Do men love their kids?

[Anonymous]

He didn't really connect with the kid until the birth! Of the kid! Are you serious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, men love their children.

But not in the same way as women. Men's priority is the woman with whom they are sleeping. If that relationship ends (widowed, divorced), they will prioritize finding a new woman to sleep with, and it is very clear that finding and establishing this new relationship comes before their existing children.

Men seem to struggle with maintaining their relationship with children when the children's mother disappears.

I think the opposite is true. Men tend to form stronger relationships with their children without a mother present.

I agree with you. The above pp must only know some narcissists or messed-up losers. DH and I love each other; we are soul mates. Thirty years strong and going. I would ditch him in a second if he did something to abuse our kids. And he would ditch me in a second for the kids if I was some abusive mom.

Mature and confident men can love a woman and love and be there for their kids. Only pathetic losers put sex partners above their kids and their families. But, we know there are a lot of those, as many post about such partners on dcum.

Interesting. I've known two women who would have said what you have written here. After each died, their husbands changed radically as soon as they remarried. And they remarried quickly.

How old were their kids when their wives died? Did they stop being loving fathers to their kids? Then again, maybe those women lied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, Dh loves our kids. Here are some signs. When DD was a newborn, she had insane reflux and never slept. He worked, and I was SAHM, and three nights per week, he slept with her on his chest. He drove from his job in Canada at least once a month for over 11 hours just to spend weekends with the kids during the pandemic.
When they were old enough to ride bikes but still in elementary school, he would take bike rides with them that were a couple of hours long and stop for ice cream and other snacks.

I have million examples, but not sure what would you take as an example of love?

I would say that he was incredibly moved when I gave birth to our first born and thanked me for giving him a child.
They are now young adults out of college and working, and his love for them is even stronger.

This is the difference between men and women. For men, it’s acceptable to move to another country as long as they spend one weekend a month with their kids. If a mother did that, she’d be labeled a bad mother for leaving her kids.

It’s different kinds of love. Men love their kids but put their desires first. Women love their kids and put their kids first.

He did this while they were in college and then employed after finishing college, and fun fact we were both working in Canada then. He went to see the kids much more than I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A better question is how many wives love their children more than they live their husband. Close to 100%, I’d say.[


That's not a fair question, parental love is the purest form of affection, no other relationship can compete with that, it's just biology. It works the same for both parents.

Actually it’s not the same for both parents. In terms of evolutionary biology, a woman is wholly invested in her children because she may mit have many more, and if she does it will take time and resources (the latter need means she should find and keep a partner or team up with other mothers to collectively raise their children). For men, the biological imperative is to have as many children as possible to ensure his genes survive into the next generation. That means spreading his seed around. It also means he is probably not as invested in any single child as much as the mother of the child is.

Now, we have changed all this culturally over tens of thousands of years until we have arrived at the point where we value monogamy among parents and equal devotion to the children. But the biology evolves more slowly than the culture, and so we have women who feel that their husbands don’t live the children as much as they do, and men who continue to check out other women (even if they remain faithful to their wives).

[Anonymous]

*love* not live, again. Fat thumbs.

[Anonymous]

My ex loves his kids. But he loves himself more. His decisions benefit him, not them. I have realized that he is somebody who is not meant to be a full time father. Its best we all are aware of it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex loves his kids. But he loves himself more. His decisions benefit him, not them. I have realized that he is somebody who is not meant to be a full time father. Its best we all are aware of it now.

+1