. The funds used for thrift store purchases help the community, the items purchased help the environment, and if I am able to afford any clothing I want but instead buy items for $1/each and instead am able to fully fund my kids' college education, they are in designer, well-maintained clothes, and I will ultimately be able to leave them tons of money when I die...which do you think is a wiser choice. Oh wait - I don't really want YOUR opinion on it. I want the opinion of someone who is more money-savvy.

+1.

In fact, I actually am amazed at all you people and your priorities. I buy name brand items from consignment sales and thrift stores for my children that are in good quality condition. You would have a hard time telling them from a brand new version of the same thing. And I pay $3-6 per item instead of $15-40 (yes, I saw some of the same items that I was buying used for $5 at Great Beginnings in Gaithersburg for $40) per item. I personally question someone's priorities if they insist on buying new and spending hundreds of dollars more on clothing per child and then complain that they need financial aid to send their kids to school or that they can't afford camp or school trips or whatever.

I too am pretty happy that I can buy good quality clothes at less expensive prices and stock more away for my children's education and more important things than being snobbish about clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did they not realize that hand me downs are, by definition, "used"?

But people may think of clothes used by people they know differently from clothes used by people they didn't know. For example, maybe used clothes from the thrift store are somebody else's cast-offs, whereas used clothes from hand-me-downs are sharing within the family. Or I have had people tell me that they don't buy used clothes because dead people might have worn them -- this worry would not apply to most hand-me-downs.

Highly unlikely a dead person was previously in 3t clothing. Possible, but very unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree. There are many other ways to be environmentally-conscious. Save the thrift store deals for those who truly need them.

Again. Thrift stores stay in business BY SELLING THINGS. Please explain how not buying things from thrift stores helps thrift stores stay in business.

(I'm also curious about whether you apply this kind of thinking to any other commercial transaction. "No, I'm sorry, I always only pay full retail price; I'm trying to save the deals for those who truly need them.")

In addition, if you don't realize, most thrift stores have huge warehouses of things that are being sorted, cleaned, and prepared for sale. They periodically have sales where they discount items, especially clothing, to move them so that they can make room for more items from the warehouse. The charitable recycling industry is huge, especially in urban areas and they don't need items "saved" for those who truly need them. They need and want to move items as fast as possible, they'll make more money which they devote to support their causes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the original poster who said I think people who shop at thrift shops are poor and not cheap.

We currently have a HHI of $700k+. However, we were at $200k a few years ago before DH started earning. I went to a thrift shop once and I felt dirty just being in there. I would not be proud shopping at a thrift shop. Fine if you do.

Wow! You are such a colossal SNOB!!!!

Really, what a judgmental bitch! I'm pretty shocked that someone can genuinely be such a snob. Do you share such views in person too? If so, I hope the reaction of others around you is a lesson to you.

Do you have any antiques in your home? If so, you do realize they are "used" too? If you want to waste your money, and the world's resources then fine by me. Just know that I (and many others) think you are an idiot for doing so. I am very proud that most of my kids clothes come from Value Village. There is nothing righteous about wasting money. Not only that but most of the clothes are of good quality and often brand new and good brands. Most of their toys come from there too. When we are done with their clothes and toys we donate them to Goodwill (we also shop there) or pass them on to friends and neighbors. We have a great lifestyle because we don't waste money unnecessarily, we also save a ton and have no debt which I doubt I can say of someone who is as much of a snob as you. You're probably mortgaged to the hilt and when either you or your husband loses your job will have to foreclose quickly and ultimately find yourself shopping at "dirty" thrift stores for financial reasons. Oh, how the rest of us will laugh).

We are not snobs. We both come from humble beginnings. DH worked his ass off because he grew up poor. His parents still did not buy him clothes from a thrift shop either! We both worked in high school and bought our own clothes. We have strong work ethic. DH is also obsessed with saving so we have no debt. We are also very thrifty.

Maybe your poor kids will work hard and eventually earn $500k+ because they hated being poor when they were kids like we did...

I hate to say it but despite your humble beginnings, you ARE snobs. The two are not mutually exclusive. Your humble beginnings and strong work ethic are very good, but have little to do with your snobbish attitude that thrift stores are beneath you and that those who shop at thrift stores are beneath you and deserving of your condescension.

You would rather get poorer quality, cheap clothes that you buy new instead of better quality name brand clothes that are used that cost less. And yet, you'll look down your nose and denigrate "poor" people who choose the better quality used clothes. Yes, you are an arrogant, rich and distasteful snob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still, buying chidlren used clothing from a thrift shop, that is for people on welfare and foodstamps. I actually think if you are shopping for kids clothes at thrift shops and you are not truly poor, what you are doing is kind of morally wrong. There are people who really need those items and you are buying it instead just to be "thrifty".

