Did your child write a thank you note as a gentle reminder? |
It's really not |
Because that’s when they have time to get it done. It’s not late |
No, it literally is NOT part of our job. It isn’t in our contracts. We are provided no time and our administrative team supports us when we say no. I have coworkers who refuse to write them. I still write them and I do a very good job. In 24 years, I’ve never submitted a letter past the deadline. But each year I get closer to refusing, too. A little gratitude goes a long way. Kicking the people who are still helping doesn’t seem to be an effective strategy if you’re asking for a favor. |
NP. You may have an issue but it is your own issue. If you get a bill and pay it on the due date, are you in the wrong? Sure the business would prefer you send it in earlier but you really aren’t required to. Your anxiety and lack of ability to trust your kid’s teacher to do what he or she has committed to is a “you” problem. |
First off thank you for being a teacher- it is critical yet under paid and often under appreciated job. Too late for this year but our school has what I think is a great system for recommendation letters. In the spring of junior year they ask the students to rank list the teachers that they want recommendation letters from. They also ask the teachers to list which juniors they would be happy to write recommendations for. The goal of the exercise is to 1)force the kids to get their requests, 2) balance the workload so no one teacher is overwhelmed and 3) prevent the negative situation where a teacher is writing a recommendation for a student they don't feel they know well or can unreservedly recommend. They also have students and parents write up brag sheets. You might try suggesting to your administration. |
How is this a favor? Who is my kid supposed to ask? My kid asked politely, said thank you and will say thank you again. We gave gifts to the teaches who are providing them. All I ask is for them to follow through and get it in on time; why is that so hard for you to understand? |
No one is disagreeing with this. The problem is the expectation that this happen on YOUR timeline. The teacher hasn't missed a deadline. There is no issue here. And yes, the teacher is doing your kid a favor. It's great that your kid is respectful and appreciative. |
I don't think I'm being unreasonable to wonder where the letter is when it's the last minute before the deadline. It's not like my kid's future is riding on this or anything. |
They are about to miss the deadline - that's the issue. Should I just sit back and wait for it to be actually missed? That's what you suggest? |
Then go to your union and ask it to negotiate for time to do this. It has to be a part of a high school teacher's job when every college requires them. Your co workers who refuse really suck, they should not be teachers if they refuse to do this for kids. What would kids do if all teachers said no? |
If you've thanks the teacher recently, serving as a reminder, there's not much else you can do. You're inventing a problem that doesn't exist yet. This teacher has two days left to submit the rec. She's probably going to complete them on Saturday and submit them then. That doesn't mean they're last minute. That just means she's not going to spend any more time on them. I submitted all mine a few weeks ago, but I definitely had years where I wrote them in the weeks before the deadline and then tweaked until the due date. Everything was always in on time. |
And they are on time. As I wrote, I’ve never sent one in late and I’ve sent in hundreds. Many in September, but some on 11/1. It happens. Snapping at teachers because a letter MIGHT be late isn’t helpful. The deadline hasn’t passed. Let a teacher slip up and miss the deadline before you bring out the pitchforks. |
If you were my mom, I wouldn’t tell you about the status of the teacher recs or flat out lie to you if you asked - that’s would be the only way to deal with your anxiety. If you were my kid who is stressed that people don’t do what they are asked to do, I would talk to you about how trusting people often leads to better outcomes in interpersonal relationships. If I were the kid worried that my teacher wouldn’t meet the deadline because I am a stress basket, I would have talked to them ahead of time and asked if they would be willing to get the letter in a week early because I have anxiety. I would explain that I am working on it but wanted to ask for their support in addition to the huge favor they are already doing by writing a rec. And I would never choose a teacher who had a reputation for being late. |
| Don't your school counselors help manage the recommendations? Ours do and set deadlines for the teachers to meet much like they set deadlines for the kids to request transcripts. Since their office is the one sending all the supporting documents it seems to work well. |