Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:At what age does spreading out a selection of foods and letting your child pick what they are going to eat stop? Because most people don't eat meals at a buffet. Most people eat meals like this: appetizer, main course, dessert. So at some point you're doing your DC a disservice to continue letting them act like a toddler learning to eat and not teaching them to eat like everyone else. What point is that? My guess is when they enter school. OP's child is no longer a toddler.


You should read up on DOR but it’s not “a buffet of food” it’s several items (like a sandwich, yogurt, berries and an oatmeal cookie for example!) all of which you are fine with your DC making their whole meal. Then how much and which items they eat is up to them. Kid wants to have just yogurt today, fine, kid wants to have second sandwich, fine. It’s a a much more adult way of eating because an adult isn’t forced to eat whatever items another adult puts in front of them, and if they dislike something they’ll just eat more of something else.


So at what age does that end?


Well, how old are you? Because that’s how you probably eat as an adult.


No, as a matter of fact I don't. If I ate dessert first I would be in terrible health.


What a weird idea. If you eat the same food in a different order it doesn’t impact your health unless you think offering nutritionally balanced meals means every meal has cake.


I eat the healthy food first, because I'm a mature adult and I realize those are the foods that my body needs to stay healthy. Then if I have room leftover, I eat the dessert. If I"m full, I only eat a few bites because dessert is good.

This is actually STANDARD PRACTICE all over the world, yet you are calling it a weird idea.

This "let them choose what to eat" idea is for children just learning how to feed themselves. It's not how most people eat past the age of 4. Let your kids grow up. They are no longer toddlers in preschool. They can learn to adapt themselves to a group setting -- and if they can't, or if mommy insists they don't have to, they're in for a world of problems in the coming years. Good luck with that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At what age does spreading out a selection of foods and letting your child pick what they are going to eat stop? Because most people don't eat meals at a buffet. Most people eat meals like this: appetizer, main course, dessert. So at some point you're doing your DC a disservice to continue letting them act like a toddler learning to eat and not teaching them to eat like everyone else. What point is that? My guess is when they enter school. OP's child is no longer a toddler.


You should read up on DOR but it’s not “a buffet of food” it’s several items (like a sandwich, yogurt, berries and an oatmeal cookie for example!) all of which you are fine with your DC making their whole meal. Then how much and which items they eat is up to them. Kid wants to have just yogurt today, fine, kid wants to have second sandwich, fine. It’s a a much more adult way of eating because an adult isn’t forced to eat whatever items another adult puts in front of them, and if they dislike something they’ll just eat more of something else.


So at what age does that end?


Well, how old are you? Because that’s how you probably eat as an adult.


No, as a matter of fact I don't. If I ate dessert first I would be in terrible health.


What a weird idea. If you eat the same food in a different order it doesn’t impact your health unless you think offering nutritionally balanced meals means every meal has cake.


I eat the healthy food first, because I'm a mature adult and I realize those are the foods that my body needs to stay healthy. Then if I have room leftover, I eat the dessert. If I"m full, I only eat a few bites because dessert is good.

This is actually STANDARD PRACTICE all over the world, yet you are calling it a weird idea.

This "let them choose what to eat" idea is for children just learning how to feed themselves. It's not how most people eat past the age of 4. Let your kids grow up. They are no longer toddlers in preschool. They can learn to adapt themselves to a group setting -- and if they can't, or if mommy insists they don't have to, they're in for a world of problems in the coming years. Good luck with that.


Do you eat dessert at every meal? Because that’s where your health problems are arising. If you have carrots, chicken, cucumber and yogurt dip at a meal, it is nutritionally irrelevant whether you eat the cucumbers before the carrots. The same is true of a toddler eating oatmeal before yogurt.
Anonymous
Just say ‘some people are more strict than others about that” and give her half a sandwich instead of a whole one. Problem solved. She needs to respect her teacher and you will do far more harm by undermining that or alienating the teacher.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.


But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.


She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.


We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.


The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.


Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.


Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.



Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.


My goodness. So many parents who don't want to support and back up the teacher.

Take a step back. What should your DC be learning in preschool? How to follow another adult's rules.


I would call myself a parent who is responsible for my child getting their whole lunch, even if that means I need to explain to the teacher what is in that lunch. It’s not my job to “support and back up” a teacher who leaves a kid hungry for most of the day because she didn’t like the order in which she was eating her food.

Following rules is important. It is, however, not as important to a 4 y/o brain than getting enough food, which is basically the minimum standard of care.


Did she say "No cookies allowed"? No. She said, eat the cookies last. Which 99% of people across the globe would think is the normal way to eat a meal. Your DD could have eaten lunch in any order at all and been just as full.

She came home all cranky and upset because it was her first day of preschool. What's your excuse?


I’m the poster you’re responding to but I’m not the OP. The OP states that because her daughter was upset she didn’t get to eat her yoghurt, her fruit OR her cookies, and the teacher made her stop before she was finished. Rather than do the teacher equivalent of sending the kid to bed without supper oe being weirdly rigid about the order of food the child ate, she could have just let a hungry child eat her lunch.