Wow - that is unbelievable. Thrift stores are not like food stamps where you have to qualify with a certain lower income in order to participate. The funds used for thrift store purchases help the community, the items purchased help the environment, and if I am able to afford any clothing I want but instead buy items for $1/each and instead am able to fully fund my kids' college education, they are in designer, well-maintained clothes, and I will ultimately be able to leave them tons of money when I die...which do you think is a wiser choice. Oh wait - I don't really want YOUR opinion on it. I want the opinion of someone who is more money-savvy.

+1.

In fact, I actually am amazed at all you people and your priorities. I buy name brand items from consignment sales and thrift stores for my children that are in good quality condition. You would have a hard time telling them from a brand new version of the same thing. And I pay $3-6 per item instead of $15-40 (yes, I saw some of the same items that I was buying used for $5 at Great Beginnings in Gaithersburg for $40) per item. I personally question someone's priorities if they insist on buying new and spending hundreds of dollars more on clothing per child and then complain that they need financial aid to send their kids to school or that they can't afford camp or school trips or whatever.

I too am pretty happy that I can buy good quality clothes at less expensive prices and stock more away for my children's education and more important things than being snobbish about clothes.

Where do you get the idea that those of us who don't shop thrift or second-hand need financial aid for school, can't afford camp or school trips or "whatever"? I am a full-time working mom with a full-time working husband; we are fortunate to have a very healthy HHI and plenty of savings, including for college (for kids who are nowhere near college age), and we believe our time is worth more than scrounging around for cheap "gems" in second-hand stores. That applies to clothes, furniture, refurbished anything. Could we save money on things? Sure! If I skipped my daily Starbucks, fired our house cleaners, and ate every meal from coupon-purchased groceries, we'd save plenty of money too, but our lives would be far less pleasant. I believe in the philosophy that money should make your life easier, and if you have it, why wouldn't you take advantage of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people making $200K a year really think it's OK to benefit from other people's charitable donations.

I know. The people who think that $200K a year entitles them to financial aid for their children to go to the expensive private school is pretty incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm quite surprised by how many people on the forum by used clothing and routinely shop at thrift stores! I grew up in a solidly middle-class (most definitely not even close to wealthy) home and have never been inside a thrift store. In such a wealthy area as DC I would have expected most people not even to be aware of "used" options. These shopping practices (what the heck is Value Village?) would never have occurred to me!

I feel a bit of the same, but we were poverty line poor growing up. For some reason, my parents never bought us used clothing, shoes, etc. They took take hand me downs from family or bought the clearance clothes at Wal-Mart. I guess something about the word 'used' was not ideal for them. That sentiment has been the same for me now in that I would rather buy a cheap Wal-Mart shirt that will need to be replaced in a few months than a nice one at a thrift shop that has been worn buy someone else. Yes, I am aware of how odd that sounds, but can't shake it.

Did they not realize that hand me downs are, by definition, "used"?

Yes, they did, but to them, since it was from family it was not the same as buying from a thrift shop. I feel the same. I have absolutely no problem sharing or giving clothes to my nieces and nephews which I have done several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here: thrift store hobbyist. This may make your collective heads spin (esp. you who think thrift stores are only poor people clothing stores)...I buy beautiful, NWT or gently used baby clothes and DONATE them to a local clothes charity/mission that serves local people in need.

There are some people for whom a thrift store is cost prohibitive, more likely, they are working and do not have time to thrift shop. I do it for them.

I just love to shop. I also bargain hunt for clearance items throughout the year and make special seasonal donations. Win-win.

I agree that this is very cool. My mom is a thrift store hobbyist and my kids love it when nana visits with a box of her thrift store finds for them. When the kids outgrow, we re-donate the stuff that is still in good shape. If my kids ever get "too cool" for thrift store clothes, I'll suggest this idea to my mom. Another great thing about being wealthy-yet-thrifty is that you have more money to give away. See, for example: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/05/31/join-wall-street-save-the-world/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm quite surprised by how many people on the forum by used clothing and routinely shop at thrift stores! I grew up in a solidly middle-class (most definitely not even close to wealthy) home and have never been inside a thrift store. In such a wealthy area as DC I would have expected most people not even to be aware of "used" options. These shopping practices (what the heck is Value Village?) would never have occurred to me!

I feel a bit of the same, but we were poverty line poor growing up. For some reason, my parents never bought us used clothing, shoes, etc. They took take hand me downs from family or bought the clearance clothes at Wal-Mart. I guess something about the word 'used' was not ideal for them. That sentiment has been the same for me now in that I would rather buy a cheap Wal-Mart shirt that will need to be replaced in a few months than a nice one at a thrift shop that has been worn buy someone else. Yes, I am aware of how odd that sounds, but can't shake it.

I feel the opposite. I would also add that the fumes that come off new stuff from cheap places like Wal-Mart make me nauseous. I don't want to dress my kids in that stuff. I'd rather dress them in something high-quality that finished giving off fumes months or a year or two ago (and which will last).

