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Feeling annoyed at my neighbors, what do you think?
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Anonymous
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Over the past few years, our next door neighbors have asked us to pick up their mail several times a year when they go on vacation. No big deal. They usually bring us something edible from their trip as a thank you gift. We are happy to be neighborly.
Our mail is delivered through a slot in the front door, so we don't have the same need. Still, when we go away, we typically ask them to keep an eye out for the once-weekly neighborhood paper, unexpected packages, fliers stuck in our door, etc. Basically anything that screams "We're traveling, rob us!" We just returned from an extended vacation and I am pretty sure that they did not pick up our packages, despite saying they would. Why am I suspicious? Relatives came to stay in our house for a few days near the end of our trip and found several packages piled up on our front step. While it is *possible* that they were all delivered that day, I doubt it. Based on the packages' ship dates they would have had to take two weeks to get to us, highly unlikely. A couple of the boxes also had clearly been out in the elements for some time. I played dumb and called the neighbors to say we were back and ask if they had any packages for us. They said nothing came. My husband says, just get over it and never ask them to watch the house again. But these are people with whose kids play with ours, with whom we socialize somewhat regularly, etc. And I know they will ask us again to pick up their mail. I no longer feel like giving them the nice bottle of wine we brought back from our trip. And I feel annoyed when I see them. Am I being petty? I feel like they let us down. Then again, we weren't burglarized and I can't be 100% sure that they reneged. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| Give them the bottle or go out and get them something else if it makes you feel better. Next time don't order packages that will arrive when you are away and suspend mail service through the USPS. |
Anonymous
| Maybe the packages weren't very visible if they weren't right on your doorstep? If they just glanced at your door maybe they didn't see them and therefore didn't realize they were there. Sometimes I've missed packages left on our stoop half-hidden under a bush! |
Anonymous
I never understand why so many people in the DC area seem to go on package ordering sprees when they leave for vacation. |
Anonymous
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OP here--I don't think you really ready my post. My mail was not the issue (goes in through a slot in the door) and the packages were actually gifts, a long-backordered item, and one mis-delivered to the wrong address (so I had no control over when they arrived). I also have no control over unsolicited fliers or the neighborhood rag. All of which is why I asked my neighbors to keep an eye on the house for the unexpected.
Anyway, blaming me doesn't help--I was asking for thoughtful advice on neighborly ethics and dynamics. Other replies welcome please. |
Anonymous
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16:40 - you suck. This is about being naighborly. Of course she could stop her mail.
I would say they were careless with their commitment to look after your front doorstep. They let you down. The gifts should stop. Drink your nice bottle. And when they ask you in the future, give them 16:40s advice - "Gee we won't be around either, you might want to stop the mail." Instead of playing dumb I would have said, I got the packages that my Uncle Joe collected, but just thought I would see if you had collected any others. Just so they know you know. |
Anonymous
| I meant neighborly. |
Anonymous
| I would be annoyed, op! Have someone else watch your house next time, I would agree to watch their house, too, if asked. (Why stir up trouble?) Yes, they were inconsiderate, imo, but it was not "terrible". And then I would just forget about it. |
Anonymous
| OP, we had a package delivered Friday evening that didn't get brought inside until Saturday morning (we were away and I noticed it had been delivered, so I asked a neighbor to get it for us). It was soaked through because there was a big storm Friday night similar to the one we just had. It didn't take long for the package to succumb to the elements. Maybe that's what happened to your package. |
Anonymous
| OP, do it for them as a good neighbor gesture. Eventually you may need something from them, and you need their good will as neighbors, so why not do this small favor for them once a year. Just don't expect a quid pro quo. But it sounds like you really don't need this service from them anyway. I'd store up the goodwill, myself. |
Anonymous
| you are being petty.. |
Anonymous
| Petty. I wouldn't give them the wine though! I'd ask someone else to watch your house next time, as this doesn't seem to be their thing. I'd still be happy to bring in their mail though. |
Anonymous
You suck, that's passive aggresive and rude. Just don't count on them next time |
Anonymous
| OP, you just said yourself you had no idea when the packages would be arriving, so you don't know when they arrived. If you had relatives staying at your house, your neighbors probably stopped looking out for packages. If I saw people going in and out of my neighbors house, I wouldn't still go and get packages, that is just weird. |
Anonymous
| Don't give them the wine. Give them nothing and be done with it. And like pp said next time tell them to have the mail stopped when they are gone. |