This is not a nanny situation. It's a classroom filled with kids. You should volunteer some time in the classroom so you know what it's like. Kids might whine for snack but they have to wait until snack time even if they're hungry. It's really not cruel in any way. It's growing up and learning to participate in a group of other kids who all have to learn to do things as a group instead of as individuals.

They also have to sit still at certain times and be quiet so everyone can hear, go to the bathroom and wash their hands, stand in line to go out, use crayons when they want to use clay, etc. They have to learn how to do these things. It's not cruel at all. But if you have a nanny and prefer your child continue to get individual attention then keep them home another year.


Denying a child half her packed lunch because she ate it in an order that displeases you is absolutely cruel. Expecting a child to go hungry for hours because *you did not like the order she was eating her food in* even sounds absurd and rigid. She wasn’t asking the teacher for cookies or snacks, she wasn’t asking for special treatment, she was trying to eat the lunch her parents packed.


No one was denying her her food. So dramatic. You sound as rigid in your thinking and demands as the preschooler. You REALLY AND TRULY don't understand why an adult in charge of a small child would tell them to eat the cookie last?

You need to teach your kid to deal with other adults being in charge of her. You need to accept this fact, too.


Again, did you not read the OP? Half of the child’s packed lunch came home because the teacher would rather make a 4 y/o cry over baked oatmeal than let her peacefully eat the lunch her parents packed for her in the order she chose.

Happily, though, you’re wrong in your last point. If I ever had a teacher refuse to let my child eat the lunch I packed them I would not “accept” it, I would call the teacher and kindly let them know that my child was to be allowed to eat anything I packed for her. In the very unlikely situation that a teacher didn’t understand that guidence I would inform the school leadership/principal of those instructions. I have a child who is 97% for height and 18% for weight you can rest assured I care more about her not going hungry than I do about a teachers opinion of the order in which she eats her lunch.




So many overbearing blowhards on this thread. Yeah, you give that teacher a piece of your mind. You go act like she's your employee, not a professional. You go do that.


I don’t need to. Every teacher my child has has understood that having a child who eats a full, healthy lunch means everyone gets a happier afternoon and a better nap than a kid who wasn’t allowed to eat half of her food. It’s pretty much the lowest possible bar for being in charge of children, especially young children: feed them.


On Day 1, establish rules. Probably many of the kids weren't eating their lunch that day anyway. They'll figure it out - unless their mothers come in and snowplow the preschool teacher.


I’m sorry is this a preschool or a prison? On day one “establish rules” like “you only get to eat your food if I like the order you eat it in”? And really show off your power over four year olds by only letting them eat half their food? This is some dystopian preschool you’re envisioning.

I never realized one of the many things I have to be grateful to the teachers in my child’s life for is letting her eat her lunch, but I guess learn something new every day.


Or, you just didn't hear every moment of the day from your 4 year old. And your DC figured it out without your assistance.


Our school sends daily reports on what they eat— I’ve never gotten a “your child ate half her food and then I made her cry and didn’t give her time for the rest of it” and honestly I have more respect for her teachers than to think they’d ever treat any child that way. But sure maybe they’ve got nothing better to do in her class than police to make sure she eats the apple slices before the ricotta and they’re just keeping that under wraps, but somehow I doubt it.


School? Your SCHOOL sends home daily reports on what the eat? SCHOOL? Are you sure you don't mean daycare?


Yes my preschool sends home daily reports on food, classwork, language and potty. Only one of the preschools we visited didn’t do this.


LOL no. You mean daycare. Not school.


I mean the state board has accredited it as a preschool but I’m sure you know better.


So your daycare center at your job moved your kid into the "preschool room" ?


NP. What exactly are you having a problem with here?


I think it’s the idea that preschools report to the parents about how a child does on food etc that day, which probably isn’t the case in a public school preK setting but is definitely the case in most private preschools in the area.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At what age does spreading out a selection of foods and letting your child pick what they are going to eat stop? Because most people don't eat meals at a buffet. Most people eat meals like this: appetizer, main course, dessert. So at some point you're doing your DC a disservice to continue letting them act like a toddler learning to eat and not teaching them to eat like everyone else. What point is that? My guess is when they enter school. OP's child is no longer a toddler.


You should read up on DOR but it’s not “a buffet of food” it’s several items (like a sandwich, yogurt, berries and an oatmeal cookie for example!) all of which you are fine with your DC making their whole meal. Then how much and which items they eat is up to them. Kid wants to have just yogurt today, fine, kid wants to have second sandwich, fine. It’s a a much more adult way of eating because an adult isn’t forced to eat whatever items another adult puts in front of them, and if they dislike something they’ll just eat more of something else.


So at what age does that end?


Well, how old are you? Because that’s how you probably eat as an adult.


No, as a matter of fact I don't. If I ate dessert first I would be in terrible health.


What a weird idea. If you eat the same food in a different order it doesn’t impact your health unless you think offering nutritionally balanced meals means every meal has cake.


I eat the healthy food first, because I'm a mature adult and I realize those are the foods that my body needs to stay healthy. Then if I have room leftover, I eat the dessert. If I"m full, I only eat a few bites because dessert is good.

This is actually STANDARD PRACTICE all over the world, yet you are calling it a weird idea.

