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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Any Advice For Helping Teen Recover From Broken Heart ?
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Anonymous
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This is cross-posted from the Relationship-non explicit forum.
I am looking for any helpful resources or advice in helping my child get over a break-up. Thanks in advance! |
Anonymous
| Boy or girl? |
Anonymous
Girl, 16 years old. |
Anonymous
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Make a change - visit a new place, try something new. Make some new memories.
Celebrate what you have - have a great family gathering or friends gathering, to relax and laugh and feel loved and supported. |
Anonymous
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Oh god...a broken 16 year old heart is rough. I assume it was her first love? I would let her cry, eat ice cream, talk about it, watch movies, and hibernate for a few days. Then one morning I would announce that we were going shopping and out to lunch. Buy her a new outift, take her somewhere fun to eat, and make fun plans for the near future (a project, a trip, planning a party, trying something new, etc.). Getting a new hair cut can also be cathartic and feel like a fresh start!
Most of all, just let her know you love her and don't diminish her feelings just because she is young. Although, since you are taking the time to ask, you sound like a really loving mom!!! She is a lucky girl! |
Anonymous
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I have a teen DD and she worked through the healing process. Ex BF had the prep veneer and an image that was not a reality.
If the ex had fatal flaws it's important to talk about his character. Mine loved the person she thought he was , then the person she thought he could be, but finally realized he was/is a real creep. |
Anonymous
| It might also help her to hear your stories, but mostly, be there to listen to her. |
Anonymous
| OP here, great advice from everyone, thank-you. |
Anonymous
| I agree with poster about not diminishing her feelings because she is young. When I was 16, I remember walking out after a football game with my Dad and seeing a girl crying hysterically because her boyfriend had just broken up with her. Her friends were trying to cheer her up, hugging her and holding her hand. My Dad walked by and derisively commented to me about how stupid that girl was to cry like that over a boyfriend. She needed to get a life, etc. I was very confused by his comment. I played over and over in head. You can be sure that I never cried about a relationship in front of my Dad. Funny how that interaction stuck with me my entire life. |
Anonymous
Well, I had a similar experience when I was 24. I was raised in a non-intellectual household and this guy was a Berkeley grad, super smart, handsome, interesting, etc. I learned so much from him about politics, philosophy, literature and other things and it was very exciting. Then I realized that my lack of sophistication in these areas was making me feel bad. He started to make me feel bad about it, too. I lost a lot of self-confidence after being with him for about 6 months. I actually broke up with him because I couldn't take it anymore. He didn't protest so maybe that makes it a mutual breakup. I was an emotional mess for a year after that. I would wake up every morning with this feeling that something wasn't right and then I would remember. It was like dealing with the death of close loved one. It was the hardest thing I've ever struggled with even though I knew he wasn't right for me for many, many reasons. |
Anonymous
| I would keep her entertained, as long as she is not alone thinking she will be fine. I remembered my first break up @ 19 (really didnt date) so I can imagined how she feels at 16, I worked extra hours, hung out with friends, and was around people who gave good advice. As long as I wasn't alone thinking about the break up I was overall ok. Your a great mom by the way to ask... She is very lucky... |
Anonymous
| I agree, she is very lucky. Be there for her if she wants to talk about it and don't diminish her feelings. They are real. Don't tell her she is too good for him or that she needs to just move on. Just listen, and yes, I agree, take her out for dinner or a movie or ice cream or shopping something to try to get her mind off it. Even if she mopes, it will help. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| OP here, thanks for all the great advice. It has been about 3 weeks and she is keeping very busy, but I am worried. She is normally somewhat quiet and shy, great student, very responsible. However, I noticed on her FB page that she is now posting things which seem so out of character. Pictures of her and a guy (a kid who is actually a family friend) holding hands, saying mock flirtatious stuff, and also some really dumb stuff (on FB, that is ). When I try to talk with her, she shuts me out. What to do? Just let her be and pray she comes around back to her level headed self? Is this stuff just a dumb distraction? Acting out? Should I give her a pass and just let it go? Or keep trying to talk with her? Please help! |
Anonymous
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Hmmm...I wonder if she is posting things that are out of her character in response to things the ex-boyfriend is posting? Is he seeing someone new and posting pictures? Flirting with other girls online? If so, she might be trying to appear as if she has moved on and doesn't care either. Not really a bad thing...unless you think the posts could be damaging or dangerous in any fashion.
Have you tried talking to her while you guys are in the car? For some reason, that is a great place to open up! |
Anonymous
Great advice, thanks for the response! I checked the ex's FB page and there is nothing there, other than his friends referring to some of the stuff on DD's page. I just hope she is not falling for this other guy because I think he has "issues". I want desperately to give her advice, but I don't think she would listen! |