S/O Male nurse during delivery

[Anonymous]

I'll be the first to admit I am overly prudish. For no reason other than my own comfort l see a female OB/GYN with an all female nursing staff. For DC1 the entire L&D staff so this wasn't an issue but reading another thread has me freaked. I dont think I can deal with a male nurse, I know I can't. Would it be wrong to say anything? It would be really hard to do but what's worse suffering through the entire labor with the added stress or would you say something? I know, I sound nuts, but it's an unfortunate reality in my world.

[Anonymous]

I think you can tell them when you check in that you'd prefer not to have a male nurse.

I'm with you OP-had a female doctor and went to an all female practice with #1. With #2 we had just moved here so I found a female OB/GYN that came recommended but the practice itself was not all female. Of course, the night I went into labor a male doctor was on call and ended up delivering the baby. He was actually great and did not make me feel uncomfortable at all. So you might be surprised

That being said, when I was in the hospital recovering from #1, I had a male nurse for a short time (during a shift change, I think) and the first time he came into my room I was kind of surprised and I think it showed because the couple times he came in to check on me he seemed apologetic. I was very nice to him, just surprised. You don't expect to see male nurses in L&D.

[Anonymous]

I would say something. I see midwives partly b/c I am not comfortable with male doctors. Just my preference, even though I know how great they can be and many of my friends and family see male doctors. If a male nurse showed up while I was in L&D, I'd probably be upset.

[Anonymous]

Speak up for yourself and do whatever is comfortable for you but...I am overly prudish too and my first L&D nurse was male. He was a visiting nurse from California. I wanted to have an epidural free birth and without his confidence and assistance I could not have done it. He was awesome! Better than the doula I hired. What was even better was that he was back again when I delivered my 3rd!!! I was so relieved to see him again.

[Anonymous]

I was in L&D long enough to have gone through 3 shift changes. One nurse was a male and he was so much better than the two females. So much more empathetic and kind. I wish his shift was while I was pushing (it was earlier in labor).

[Anonymous]

I didn't have a male nurse in L&D, but I had a male OB with my first and I have another one with my second now. My modesty was so out the window at the point of delivery I don't think I would mind. Plus if they are in L&D they have seen it all.

[Anonymous]

I had a wonderful male nurse during recovery. If you had told me this would be the case prior to delivery I would have freaked out, but it honestly never occurred to me. By the time he was checking me out my modesty was pretty much out the window!

[Anonymous]

OP, are you from a Middle Easter country? If so, then I undertand how you feel because you have been brought up to believe that it wrong for a man other than your huband to see you but you live in America now and we have a whole different way of thinking. I don't think you would refuse to see an AA dr. or nurse, so why do you think it is all right to discriminate against a male nurse?

Realistically, do you truly believe he has a particular interest in your body? He doesn't. You are just another patient and he is just as well educated as a female nurse; you'll be damn glad he's there when you need him.

You've had intercourse, conceived a child and you are embarrased to have a male nurse? I wonder if you are mature enough to rear a child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you from a Middle Easter country? If so, then I undertand how you feel because you have been brought up to believe that it wrong for a man other than your huband to see you but you live in America now and we have a whole different way of thinking. I don't think you would refuse to see an AA dr. or nurse, so why do you think it is all right to discriminate against a male nurse?

Realistically, do you truly believe he has a particular interest in your body? He doesn't. You are just another patient and he is just as well educated as a female nurse; you'll be damn glad he's there when you need him.

You've had intercourse, conceived a child and you are embarrased to have a male nurse? I wonder if you are mature enough to rear a child!

Wow. Well, that was helpful...

[Anonymous]

OP, I went to an all-female OB practice with a female staff. When I was at the hospital, I mostly saw residents-- my OB got there about 15 minutes before the baby was born. Both the residents I saw were male. Believe me, once you are in labor you aren't going to give a crap.

[Anonymous]

Definitely discuss it if you are worried, but it may be a non-issue. I spent two weeks on a L&D floor (hospital bed rest and then delivery) and never encountered a male nurse that whole time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you from a Middle Easter country? If so, then I undertand how you feel because you have been brought up to believe that it wrong for a man other than your huband to see you but you live in America now and we have a whole different way of thinking. I don't think you would refuse to see an AA dr. or nurse, so why do you think it is all right to discriminate against a male nurse?

Realistically, do you truly believe he has a particular interest in your body? He doesn't. You are just another patient and he is just as well educated as a female nurse; you'll be damn glad he's there when you need him.

You've had intercourse, conceived a child and you are embarrased to have a male nurse? I wonder if you are mature enough to rear a child!

OP here, no I was actually born here in Washington, DC so your "shame" theory is completely off base and even if I was, merely being in America has nothing to do with my own personal preferences. I simple do not feel comfortable with the idea. Further, I also do not feel comfortable in the womens locker room with naked women everywhere. I'm shy. It's difficult to go to the doctor as it is male or female.

As for whether or not I believe the male nurse would have any particular interest in my body is not the issue nor was it even a consideration until you brought it up. My post, if you read it, states that this is an issue that I have personally that I am uncomfortable with the possibility and has nothing to do with the DR or the nurse.

As for your comments about conceiving and rearing children, they are so irrational and irrelevant there is absolutely no way to respond so I'll just leave you with those. Should actually have some advice relevant to the post I'd be happy to hear it.

[Anonymous]

hi, i'm a physician and you can absolutely request a female nurse - i would start off asking for one right from the moment you step through the door; that way, you won't have a male nurse walk in the room and have to say "i'm not comfortable with you.' which might be awkward/difficult for you to say.

i had a post-partum male nurse at sibley for delivery #1 and i felt a little weird - mostly b/c i felt like he couldn't relate to what i'd been through. that said, i had a female nurse at sibley who i also didn't like - very cold and uncaring... so it can be about the individual, as well.

luckily, there are few male nurses in L&D or post-partum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the first to admit I am overly prudish. For no reason other than my own comfort l see a female OB/GYN with an all female nursing staff. For DC1 the entire L&D staff so this wasn't an issue but reading another thread has me freaked. I dont think I can deal with a male nurse, I know I can't. Would it be wrong to say anything? It would be really hard to do but what's worse suffering through the entire labor with the added stress or would you say something? I know, I sound nuts, but it's an unfortunate reality in my world.

I was in the hospital in ICU for first. Had every complication imaginable. Believe me when you are this ill you won't give a damn if it is a Martian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the first to admit I am overly prudish. For no reason other than my own comfort l see a female OB/GYN with an all female nursing staff. For DC1 the entire L&D staff so this wasn't an issue but reading another thread has me freaked. I dont think I can deal with a male nurse, I know I can't. Would it be wrong to say anything? It would be really hard to do but what's worse suffering through the entire labor with the added stress or would you say something? I know, I sound nuts, but it's an unfortunate reality in my world.

I was in the hospital in ICU for first. Had every complication imaginable. Believe me when you are this ill you won't give a damn if it is a Martian.

I was just about to add something to this effect. OP, in labor, I promise, you'll happily give birth in traffic if it means hurrying things along. I wouldn't stress about that. It's a waste of energy.

As for the male nurse more generally, be upfront about your preference/bias. Give the shift manager / head nurse a chance to coordinate things so that you have 100% female coverage. No big deal if handled ahead of time. Pretty awkward if you wait until he's in the room.