This "let them choose what to eat" idea is for children just learning how to feed themselves. It's not how most people eat past the age of 4. Let your kids grow up. They are no longer toddlers in preschool. They can learn to adapt themselves to a group setting -- and if they can't, or if mommy insists they don't have to, they're in for a world of problems in the coming years. Good luck with that.


Do you eat dessert at every meal? Because that’s where your health problems are arising. If you have carrots, chicken, cucumber and yogurt dip at a meal, it is nutritionally irrelevant whether you eat the cucumbers before the carrots. The same is true of a toddler eating oatmeal before yogurt.


Let's not pretend we don't understand the issue. Order is not the issue -- except for cookies, and yes, most people consider "baked oatmeal" to be cookies. Most people teach their children to eat the cookies last. Most do.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.


But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.


She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.


We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.


The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.


Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.


Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.



Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.


My goodness. So many parents who don't want to support and back up the teacher.

Take a step back. What should your DC be learning in preschool? How to follow another adult's rules.


I would call myself a parent who is responsible for my child getting their whole lunch, even if that means I need to explain to the teacher what is in that lunch. It’s not my job to “support and back up” a teacher who leaves a kid hungry for most of the day because she didn’t like the order in which she was eating her food.

Following rules is important. It is, however, not as important to a 4 y/o brain than getting enough food, which is basically the minimum standard of care.


Did she say "No cookies allowed"? No. She said, eat the cookies last. Which 99% of people across the globe would think is the normal way to eat a meal. Your DD could have eaten lunch in any order at all and been just as full.

She came home all cranky and upset because it was her first day of preschool. What's your excuse?


I’m the poster you’re responding to but I’m not the OP. The OP states that because her daughter was upset she didn’t get to eat her yoghurt, her fruit OR her cookies, and the teacher made her stop before she was finished. Rather than do the teacher equivalent of sending the kid to bed without supper oe being weirdly rigid about the order of food the child ate, she could have just let a hungry child eat her lunch.


This is not a nanny situation. It's a classroom filled with kids. You should volunteer some time in the classroom so you know what it's like. Kids might whine for snack but they have to wait until snack time even if they're hungry. It's really not cruel in any way. It's growing up and learning to participate in a group of other kids who all have to learn to do things as a group instead of as individuals.

They also have to sit still at certain times and be quiet so everyone can hear, go to the bathroom and wash their hands, stand in line to go out, use crayons when they want to use clay, etc. They have to learn how to do these things. It's not cruel at all. But if you have a nanny and prefer your child continue to get individual attention then keep them home another year.


Denying a child half her packed lunch because she ate it in an order that displeases you is absolutely cruel. Expecting a child to go hungry for hours because *you did not like the order she was eating her food in* even sounds absurd and rigid. She wasn’t asking the teacher for cookies or snacks, she wasn’t asking for special treatment, she was trying to eat the lunch her parents packed.


No one was denying her her food. So dramatic. You sound as rigid in your thinking and demands as the preschooler. You REALLY AND TRULY don't understand why an adult in charge of a small child would tell them to eat the cookie last?

You need to teach your kid to deal with other adults being in charge of her. You need to accept this fact, too.


Again, did you not read the OP? Half of the child’s packed lunch came home because the teacher would rather make a 4 y/o cry over baked oatmeal than let her peacefully eat the lunch her parents packed for her in the order she chose.

Happily, though, you’re wrong in your last point. If I ever had a teacher refuse to let my child eat the lunch I packed them I would not “accept” it, I would call the teacher and kindly let them know that my child was to be allowed to eat anything I packed for her. In the very unlikely situation that a teacher didn’t understand that guidence I would inform the school leadership/principal of those instructions. I have a child who is 97% for height and 18% for weight you can rest assured I care more about her not going hungry than I do about a teachers opinion of the order in which she eats her lunch.




So many overbearing blowhards on this thread. Yeah, you give that teacher a piece of your mind. You go act like she's your employee, not a professional. You go do that.


I don’t need to. Every teacher my child has has understood that having a child who eats a full, healthy lunch means everyone gets a happier afternoon and a better nap than a kid who wasn’t allowed to eat half of her food. It’s pretty much the lowest possible bar for being in charge of children, especially young children: feed them.


On Day 1, establish rules. Probably many of the kids weren't eating their lunch that day anyway. They'll figure it out - unless their mothers come in and snowplow the preschool teacher.


I’m sorry is this a preschool or a prison? On day one “establish rules” like “you only get to eat your food if I like the order you eat it in”? And really show off your power over four year olds by only letting them eat half their food? This is some dystopian preschool you’re envisioning.

I never realized one of the many things I have to be grateful to the teachers in my child’s life for is letting her eat her lunch, but I guess learn something new every day.


Or, you just didn't hear every moment of the day from your 4 year old. And your DC figured it out without your assistance.


Our school sends daily reports on what they eat— I’ve never gotten a “your child ate half her food and then I made her cry and didn’t give her time for the rest of it” and honestly I have more respect for her teachers than to think they’d ever treat any child that way. But sure maybe they’ve got nothing better to do in her class than police to make sure she eats the apple slices before the ricotta and they’re just keeping that under wraps, but somehow I doubt it.


