What were you in high school (nerd, brain, band geek, jock, druggie, etc.); how did life turn out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My high school had hybrid cliques. For example, the most popular kids were also the smartest Honors & AP classes kids. Not the nerdy kids playing D&D at lunch or the band geeks, those were separate groups. And 90% of the jocks were also Honors & AP class kids. Very few jocks actually fit the dumb jock stereotype. They're all pretty successful now as adults. I've kept in touch with some and I'm just Facebook friends with others.

It seems like the kids who struggle the most as adults are the ones who were the D&D super nerds and the bad kids. Those are the adults I see now when I go back to my hometown. They're the ones working random retail jobs and are just as weird as they were (or just as big of losers as they were back then, when talking about the bad kids).

There was a group of "Elite kids" who were the rich kids. Some were smart and a few were jocks, but for the most part they were dumb, entitled, and spoiled brats. But we all still wanted to be friends with them because they went on the awesome vacations and threw the best parties. Most are either trophy wives or working in the family business and are successful.

The notion that the popular kids and jocks "get what's coming to them" after high school and the nerds take power is really mainly just in the movies. The popular kids and jocks keep being popular and successful because of their personalities. They're outgoing, confident, tenacious, and good net workers.

Actually, it depends from where you hail. In my high school, there were jocks, stoner/musicians/partiers, "drama dorks", marching band kids, those that thought themselves a bit richer and a bit better than everyone else, and a whole lotta kids in the middle. I was in the middle, happy to be friends with everyone, on the periphery. In my high school (a large affluent community, larger and more affluent than the inner suburbs of D.C., since this is anon) you were popular if you were smart, kind, inclusive and had the ability to connect with people. Dressing well didn't hurt.

Funny, decades later, I found this to be true at our class reunion - for the better. [As an adult, I tend to presume that if someone is an unhappy, frustrated, angry, mean and/or gossipy adult, they have always been that way. It didn't occur to me that anyone behaved that way, once they grew up.] Most of the kind people back then are still kind to this day, and it has served them well. There are a handful of couples that happily married each other, and a bunch of people who stayed in town, or returned - but they seem to be happy and doing quite well (real estate is pricey there - I would rather not say where). However, we have also lost at least classmate one to drugs, whom no one would have expected, sadly. I tend to think there are few, if any predictors.

[Anonymous]

Two of the nerds in my high school class are making it HUGE in Hollywood right now writing screenplays. They weren't unpopular, but they were for sure awkward nerds. They wrote the script for a recent blockbuster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of the nerds in my high school class are making it HUGE in Hollywood right now writing screenplays. They weren't unpopular, but they were for sure awkward nerds. They wrote the script for a recent blockbuster.

+1

[Anonymous]

I was also the slutty/party girl type. Had a bit of a rep but was still well liked. Now I'm a mild mannered mother of two and a lawyer at a prestigious organization. Still like a good party but my slutty/druggy days are long-past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also the slutty/party girl type. Had a bit of a rep but was still well liked. Now I'm a mild mannered mother of two and a lawyer at a prestigious organization. Still like a good party but my slutty/druggy days are long-past.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Someone from my high school is a writer on Blackish. They were a complete dork back then, but pretty darn successful now. Not a ton of friends back then either.

I was a geek, not a ton of friends, still a geek, but more friends. I'm FAR better socially now than back then. Married a geek, have a beautiful daughter and are doing very well financially and socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a druggie/nerd. Went on to play rock and roll for a while before going to law school. Now a parent and attorney. Life has turned out fine so far! But I would love it if my kids abstained from drugs and alcohol until at least college. Definitely had a few close calls and feel lucky I was unscathed by my wild years.

Same here: druggie/ nerd. I went to H-B Woodlawn in Arlington in the mid-late 90s, though, so I definitely wasn't in the minority amongst my classmates . DH was the same and had no problems majoring in Chemistry for undergrad because of it, LOLLL. No problems landing good jobs or anything after grauation. We have three little kids and lead a pretty normal life now, although he does occasionally use his skills to make marijuana oil for friends and family who suffer from cancer.

Cannabis oil is a thing today. More and more people recognize it's beneficial properties, huge food and pharma corporations implement marijuana into their products. I am sure in 5-10 % we will witness legalize in the most of countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My high school had hybrid cliques. For example, the most popular kids were also the smartest Honors & AP classes kids. Not the nerdy kids playing D&D at lunch or the band geeks, those were separate groups. And 90% of the jocks were also Honors & AP class kids. Very few jocks actually fit the dumb jock stereotype. They're all pretty successful now as adults. I've kept in touch with some and I'm just Facebook friends with others.

It seems like the kids who struggle the most as adults are the ones who were the D&D super nerds and the bad kids. Those are the adults I see now when I go back to my hometown. They're the ones working random retail jobs and are just as weird as they were (or just as big of losers as they were back then, when talking about the bad kids).