You sound pretty nuts. Fumes off of clothing from Wal-Mart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me, here's the difference:

Thrifty:
- buy from Boden, Tea Collection or Hanna on sale
-buy from above w/ a Friends & Family discount
- receive hand-me-downs from older cousins/friends that are in good shape

Cheap:
- receive hand-me-downs in bad shape
- shop at Dollar Store, Target, Goodwill

Now I'm sure sixteen of you will chime in to brag about the Hanna Anderson $84 dress you found at Goodwill and how three daughters have worn it and it's held up beautifully with tights from Target and you've found the quality of Gap clothes to have nose-dived over the last decade.

Funny...I hate the three brands you have deemed appropriate. Especially Hanna -- can someone please explain the appeal?

I also don't understand why people like the Hannah clothes. Ugh

[Anonymous]

Get this, we make 7 figure combine HHI and I not only shop at Goodwill, but also the Goodwill OUTLET! And the Salvatjon Army, which on Wednesdays has 25% off everything. I don't mind taking handing me downs clothes or furniture. I definitely play it forward by offering my hand me downs to others for free. How do you think some people stay well off!

There is nothing dirty about thrift stores, how is that different from antiques or vintage clothing? Some people on here sound like label whores (for lack of a better term), like people who walk around with price tags off their clothes. look at me, see how much I spent for my clothes! It's dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get this, we make 7 figure combine HHI and I not only shop at Goodwill, but also the Goodwill OUTLET! And the Salvatjon Army, which on Wednesdays has 25% off everything. I don't mind taking handing me downs clothes or furniture. I definitely play it forward by offering my hand me downs to others for free. How do you think some people stay well off!

There is nothing dirty about thrift stores, how is that different from antiques or vintage clothing? Some people on here sound like label whores (for lack of a better term), like people who walk around with price tags off their clothes. look at me, see how much I spent for my clothes! It's dumb.

This is pretty much us...just under a million dollar HHI. We max out retirements, have 175k in each of our kids' 529s (oldest kid is 6), and my kids wear name brand thrift-shop purchases Daily. I don't skimp on just them...I just try to buy on sale, use coupons when daily possible...like yogurt...one or two per shopping trip, and we save! My kids' clothes are then used by my sisters' kids and then donated to Goodwill or a church where they are shipped to El Salvador. I have a pretty confident feeling that my DD could careless she wore a previously used nice looking Nordestom dress in 2013 when it is 2025 and she starts college with everything paid for or it is 2045 and she doesn't have to support her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get this, we make 7 figure combine HHI and I not only shop at Goodwill, but also the Goodwill OUTLET! And the Salvatjon Army, which on Wednesdays has 25% off everything. I don't mind taking handing me downs clothes or furniture. I definitely play it forward by offering my hand me downs to others for free. How do you think some people stay well off!

There is nothing dirty about thrift stores, how is that different from antiques or vintage clothing? Some people on here sound like label whores (for lack of a better term), like people who walk around with price tags off their clothes. look at me, see how much I spent for my clothes! It's dumb.

This is pretty much us...just under a million dollar HHI. We max out retirements, have 175k in each of our kids' 529s (oldest kid is 6), and my kids wear name brand thrift-shop purchases Daily. I don't skimp on just them...I just try to buy on sale, use coupons when daily possible...like yogurt...one or two per shopping trip, and we save! My kids' clothes are then used by my sisters' kids and then donated to Goodwill or a church where they are shipped to El Salvador. I have a pretty confident feeling that my DD could careless she wore a previously used nice looking Nordestom dress in 2013 when it is 2025 and she starts college with everything paid for or it is 2045 and she doesn't have to support her parents.

I am being very honest here and not snarky at all - I feel like I could learn a lot about money from both of you. Our HHI is much much lower, but we try to buy on sale, use coupons when possible, and I also shop at consignment stores. We also donate back as well. It has taken me a long, long time to learn that if I blow all of our income on brand new items that we will always be perpetually spending and not saving- and never be well off. There have been many, many studies on the mindset and socio norms of those with incomes and net worth of seven figures or greater- and I am trying to learn a lot about money management from those because my own parents were and still are the label whores and spenders. So any advice you could share, I for one would be all ears!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$700k poster seems a little too secure with her station in life. Careful, honey.

$700K poster sounds very, very new money.

[Anonymous]

Stuff that I have purchased at thrift shops;

1. A set of dorm furniture for my youngest son's bedroom (I refinished it);
2. an 12 piece place setting of Pflatzgraf winterberry dishes for Christmas;
3. an 8 piece place setting of Ralph Lauren stoneware for everyday;
4. work clothes for my husband (mostly Brooks Brothers);
5. work clothes for me (Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brothers; lots of other nice labels)
6. casual clothes for me;
7. spare rain jackets and spare winter coats for my sons.


There's a ton of stuff that I would like to have that I can't afford new. I don't care if it's used as long as it is in good shape. People who complain about saving used items "for the deserving poor" are crazy. Americans consume so much stuff that thrift stores stay fully stocked and sell tons of other stuff for resale in other countries. No one is deprived of anything.