School? Your SCHOOL sends home daily reports on what the eat? SCHOOL? Are you sure you don't mean daycare?


Yes my preschool sends home daily reports on food, classwork, language and potty. Only one of the preschools we visited didn’t do this.


LOL no. You mean daycare. Not school.


I mean the state board has accredited it as a preschool but I’m sure you know better.


So your daycare center at your job moved your kid into the "preschool room" ?


NP. What exactly are you having a problem with here?


I think it’s the idea that preschools report to the parents about how a child does on food etc that day, which probably isn’t the case in a public school preK setting but is definitely the case in most private preschools in the area.


Based on the length of the school day, it definitely sounds like public preschool. The hours are too long for private preschool and too short for daycare.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.


But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.


She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.


We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.


The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.


Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.


Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.



Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.


My goodness. So many parents who don't want to support and back up the teacher.

Take a step back. What should your DC be learning in preschool? How to follow another adult's rules.


I would call myself a parent who is responsible for my child getting their whole lunch, even if that means I need to explain to the teacher what is in that lunch. It’s not my job to “support and back up” a teacher who leaves a kid hungry for most of the day because she didn’t like the order in which she was eating her food.

Following rules is important. It is, however, not as important to a 4 y/o brain than getting enough food, which is basically the minimum standard of care.


Did she say "No cookies allowed"? No. She said, eat the cookies last. Which 99% of people across the globe would think is the normal way to eat a meal. Your DD could have eaten lunch in any order at all and been just as full.

She came home all cranky and upset because it was her first day of preschool. What's your excuse?


I’m the poster you’re responding to but I’m not the OP. The OP states that because her daughter was upset she didn’t get to eat her yoghurt, her fruit OR her cookies, and the teacher made her stop before she was finished. Rather than do the teacher equivalent of sending the kid to bed without supper oe being weirdly rigid about the order of food the child ate, she could have just let a hungry child eat her lunch.


This is not a nanny situation. It's a classroom filled with kids. You should volunteer some time in the classroom so you know what it's like. Kids might whine for snack but they have to wait until snack time even if they're hungry. It's really not cruel in any way. It's growing up and learning to participate in a group of other kids who all have to learn to do things as a group instead of as individuals.

They also have to sit still at certain times and be quiet so everyone can hear, go to the bathroom and wash their hands, stand in line to go out, use crayons when they want to use clay, etc. They have to learn how to do these things. It's not cruel at all. But if you have a nanny and prefer your child continue to get individual attention then keep them home another year.


Denying a child half her packed lunch because she ate it in an order that displeases you is absolutely cruel. Expecting a child to go hungry for hours because *you did not like the order she was eating her food in* even sounds absurd and rigid. She wasn’t asking the teacher for cookies or snacks, she wasn’t asking for special treatment, she was trying to eat the lunch her parents packed.


No one was denying her her food. So dramatic. You sound as rigid in your thinking and demands as the preschooler. You REALLY AND TRULY don't understand why an adult in charge of a small child would tell them to eat the cookie last?

You need to teach your kid to deal with other adults being in charge of her. You need to accept this fact, too.


Again, did you not read the OP? Half of the child’s packed lunch came home because the teacher would rather make a 4 y/o cry over baked oatmeal than let her peacefully eat the lunch her parents packed for her in the order she chose.

Happily, though, you’re wrong in your last point. If I ever had a teacher refuse to let my child eat the lunch I packed them I would not “accept” it, I would call the teacher and kindly let them know that my child was to be allowed to eat anything I packed for her. In the very unlikely situation that a teacher didn’t understand that guidence I would inform the school leadership/principal of those instructions. I have a child who is 97% for height and 18% for weight you can rest assured I care more about her not going hungry than I do about a teachers opinion of the order in which she eats her lunch.




So many overbearing blowhards on this thread. Yeah, you give that teacher a piece of your mind. You go act like she's your employee, not a professional. You go do that.


I don’t need to. Every teacher my child has has understood that having a child who eats a full, healthy lunch means everyone gets a happier afternoon and a better nap than a kid who wasn’t allowed to eat half of her food. It’s pretty much the lowest possible bar for being in charge of children, especially young children: feed them.


On Day 1, establish rules. Probably many of the kids weren't eating their lunch that day anyway. They'll figure it out - unless their mothers come in and snowplow the preschool teacher.


I’m sorry is this a preschool or a prison? On day one “establish rules” like “you only get to eat your food if I like the order you eat it in”? And really show off your power over four year olds by only letting them eat half their food? This is some dystopian preschool you’re envisioning.

I never realized one of the many things I have to be grateful to the teachers in my child’s life for is letting her eat her lunch, but I guess learn something new every day.


Or, you just didn't hear every moment of the day from your 4 year old. And your DC figured it out without your assistance.


Our school sends daily reports on what they eat— I’ve never gotten a “your child ate half her food and then I made her cry and didn’t give her time for the rest of it” and honestly I have more respect for her teachers than to think they’d ever treat any child that way. But sure maybe they’ve got nothing better to do in her class than police to make sure she eats the apple slices before the ricotta and they’re just keeping that under wraps, but somehow I doubt it.


School? Your SCHOOL sends home daily reports on what the eat? SCHOOL? Are you sure you don't mean daycare?


