Should I have a second kid at 38 (DH 52), or are we just too old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH has adult kids and no relationship with them. Having one child with him was a mistake. I wouldn’t add another.

This. Major RED flag Eww

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not old (I had my second at 38). Your DH, oth, is too old. Your DH would be 70 when your kid turns 18.

And I say this as someone whose DH was 44 when the second was born, and that was on the cusp.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 38. DH is 52. We have 2-year-old, plus DH has adult kids that have almost no relationship with our 2-year-old, so the 2-year-old is effectively an only child in our household. We can afford to have another kid and we already have a full-time nanny, and if we do try for no. 2 we can afford to hire a night nanny as well. We both work and have good incomes and savings. My primary motivation for trying to have another child would be to give our 2-year-old a sibling. My primary reasons for not trying to have another one is (i) our ages and (ii) marital stresses that arise from time to time over his adult kids (every time I think I want to try for another kid, something related to step life triggers me and I feel unhappy and pullback). I say “I” because DH has told me he wants another kid if I do. DH is healthy and active. He's also a great, doting dad whenever he's around, but he travels for work and to see his adult kids, so there are times when I feel lonely, but maybe that is something I should deal with in therapy and just try for no. 2 before it's too late?

What do you not understand about the state of the US?

Selfish garbage is what you are.

[Anonymous]

Your DH is too old. Old father means a huge risk of having a kid with SNs, mental illness, etc. How do you feel about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having another child just to give your existing child a sibling is not a good reason.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH has adult kids and no relationship with them. Having one child with him was a mistake. I wouldn’t add another.

+1. I just don't get the attraction to these men.

[Anonymous]

You were pushing it having a baby with a 50-yr old man. Now he'd be 53-54+ depending how long it takes you to get pregnant and have another baby.

That is way too old. When you finally finish raising this second kid (largely on your own because he will be more of a grandpa than a dad), instead of enjoying your freedom, you'll be taking care of an elderly man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were pushing it having a baby with a 50-yr old man. Now he'd be 53-54+ depending how long it takes you to get pregnant and have another baby.

That is way too old. When you finally finish raising this second kid (largely on your own because he will be more of a grandpa than a dad), instead of enjoying your freedom, you'll be taking care of an elderly man.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Why are people posting on a thread for 2021? No indication OP has been back since this post was created 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH has adult kids and no relationship with them. Having one child with him was a mistake. I wouldn’t add another.

+1. I just don't get the attraction to these men.

🚩
Ref flags alllllll over

[Anonymous]

Red*

[Anonymous]

Have another kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH has adult kids and no relationship with them. Having one child with him was a mistake. I wouldn’t add another.

+1. I just don't get the attraction to these men.

🚩
Ref flags alllllll over

Except OP didn't say her DH had no relationship with his adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were pushing it having a baby with a 50-yr old man. Now he'd be 53-54+ depending how long it takes you to get pregnant and have another baby.

That is way too old. When you finally finish raising this second kid (largely on your own because he will be more of a grandpa than a dad), instead of enjoying your freedom, you'll be taking care of an elderly man.

No. Do any of you spend time with people older than 35?

[Anonymous]

I had my oldest one Colin 38. It a shocked my daughter was 14. ,MY DH had 4 other kids, so when mt DS was born he was already an uncle.