S/O Guess I'm fat now

[Anonymous]

I was walking my son home from daycare last week, pushing him in his stroller. I had gone to get him after a quick workout, so I was in my gym clothes, and was decidedly not put together. As I was crossing the street, I guess I wasn't moving fast enough because the driver of a car yelled "Move it, fatass!" at me as I was in the crosswalk.

I pretended I didn't hear, but I was sick. First, I was horrified that someone would shout something so ugly at me at all, never mind that my son was with me. And second, fatass??? Really??? I have been STRUGGLING to lose weight since my son was born 7 months ago. Between the baby blues and getting back to work, its all I can do to put on clean pants in the morning. I have absolutely not taken care of myself. I know this. I don't need to "Wake up."

I wish I was someone who was just strong enough to do it all. Or even just most of it.

[Anonymous]

Try not to give any credibility to what jerks yell out of car windows for starters. Some women take longer than others to get back in to their old shape, some never do. Don't beat yourself up about it, and make time for yourself, whether it is going to the gym or getting a massage. Hang in there, you have a lot going on.

[Anonymous]

I know that when you can barely make it through the day, a stupid comment from a stranger can really depress you.

But just think about it: it was not personal. This nauseating driver does not know you. All he saw was someone taking some time to cross the street.

You cannot be labeled by this insult. This too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

What an asshole that driver was. Just try to forget about it. Some men think that any women who is not an anorexic stick is a "fat ass." For all you know he's a fat ass. You were the one walking and moving your body and he was the sedentary one in the car.

[Anonymous]

I can totally relate to what you posted! I've been there. Heck I still have days like this.

I suspect this guy knows that the way to piss off most females regardless of what size they are is to call them "fat ass." He is probably an angry son of a B trying to make someone feel as down as he does.

Plus, when you are struggling words like that are like daggars. With my first I got so down about the fact I not only had a challenging baby, but I could not lose weight and get back to the old me. I had to force myself to focus most on health-physical and mental. I tried my hardest to let go of the dream of being slender or even just a good BMI and focus on making helathy food choices, taking care of my well being and my child. There are women out there who starve or do other unhealthy things to get back to their old weight and it will catch up with them. Better to have some extra pounds, but the right vitamins/nutrients to keep your body healthy. I did lose a decent amount of weight...very, very, very slowly and I will say having children makes me more satisfied than being slender, though I still strive to keep slowly losing.

Oh and for the record, things do get easier, but I still am far, far from superwoman and I still get frazzled and I try to just accept it, but also think...this too shall pass. An older woman told me "empty nest" time will come sooner than I could ever imagine and I'll actually be sad to have an easier journey.

[Anonymous]

Oh man, what a d&&6 . You know you are not a fatass. Just don't let yourself go there. PPs are right--he is probably the one that is fat. And even if he is not, he is a miserable piece of s**6.

Hugs to you. We have all been there. Usually my "yoga" pants are stained and I wear unkempt pony tails when I go to pick up my dd from daycare on the days that I work from home.

As for the baby weight, it started to come off around 9 months. Just like they say, 9 months on, 9 months off.

[Anonymous]

That ugly incident has nothing to do with you. Think of how sad and angry he must be inside to behave that way. Focus on your awesome baby, and try to feel some pity for the bitter guy who has so much anger in his heart that he can't keep it contained.

[Anonymous]

OP, this comment has nothing to do with you, so please try to let it roll off your back. He would say the same thing to anyone, overweight or thin.

But, I know how much power words can have over you. When I was in my teens and a strong competitive swimmer, my neighbor casually made a comment about how big my calves were. I don't know why he said that - if he thought he was paying me a compliment. I was 105 lbs and thin (not even all that muscular) and to this day at 35, I've been self-conscious over my legs.