Yes my preschool sends home daily reports on food, classwork, language and potty. Only one of the preschools we visited didn’t do this.


LOL no. You mean daycare. Not school.


I mean the state board has accredited it as a preschool but I’m sure you know better.


So your daycare center at your job moved your kid into the "preschool room" ?


NP. What exactly are you having a problem with here?


I think it’s the idea that preschools report to the parents about how a child does on food etc that day, which probably isn’t the case in a public school preK setting but is definitely the case in most private preschools in the area.


It sounded like that PP is like a preschool truther or something…like preschool doesn’t really exist, it’s all just daycare
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I’m a teacher and I think it’s reasonable to say something
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Anonymous wrote:At what age does spreading out a selection of foods and letting your child pick what they are going to eat stop? Because most people don't eat meals at a buffet. Most people eat meals like this: appetizer, main course, dessert. So at some point you're doing your DC a disservice to continue letting them act like a toddler learning to eat and not teaching them to eat like everyone else. What point is that? My guess is when they enter school. OP's child is no longer a toddler.


You should read up on DOR but it’s not “a buffet of food” it’s several items (like a sandwich, yogurt, berries and an oatmeal cookie for example!) all of which you are fine with your DC making their whole meal. Then how much and which items they eat is up to them. Kid wants to have just yogurt today, fine, kid wants to have second sandwich, fine. It’s a a much more adult way of eating because an adult isn’t forced to eat whatever items another adult puts in front of them, and if they dislike something they’ll just eat more of something else.


So at what age does that end?


Well, how old are you? Because that’s how you probably eat as an adult.


No, as a matter of fact I don't. If I ate dessert first I would be in terrible health.


What a weird idea. If you eat the same food in a different order it doesn’t impact your health unless you think offering nutritionally balanced meals means every meal has cake.


I eat the healthy food first, because I'm a mature adult and I realize those are the foods that my body needs to stay healthy. Then if I have room leftover, I eat the dessert. If I"m full, I only eat a few bites because dessert is good.

This is actually STANDARD PRACTICE all over the world, yet you are calling it a weird idea.

This "let them choose what to eat" idea is for children just learning how to feed themselves. It's not how most people eat past the age of 4. Let your kids grow up. They are no longer toddlers in preschool. They can learn to adapt themselves to a group setting -- and if they can't, or if mommy insists they don't have to, they're in for a world of problems in the coming years. Good luck with that.


Do you eat dessert at every meal? Because that’s where your health problems are arising. If you have carrots, chicken, cucumber and yogurt dip at a meal, it is nutritionally irrelevant whether you eat the cucumbers before the carrots. The same is true of a toddler eating oatmeal before yogurt.


Let's not pretend we don't understand the issue. Order is not the issue -- except for cookies, and yes, most people consider "baked oatmeal" to be cookies. Most people teach their children to eat the cookies last. Most do.


The issue is by making some foods special by labeling them dessert you make them more desirable and the foods that must be eaten first (aka foods considered „healthier“) less desirable. This is the opposite of what we want for kids. There is research showing this.

TBH I’d probably avoid the issue by not providing anything that could be considered a dessert but Still would alert the teacher and school that dessert last goes against what we have learned is best for childhood nutrition.
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Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.


But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.


She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.


We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.


The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.


Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.


Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.



Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.


My goodness. So many parents who don't want to support and back up the teacher.

Take a step back. What should your DC be learning in preschool? How to follow another adult's rules.


I would call myself a parent who is responsible for my child getting their whole lunch, even if that means I need to explain to the teacher what is in that lunch. It’s not my job to “support and back up” a teacher who leaves a kid hungry for most of the day because she didn’t like the order in which she was eating her food.

Following rules is important. It is, however, not as important to a 4 y/o brain than getting enough food, which is basically the minimum standard of care.


Did she say "No cookies allowed"? No. She said, eat the cookies last. Which 99% of people across the globe would think is the normal way to eat a meal. Your DD could have eaten lunch in any order at all and been just as full.

She came home all cranky and upset because it was her first day of preschool. What's your excuse?


I’m the poster you’re responding to but I’m not the OP. The OP states that because her daughter was upset she didn’t get to eat her yoghurt, her fruit OR her cookies, and the teacher made her stop before she was finished. Rather than do the teacher equivalent of sending the kid to bed without supper oe being weirdly rigid about the order of food the child ate, she could have just let a hungry child eat her lunch.


This is not a nanny situation. It's a classroom filled with kids. You should volunteer some time in the classroom so you know what it's like. Kids might whine for snack but they have to wait until snack time even if they're hungry. It's really not cruel in any way. It's growing up and learning to participate in a group of other kids who all have to learn to do things as a group instead of as individuals.

They also have to sit still at certain times and be quiet so everyone can hear, go to the bathroom and wash their hands, stand in line to go out, use crayons when they want to use clay, etc. They have to learn how to do these things. It's not cruel at all. But if you have a nanny and prefer your child continue to get individual attention then keep them home another year.


Denying a child half her packed lunch because she ate it in an order that displeases you is absolutely cruel. Expecting a child to go hungry for hours because *you did not like the order she was eating her food in* even sounds absurd and rigid. She wasn’t asking the teacher for cookies or snacks, she wasn’t asking for special treatment, she was trying to eat the lunch her parents packed.


