Close to due date and scared

[Anonymous]

I am wondering if I am completely crazy for feeling the way I do. I am very close to my due sate and feel really scared about becoming a parent. What if I'm horrible at it? Worse, what if I don't like being a parent? Yes, this pregnancy was planned and I do feel horrible about feeling this way. I just want to know if anyone else feels/felt this way before their little one was born. Am I already a bad parent for feeling this way?

Hoping for some reassurance.

[Anonymous]

You are definitely not alone. I am 40w2d and the doctor has us getting scheduled for an induction. As excited as I am, I started crying on the way home realizing my days in my current lifestyle are limited and fearing the unknown, big time. These feelings will pass (hopefully)! I hear the anticipation is hard to handle but that once baby is here, you're so busy/tired/excited, you have no time to think about what the future holds. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I had a planned c-section and when they asked if I was ready, scalpel in hand, I wanted to scream NO since I was so scared.

I think if you're worried then you've answered your own question. Your motherly instinct will kick right in and finding a playgroup will help you through the struggles you'll encounter.

I always think, if you aren't scared then you have nothing to lose. If you are scared/worried (within reason) you feel you have something to lose.

And, you'll always doubt your parenting skills. Everyone else seems to be a better mom, etc but reality is there is no perfect mom or life. Just do your best, try to relax and get as much sleep as you can between now and the baby as you'll definitely need and miss it.

Good luck- you'll do great!

[Anonymous]

You are going to be wonderful, OP.

Focus on a peaceful and healthy delivery (for you and your LO). And then arm your self with knowledge...read books, forums, ask other experienced moms when you have questions or insecurities (and lord know, you will!). And then use that information to form your own opinions.

You are about the enter the MOSt rewarding and eventful time of your life...savor every sweet newborn moment- it is fleeting! And try not to focus on what you are missing out on, focus on what new adventures you are privy to...

CONGRATS!

[sybersus]

I have always wanted to be a mom and now that it's almost here, I am absolutely terrified. I think what you are going through is normal, and it's great that you have the self-awareness to be able to get support.

[Anonymous]

Take one moment at a time. You don't have to raise a child in one day. They sleep a lot in the very beginning, so enjoy that - there will be plenty of time for parenting, just enjoy each & every moment.

[Anonymous]

I know you will do great- I am not expecting, but hope to be, and sometimes peruse this forum. When I married my DH, I became a parent instantly to his 7 year old son. I felt the same sort of feelings right before our wedding, and I grew into my role over time. Don't worry at all - how you feel is normal.

[Anonymous]

Your mama bear instinct will kick in. Of course this is scary, and exciting. Once you meet and start getting to know your precious baby, this overwhelming feeling of love and peace comes over you.
You will do better than you think! You got this! We were made to do this, trust that your instinct will kick in.
Congrats I have 6 months to go till I meet #2! I wish I was in your place

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. But, one thing I will say, don't be alarmed if these scared "OMG what have I done" feelings last through the beginning of your DC's infancy. That's perfectly normal, too. Give yourself about 8 weeks after the birth to get back to a level head. This is just one moment out of all the wonderful moments to come.

[Anonymous]

2 kids and 3 years later, I still have these "Dear God, what have I done" feelings. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't meet your baby and fall instantly in love. A lot of people do, but a lot of people don't. I didn't at first but the bond and love did come in time.

[Anonymous]

What helped me with my fear of becoming a parent was the realization that, heck the kid isn't going to realize the significance of you being The Parents for years. The first year is more of a care-taking and reassuring snuggling role, and don't beat yourself up if you don't get misty eyed with love every time you change a diaper. The child won't judge you regarding being a "horrible parent" until elementary / middle school -- You've got plenty of time to figure it out!

[Anonymous]

I am expecting number 2. They'll be a six year gap between my children. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel that pang of "what the heck is going to happy to life as I know it?" and "can we give both our children the lives they deserve?" I felt the same way when my daughter came as you are feeling now. You'll be a good parent just because you are concerned about being a good parent. And what you are feeling is absolutely normal. (plus I had the whole "how the heck is that baby actually coming out?" phobia).

[Anonymous]

I am 39 weeks and have felt the exact same way for weeks, OP. Thanks for posting the question and thanks to everyone that answered. I feel a lot better now!

[Anonymous]

I had those moments too! I think if you don't feel some fear about being a parent, you either don't know enough to be scared or you don't take it seriously enough. I kept a couple of "what to expect" type books around that I could consult when I just didn't know what to do, and there's always this board. And you probably have friends who have kids. You'll be fine - odds are good that the maternal instinct will kick in for you and you'll mostly know what to do. good luck.

[Anonymous]

What if I'm horrible at it? Worse, what if I don't like being a parent?

Here's the thing: There will be days when you'll be horrible at it. There will be days when you don't like being a parent. But they are few, and greatly outweighed by the awesomeness of your kid(s). I think your worries are perfectly normal -- just take a deep breath and take each day/each hour/each minute as it comes.