There was a group of "Elite kids" who were the rich kids. Some were smart and a few were jocks, but for the most part they were dumb, entitled, and spoiled brats. But we all still wanted to be friends with them because they went on the awesome vacations and threw the best parties. Most are either trophy wives or working in the family business and are successful.

The notion that the popular kids and jocks "get what's coming to them" after high school and the nerds take power is really mainly just in the movies. The popular kids and jocks keep being popular and successful because of their personalities. They're outgoing, confident, tenacious, and good net workers.

I had similar experience. I was semi-popular kid (had my own circle of friends, most of whom were very popular), top students in the class who went to top schools. I ended up getting three degrees and relatively successful and love what I am doing now. One of my daughters was a cheerleader in HS and got admitted to three Ivy League schools in very technical field. She can be nerdy when she is into the research. But overall, very social and interesting person. The younger is still in school, top student. I think she is balancing very well academics and social life.

It seems like kids take a lot from the parents, so if OP's social skills and social life rather limited (nothing wrong with that as long as you are love it), then her children will more likely struggle with social skills.

[Anonymous]

I was a pothead, dropped lots of acid, was pretty damn messed up even through most of college. I’m a successful business owner now with a good family. You would never guess my past.

[Anonymous]

What were you in high school: Nerd

How did life turn out: Engineer.

So, yeah, pretty much according to script.

[Anonymous]

Nerdy cheerleader. All AP classes, yet still captain of cheerleading squad. I also played soccer.

Lawyer now.

[Anonymous]

Smartie “butterfly” who never landed in a solid group.

First half of HS hung out with kinda-nerdy half of the cool kids. So sporty (soccer, track, cross country), cool preps?

Later in HS, I’d call me a cute, friendly nerd: was friendly with everyone, kept to myself mostly. Choir geek but not in it socially. best friends were in two different grades from me. Not lonely on weekends, but during school felt a little alone. In fact senior year, on half the days I had early work release—did not even have lunch block at school. Did 99% of the APs offered. Church a lot, but I was edgy as far as the church crowd went. (most of the church kids were rich preppy)

SAHM now. I know most wouldn’t call that ‘successful.’ Think of me as a very normal, kind, cute but not uppity person. Good with little kids, totally happy. Dreamer who doesn’t worry about social stuff too much, and who gets a nice vacation every now and then.

[Anonymous]

I was that mean punk rock girl who got in fights and scared the cheerleaders (though I think I did all that to hide that I also got all As). Today I am a successful mom of 1. Hubby and I are both in marketing. Happy suburban family.

[Anonymous]

I think the Hollywood story of "nerds rule the world and the cheerleaders burn out by 30" is mainly (or only?) true in rural areas.

I grew up in a tiny school in the middle of nowhere and there were about 5 of us in the class who were reasonably smart and nerdy and left the area after graduation and became successful to one degree or another. The rest of the class (including the popular athletes and cheerleaders) never left the home town or if they did, they returned right after college. Most are still there and working blue collar or simple white collar jobs.

My husband grew up in a wealthy, educated area similar to DC and went to a large high school where the popular kids were the smart ones who had their "sh#$%t together". The top 10 kids in his class were super smart and almost all super dynamic people who are now the heads of companies, etc. He graduated about #5/400 and is now an internationally known (in his field) physician. His brains got him into medical school but it was his people skills that advanced his career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Low income nerd, introvert, and jock. High school was VERY hard. I didn't get the grades the really good nerds got. I wasn't super-social because I was introverted. And I was good at sports, but not a star. I didn't hate high school, but it sure wasn't a time that I bloomed. I did much better in college.

I think teaching kids to be resilient is key, regardless of their innate personalities. Teach them to problem solve, make sure they have an expansive social network (not just school, for example, but outside groups), provide them with opportunities to succeed, remind them that some things will come easily while other things require hard work. And that as they become adults, their world gets bigger, with lots of different types of people in it. That in itself makes it much easier to fit in somewhere (and be successful at something she likes to do).

As for successful or not? I'm a lawyer, married, one kid, good job, healthy, and get to pursue some hobbies like travel. I'm not a superstar of any sort. But my life is good.

My brother, who was not great at school or sports, was Mr. Popular. He was handsome, had the best clothes, best haircut, best car, best girlfriends. His life is very much defined by struggle now, in his late 30s. Divorced, problems with his kids, struggling with his job. This is all anecdotal, of course, but his maintaining his focus on being popular and having the prettiest girlfriend/wife led to his failure to not develop other aspects of his life. "Pretty" and "handsome" and "cool car" don't get you through the tough times everyone faces eventually. Focus instead on being more well-rounded and resilient.

.

+1

Resilience is key, OP. Too many moms are over involved in high school, which just hurts the situation.