No one was denying her her food. So dramatic. You sound as rigid in your thinking and demands as the preschooler. You REALLY AND TRULY don't understand why an adult in charge of a small child would tell them to eat the cookie last?

You need to teach your kid to deal with other adults being in charge of her. You need to accept this fact, too.


Again, did you not read the OP? Half of the child’s packed lunch came home because the teacher would rather make a 4 y/o cry over baked oatmeal than let her peacefully eat the lunch her parents packed for her in the order she chose.

Happily, though, you’re wrong in your last point. If I ever had a teacher refuse to let my child eat the lunch I packed them I would not “accept” it, I would call the teacher and kindly let them know that my child was to be allowed to eat anything I packed for her. In the very unlikely situation that a teacher didn’t understand that guidence I would inform the school leadership/principal of those instructions. I have a child who is 97% for height and 18% for weight you can rest assured I care more about her not going hungry than I do about a teachers opinion of the order in which she eats her lunch.




So many overbearing blowhards on this thread. Yeah, you give that teacher a piece of your mind. You go act like she's your employee, not a professional. You go do that.


I don’t need to. Every teacher my child has has understood that having a child who eats a full, healthy lunch means everyone gets a happier afternoon and a better nap than a kid who wasn’t allowed to eat half of her food. It’s pretty much the lowest possible bar for being in charge of children, especially young children: feed them.


On Day 1, establish rules. Probably many of the kids weren't eating their lunch that day anyway. They'll figure it out - unless their mothers come in and snowplow the preschool teacher.


I’m sorry is this a preschool or a prison? On day one “establish rules” like “you only get to eat your food if I like the order you eat it in”? And really show off your power over four year olds by only letting them eat half their food? This is some dystopian preschool you’re envisioning.

I never realized one of the many things I have to be grateful to the teachers in my child’s life for is letting her eat her lunch, but I guess learn something new every day.


Or, you just didn't hear every moment of the day from your 4 year old. And your DC figured it out without your assistance.


Our school sends daily reports on what they eat— I’ve never gotten a “your child ate half her food and then I made her cry and didn’t give her time for the rest of it” and honestly I have more respect for her teachers than to think they’d ever treat any child that way. But sure maybe they’ve got nothing better to do in her class than police to make sure she eats the apple slices before the ricotta and they’re just keeping that under wraps, but somehow I doubt it.


School? Your SCHOOL sends home daily reports on what the eat? SCHOOL? Are you sure you don't mean daycare?


Yes my preschool sends home daily reports on food, classwork, language and potty. Only one of the preschools we visited didn’t do this.


LOL no. You mean daycare. Not school.


I mean the state board has accredited it as a preschool but I’m sure you know better.


So your daycare center at your job moved your kid into the "preschool room" ?


NP. What exactly are you having a problem with here?


I think it’s the idea that preschools report to the parents about how a child does on food etc that day, which probably isn’t the case in a public school preK setting but is definitely the case in most private preschools in the area.


DP. A daily report on "food, classwork, language and potty" is definitely not the case at any private preschool in this area that I know of. Maybe a report about a potty accident, since most private preschools require children to be potty trained, and maybe a report that they aren't finishing their food or need more.
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Anonymous wrote:At what age does spreading out a selection of foods and letting your child pick what they are going to eat stop? Because most people don't eat meals at a buffet. Most people eat meals like this: appetizer, main course, dessert. So at some point you're doing your DC a disservice to continue letting them act like a toddler learning to eat and not teaching them to eat like everyone else. What point is that? My guess is when they enter school. OP's child is no longer a toddler.


You should read up on DOR but it’s not “a buffet of food” it’s several items (like a sandwich, yogurt, berries and an oatmeal cookie for example!) all of which you are fine with your DC making their whole meal. Then how much and which items they eat is up to them. Kid wants to have just yogurt today, fine, kid wants to have second sandwich, fine. It’s a a much more adult way of eating because an adult isn’t forced to eat whatever items another adult puts in front of them, and if they dislike something they’ll just eat more of something else.


So at what age does that end?


Well, how old are you? Because that’s how you probably eat as an adult.


No, as a matter of fact I don't. If I ate dessert first I would be in terrible health.


What a weird idea. If you eat the same food in a different order it doesn’t impact your health unless you think offering nutritionally balanced meals means every meal has cake.


I eat the healthy food first, because I'm a mature adult and I realize those are the foods that my body needs to stay healthy. Then if I have room leftover, I eat the dessert. If I"m full, I only eat a few bites because dessert is good.

This is actually STANDARD PRACTICE all over the world, yet you are calling it a weird idea.

This "let them choose what to eat" idea is for children just learning how to feed themselves. It's not how most people eat past the age of 4. Let your kids grow up. They are no longer toddlers in preschool. They can learn to adapt themselves to a group setting -- and if they can't, or if mommy insists they don't have to, they're in for a world of problems in the coming years. Good luck with that.


