every mom but me brought a tablet to toddler breakfast

[Anonymous]

^Wow, I just googled your claim and came up with these.. Very fascinating.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-fallible-mind/201706/there-is-new-link-between-screen-time-and-autism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and yes, I posted because I was genuinely shocked. I didn’t think all toddlers used tablets, let alone at a kid centered breakfast.

NP here. The short answer is that people don't want to have to watch/deal with their kids so a screen is the easier way to deal with them. There's a serious lack of discipline in young children these days, so the easy way is stick a screen in front of them so they "behave."

I know several other couples that literally never let their child cry/whine for more than a few seconds (they also cosleep no surprise). I think this has to do with people having fewer children and later and thus they're more of a "rare commodity" so they tend to get spoiled. They think appeasing them is one way to make them "happy." There are other issues at play as well like adults tend to work more hours these days and want to be able to relax when not at work. The bottom line is that yes we all know the parents who stick an ipad in front of their kids during entire meals and the poor kid just stares like a zombie. There aren't long term studies to show it yet but I think undoubtedly these kids will have "impaired" social skills later in life.

You mean in contrast with the parents who have had more children than they can really handle, don’t value them as individuals and treat them like a commodity because there’s 3 more like them in the family, and need to be able to have the youngest kid kid be quiet while they get dragged to a million of one of their sibling’s event when really they’re tired and hungry. The parents just need to appease them so they can get to Larlas ballet practice and Larlos soccer, so just be quiet John Jr., here’s an iPad.

iPads are a universal problem, not those of few children and cosleepers. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

good for youi!! At least you have priorities correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: iPads are a universal problem, not those of few children and cosleepers. Get over yourself.

Yes I agree. I merely pointed out the scenario I stated since that seems to be more common these days and I see more of that. The days of 4+ children is the exception not the rule like years ago. I see too many parents worried about being friends with their kid(s) rather than preparing them for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: iPads are a universal problem, not those of few children and cosleepers. Get over yourself.

Yes I agree. I merely pointed out the scenario I stated since that seems to be more common these days and I see more of that. The days of 4+ children is the exception not the rule like years ago. I see too many parents worried about being friends with their kid(s) rather than preparing them for life.

So, out of curiosity, where are your kids and what are they doing while you’re glued to your screen today? Do you see where the interest in screens might come from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP was trying to be sanctimonious. I think she was genuinely intrigued by this phenomenon! As am I - isn't it a bit odd that we all go out to eat and bring our kids and then give them all devices? I'm not saying people should or shouldn't do it and I'm not commenting about whether I do. I'm more just saying, we can have a conversation about this without some people seeming judgy and others getting defensive.

What's the point of having a conversation about it? OP was aghast that people brought their devices. So? Then she knows not to go again if she doesn't like that. But in starting a conversation she wasn't looking for a reason why people did it, she was looking for people to back her up so she could fluff her feathers and feel sanctimonious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, out of curiosity, where are your kids and what are they doing while you’re glued to your screen today? Do you see where the interest in screens might come from?

My job is to look at a screen all day. I also get where interest in crack and meth comes from, doesn't mean I let my kids have it. :p

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of having a conversation about it? OP was aghast that people brought their devices. So? Then she knows not to go again if she doesn't like that. But in starting a conversation she wasn't looking for a reason why people did it, she was looking for people to back her up so she could fluff her feathers and feel sanctimonious.

As a fellow concerned parent, it's become taboo to tell someone else how to raise a child (or at least provide advice) so I would take the OP's post more as a vent than anything, and I agree. Certain behavior is "wrong," and I'd consider plastering your kid in front of a screen to be wrong. I'd consider this a vent/round about way of "spreading the word?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, out of curiosity, where are your kids and what are they doing while you’re glued to your screen today? Do you see where the interest in screens might come from?

My job is to look at a screen all day. I also get where interest in crack and meth comes from, doesn't mean I let my kids have it. :p

You get paid to be on DCUM?! SWEEEEEET!

[Anonymous]

Certain behavior is "wrong," and I'd consider plastering your kid in front of a screen to be wrong. I'd consider this a vent/round about way of "spreading the word?"

I know it would be better for me to spend 30 minutes a day reading a book or taking a walk rather than watching "Say Yes to the Dress." So in that sense, it's "wrong." But I'm tired at night and I want to watch it. It's probably "wrong" that I'll let my 8 year old play 30 minutes of minecraft when she gets home from camp so that I can cook dinner uninterrupted. It would be better for me to make her help me cook. But I don't feel like it today, and so I'm going to let her play minecraft. I don't need anyone to "spread the word" that this isn't the highest value use of time, I'm well aware, I just don't care.

[Anonymous]

The Post had a great article on this very topic today. A parent asked if a tablet was ok for four year old and the response from the phsychlogist was bascially-No, absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Certain behavior is "wrong," and I'd consider plastering your kid in front of a screen to be wrong. I'd consider this a vent/round about way of "spreading the word?"

I know it would be better for me to spend 30 minutes a day reading a book or taking a walk rather than watching "Say Yes to the Dress." So in that sense, it's "wrong." But I'm tired at night and I want to watch it. It's probably "wrong" that I'll let my 8 year old play 30 minutes of minecraft when she gets home from camp so that I can cook dinner uninterrupted. It would be better for me to make her help me cook. But I don't feel like it today, and so I'm going to let her play minecraft. I don't need anyone to "spread the word" that this isn't the highest value use of time, I'm well aware, I just don't care.

I would argue that the things you said aren't "wrong" behavior, that's the difference. Do my kids use an ipad device sometimes? Sure. Am I a bad parent? Maybe, but I don't think so. The point is.. SOMETIMES is perfectly fine, it just shouldn't be all the time. Heck, have we used a screen when going out to lunch/dinner with our kids at times even? Yes.. but it's more of a last resort and more of a rare occurrence than an all the time thing. I'm certainly (and most others) no perfect parent, but there are degrees of bad and wrong. We have friends that from the moment their kid sits down in a restaurant till the moment they leave their eyes are glued to the ipad. THAT, I think, is wrong.

So to summarize, all ipad use is not bad. I think there's a lot of "guilt" when it comes to parenting to try to be the absolute best parent for your kids, and it's tough. Sticking the kids in front of the tv or ipad so the parents can relax is perfectly fine to me.