[Anonymous]

Back in the days after the blizzard of '03, when things got a little ugly in the fight for sidewalk space, I was maneuvering my way home in Dupont Circle when someone said to me "You need to move your ass, you skinny bitch" I was floating on air despite the nastiness. Told everyone I knew. The next night walking home a man said to me "Lardass, get the fuck out of my way." Hopeless despair reigned down on me. People are just nasty when they want to be. They barely notice you. It's all about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the days after the blizzard of '03, when things got a little ugly in the fight for sidewalk space, I was maneuvering my way home in Dupont Circle when someone said to me "You need to move your ass, you skinny bitch" I was floating on air despite the nastiness. Told everyone I knew. The next night walking home a man said to me "Lardass, get the fuck out of my way." Hopeless despair reigned down on me. People are just nasty when they want to be. They barely notice you. It's all about them.

Totally! Within the same week at work one of my coworkers told me that I looked like I had lost weight and looked really good (I hadn't) and another one asked me if I was pregnant (I wasn't).

People are idiots. People are assholes. People say stupid things.

You're working out. You're making time for you. That person in the car is stressed out, maybe trying to get home rushed to whatever is going on in his world.

Don't worry about it....focus on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the days after the blizzard of '03, when things got a little ugly in the fight for sidewalk space, I was maneuvering my way home in Dupont Circle when someone said to me "You need to move your ass, you skinny bitch" I was floating on air despite the nastiness. Told everyone I knew. The next night walking home a man said to me "Lardass, get the fuck out of my way." Hopeless despair reigned down on me. People are just nasty when they want to be. They barely notice you. It's all about them.

Abso-freakin' lutely!

Sweetie, I am 5'5 and 110 pounds. I am a marathon runner.

I had someone tell me to "move my fast ass" several months ago.

I don't know whether you are overweight or not...it doesn't even really matter. He probably didn't even actually look at you. Just your typical self-absorbed D.C. area asshole. Try to let it go. I would bet he is a miserable human being just trying to make the people around him as unhappy as he is.

[Anonymous]

As said - some people are just assholes - and they know the best way to insult someone is by insulting their appearances/weight.

The weight issue seems to be a common one. I've struggled with my weight as well. I was built a bit chubby as a toddler and grew up hearing my mom comment on how "fat" my sister and I were compared to my brother. Talk about a developing a complex. She was obsessed with our weight (even when I was a skinny 12 year old, and when I was gaining the typical amount of weight pre-puberty and pre-growth spurts). She also obsessively withheld junk food and gave "the look" anytime she perceived that we were eating too much. I entered high school where they had a multiple choice cafeteria and a school store where they sold candy and gained a lot of weight. After a year or two, I realized what was happening and lost most of it (was 120 when I entered college).

I gained some back though. I used to run, but after working 4 part time jobs and being a full time student and developing some health problems I stopped running and exercising and gained some weight back. I still haven't lost it and while I'm not obese and unfit, I am not as toned and fit as I'd like to be.

Honestly - ignore it. You are who you are regardless of your weight and appearances and you are working out and staying healthy. That's what's important. And obviously a couple of guys have never gone through (and never will go through) a pregnancy and the associated side effects.

[Anonymous]

So sorry that happened to you. I swear, almost 15 yrs. ago, some a#* called me a fat "piece of sh#*" and I still remember it. PS, I was about 115lbs at the time! (If only that were the case after 2 babies now.)
I love that these postings have been so positive and supportive...but it's upsetting to realize just how many of us have been on the receiving end of these nasty weight-based remarks. URGH!!
Be strong -- when your son looks up from his stroller, he sees his favorite woman in the world. So, who cares what some random in a car shouts.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of jerks in the world, you just encountered one, don't let it get to you.

[Anonymous]

You have my sympathy OP. I agree with the others: the driver was an @$$hole.

Yesterday I was driving and had to turn left at a light with no arrow. Cars were coming the opposite direction so I couldn't go, and I had my indicator on. There was a lane to the right of me for cars wanting to go straight (my lane was for straight or left). What does the driver behind me do? Repeatedly honk at me. The *entire* time I was waiting to go. That doesn't help the situation! If anything it made it worse by distracting me so I couldn't look for an opening in traffic. Some drivers here just suck.