Do you eat dessert at every meal? Because that’s where your health problems are arising. If you have carrots, chicken, cucumber and yogurt dip at a meal, it is nutritionally irrelevant whether you eat the cucumbers before the carrots. The same is true of a toddler eating oatmeal before yogurt.


Let's not pretend we don't understand the issue. Order is not the issue -- except for cookies, and yes, most people consider "baked oatmeal" to be cookies. Most people teach their children to eat the cookies last. Most do.


The issue is by making some foods special by labeling them dessert you make them more desirable and the foods that must be eaten first (aka foods considered „healthier“) less desirable. This is the opposite of what we want for kids. There is research showing this.

TBH I’d probably avoid the issue by not providing anything that could be considered a dessert but Still would alert the teacher and school that dessert last goes against what we have learned is best for childhood nutrition.


LOL we don't make dessert more desirable by calling it dessert. Human beings are hard-wired to go for sugar.
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Anonymous wrote:At what age does spreading out a selection of foods and letting your child pick what they are going to eat stop? Because most people don't eat meals at a buffet. Most people eat meals like this: appetizer, main course, dessert. So at some point you're doing your DC a disservice to continue letting them act like a toddler learning to eat and not teaching them to eat like everyone else. What point is that? My guess is when they enter school. OP's child is no longer a toddler.


You should read up on DOR but it’s not “a buffet of food” it’s several items (like a sandwich, yogurt, berries and an oatmeal cookie for example!) all of which you are fine with your DC making their whole meal. Then how much and which items they eat is up to them. Kid wants to have just yogurt today, fine, kid wants to have second sandwich, fine. It’s a a much more adult way of eating because an adult isn’t forced to eat whatever items another adult puts in front of them, and if they dislike something they’ll just eat more of something else.


So at what age does that end?


Well, how old are you? Because that’s how you probably eat as an adult.


No, as a matter of fact I don't. If I ate dessert first I would be in terrible health.


What a weird idea. If you eat the same food in a different order it doesn’t impact your health unless you think offering nutritionally balanced meals means every meal has cake.


I eat the healthy food first, because I'm a mature adult and I realize those are the foods that my body needs to stay healthy. Then if I have room leftover, I eat the dessert. If I"m full, I only eat a few bites because dessert is good.

This is actually STANDARD PRACTICE all over the world, yet you are calling it a weird idea.

This "let them choose what to eat" idea is for children just learning how to feed themselves. It's not how most people eat past the age of 4. Let your kids grow up. They are no longer toddlers in preschool. They can learn to adapt themselves to a group setting -- and if they can't, or if mommy insists they don't have to, they're in for a world of problems in the coming years. Good luck with that.


Do you eat dessert at every meal? Because that’s where your health problems are arising. If you have carrots, chicken, cucumber and yogurt dip at a meal, it is nutritionally irrelevant whether you eat the cucumbers before the carrots. The same is true of a toddler eating oatmeal before yogurt.


Let's not pretend we don't understand the issue. Order is not the issue -- except for cookies, and yes, most people consider "baked oatmeal" to be cookies. Most people teach their children to eat the cookies last. Most do.


The issue is by making some foods special by labeling them dessert you make them more desirable and the foods that must be eaten first (aka foods considered „healthier“) less desirable. This is the opposite of what we want for kids. There is research showing this.

TBH I’d probably avoid the issue by not providing anything that could be considered a dessert but Still would alert the teacher and school that dessert last goes against what we have learned is best for childhood nutrition.


If we change the names of foods, then children will grow up to be thin and without eating disorders. But if children hear the word cookie or dessert, then they will become obese, anorexic and bulimic.
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Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.


But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.


She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.


We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.


The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.


Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.


Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.



Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.


My goodness. So many parents who don't want to support and back up the teacher.

Take a step back. What should your DC be learning in preschool? How to follow another adult's rules.


I would call myself a parent who is responsible for my child getting their whole lunch, even if that means I need to explain to the teacher what is in that lunch. It’s not my job to “support and back up” a teacher who leaves a kid hungry for most of the day because she didn’t like the order in which she was eating her food.

Following rules is important. It is, however, not as important to a 4 y/o brain than getting enough food, which is basically the minimum standard of care.


Did she say "No cookies allowed"? No. She said, eat the cookies last. Which 99% of people across the globe would think is the normal way to eat a meal. Your DD could have eaten lunch in any order at all and been just as full.

She came home all cranky and upset because it was her first day of preschool. What's your excuse?


I’m the poster you’re responding to but I’m not the OP. The OP states that because her daughter was upset she didn’t get to eat her yoghurt, her fruit OR her cookies, and the teacher made her stop before she was finished. Rather than do the teacher equivalent of sending the kid to bed without supper oe being weirdly rigid about the order of food the child ate, she could have just let a hungry child eat her lunch.


This is not a nanny situation. It's a classroom filled with kids. You should volunteer some time in the classroom so you know what it's like. Kids might whine for snack but they have to wait until snack time even if they're hungry. It's really not cruel in any way. It's growing up and learning to participate in a group of other kids who all have to learn to do things as a group instead of as individuals.

They also have to sit still at certain times and be quiet so everyone can hear, go to the bathroom and wash their hands, stand in line to go out, use crayons when they want to use clay, etc. They have to learn how to do these things. It's not cruel at all. But if you have a nanny and prefer your child continue to get individual attention then keep them home another year.


Denying a child half her packed lunch because she ate it in an order that displeases you is absolutely cruel. Expecting a child to go hungry for hours because *you did not like the order she was eating her food in* even sounds absurd and rigid. She wasn’t asking the teacher for cookies or snacks, she wasn’t asking for special treatment, she was trying to eat the lunch her parents packed.


No one was denying her her food. So dramatic. You sound as rigid in your thinking and demands as the preschooler. You REALLY AND TRULY don't understand why an adult in charge of a small child would tell them to eat the cookie last?

You need to teach your kid to deal with other adults being in charge of her. You need to accept this fact, too.


Again, did you not read the OP? Half of the child’s packed lunch came home because the teacher would rather make a 4 y/o cry over baked oatmeal than let her peacefully eat the lunch her parents packed for her in the order she chose.

Happily, though, you’re wrong in your last point. If I ever had a teacher refuse to let my child eat the lunch I packed them I would not “accept” it, I would call the teacher and kindly let them know that my child was to be allowed to eat anything I packed for her. In the very unlikely situation that a teacher didn’t understand that guidence I would inform the school leadership/principal of those instructions. I have a child who is 97% for height and 18% for weight you can rest assured I care more about her not going hungry than I do about a teachers opinion of the order in which she eats her lunch.




So many overbearing blowhards on this thread. Yeah, you give that teacher a piece of your mind. You go act like she's your employee, not a professional. You go do that.


I don’t need to. Every teacher my child has has understood that having a child who eats a full, healthy lunch means everyone gets a happier afternoon and a better nap than a kid who wasn’t allowed to eat half of her food. It’s pretty much the lowest possible bar for being in charge of children, especially young children: feed them.


On Day 1, establish rules. Probably many of the kids weren't eating their lunch that day anyway. They'll figure it out - unless their mothers come in and snowplow the preschool teacher.


I’m sorry is this a preschool or a prison? On day one “establish rules” like “you only get to eat your food if I like the order you eat it in”? And really show off your power over four year olds by only letting them eat half their food? This is some dystopian preschool you’re envisioning.

I never realized one of the many things I have to be grateful to the teachers in my child’s life for is letting her eat her lunch, but I guess learn something new every day.


Or, you just didn't hear every moment of the day from your 4 year old. And your DC figured it out without your assistance.


Our school sends daily reports on what they eat— I’ve never gotten a “your child ate half her food and then I made her cry and didn’t give her time for the rest of it” and honestly I have more respect for her teachers than to think they’d ever treat any child that way. But sure maybe they’ve got nothing better to do in her class than police to make sure she eats the apple slices before the ricotta and they’re just keeping that under wraps, but somehow I doubt it.


School? Your SCHOOL sends home daily reports on what the eat? SCHOOL? Are you sure you don't mean daycare?


Yes my preschool sends home daily reports on food, classwork, language and potty. Only one of the preschools we visited didn’t do this.


LOL no. You mean daycare. Not school.


I mean the state board has accredited it as a preschool but I’m sure you know better.


So your daycare center at your job moved your kid into the "preschool room" ?


NP. What exactly are you having a problem with here?


I think it’s the idea that preschools report to the parents about how a child does on food etc that day, which probably isn’t the case in a public school preK setting but is definitely the case in most private preschools in the area.


DP. A daily report on "food, classwork, language and potty" is definitely not the case at any private preschool in this area that I know of. Maybe a report about a potty accident, since most private preschools require children to be potty trained, and maybe a report that they aren't finishing their food or need more.


Yeah, that sounds more like a note a dogwalker would leave. A preschool is definitely not writing notes to every set of parents, every day, letting them know what their kid ate and whether or not they pooped.
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FFS people this is about lunch time management. If EVERY kid brought in a cookie shaped item, Oreos, Organic banana cookies, hemp seed cookies, what have you then the teacher has to know exactly what appropriate cookie is allowed as a middle course vs. not. And if the teacher just lets everyone eat their cookies whenever no matter what type? Then you’d would be pissed if Oreo eating kid gets to eat theirs before their sandwich and now your kid wants Oreos. “Ugh why couldn’t the teacher tell that kid NO? Now I have to explain to my child why that kids snack is inferior.”


OP you offer to help the teacher with lunchtime. Have fun.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:FFS people this is about lunch time management. If EVERY kid brought in a cookie shaped item, Oreos, Organic banana cookies, hemp seed cookies, what have you then the teacher has to know exactly what appropriate cookie is allowed as a middle course vs. not. And if the teacher just lets everyone eat their cookies whenever no matter what type? Then you’d would be pissed if Oreo eating kid gets to eat theirs before their sandwich and now your kid wants Oreos. “Ugh why couldn’t the teacher tell that kid NO? Now I have to explain to my child why that kids snack is inferior.”


OP you offer to help the teacher with lunchtime. Have fun.


This is not a real problem. Kids with allergies learn early that what another kid is eating is completely irrelevant to what they get to eat. Then the teacher doesn’t need to worry about policing anyone’s lunch and the parents don’t need to find a way to tell the teacher that oatmeal and bananas aren’t junk food.
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