every mom but me brought a tablet to toddler breakfast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, who wants to go to a lunch where you have to engage with and read to other people's toddlers? What is the point? How is that enjoyable?

OP again. I've said this over and over again: it was not a breakfast for moms. It was a breakfast with our toddlers while our older children were at camp. I didn't expect quiet or even conversation that required full attention.

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went to breakfast with 5 other friends, organized through the moms club. Every mom but me brought a tablet and immediately put it in front of their child (ages 2-3).

I honestly never occurs to me to do this. I brought some books and quiet toys and my son (18 months) just sat there. I have an older son too and we’ve never used a tablet.

It’s odd to me that this is what kids are like now.

OP, how have you achieved this? By just not doing screen time as distraction? I have a 14 month old and I don't want to get in the habit of occupying him with screens either.

NP, and we also don't use tablets for distraction. It wasn't a big challenge or anything, we've just never used them that way. I did buy one to use on the airplane while traveling. DD is 4.5, and she has started asking sometimes to use it at other times (right now we have a deal that we'll revisit the question when she's 5)...but it's invariably after she has played with another kid who gets to use one.

I don't think they are bad or good, it's just not what we've done...and I like that it's something different for the airplane. Situations where I've noticed other kids using them are ones where our plan is for her to color.

NP, also a screen-free home. Kids are 4 and 1. The 4 year old reads now, but before at restaurants we would bring board books and things for him to flip through himself. We do the same now with the 1 year old. This was important to me because I've seen the impacts of video game addiction on many of my students. Our neighbor is 6 and the parents have a hard time getting him away from TV, iPhone, and video games -- he gets extremely upset when these are taken away. A few years of them needing more attention now is worth it to me because I don't want to deal with endless battles about screentime later on and with all the issues that can bring. As with all parenting, just start the way you mean to continue, and the kids will adapt. I think ages 3-5 can be very hard in terms of kids begging and begging for things like this, so if they already start by looking for other things to do you've won half the battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, who wants to go to a lunch where you have to engage with and read to other people's toddlers? What is the point? How is that enjoyable?

OP again. I've said this over and over again: it was not a breakfast for moms. It was a breakfast with our toddlers while our older children were at camp. I didn't expect quiet or even conversation that required full attention.

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

OP, in case it hasn't sunk in yet - YOU are the one who needs to go. These other moms made clear to you that they will bring devices for their kids. So if you don't like that, then find another friend group. But stop bitching about this one.

I personally wouldn't want to be with a group who used devices for their kids because I wouldn't do so, but I certainly would have just made a note to not go again and would have never posted about it here.

[Anonymous]

Your friends are not the norm despite the intense declarations of such by previous posters. Tablets aren’t something every parent uses to ignore their kids in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friends are not the norm despite the intense declarations of such by previous posters. Tablets aren’t something every parent uses to ignore their kids in public.

No they're not but I am always amazed at how commonplace it is. Purely anecdotal but I am comfortable saying that 60-70% of kids ages 3-6+ at a dining establishment have some sort of device in front of them.

Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, who wants to go to a lunch where you have to engage with and read to other people's toddlers? What is the point? How is that enjoyable?

OP again. I've said this over and over again: it was not a breakfast for moms. It was a breakfast with our toddlers while our older children were at camp. I didn't expect quiet or even conversation that required full attention.

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

OP, in case it hasn't sunk in yet - YOU are the one who needs to go. These other moms made clear to you that they will bring devices for their kids. So if you don't like that, then find another friend group. But stop bitching about this one.

I personally wouldn't want to be with a group who used devices for their kids because I wouldn't do so, but I certainly would have just made a note to not go again and would have never posted about it here.

Meh, most things posted here shouldn't be posted but whatever. If you can't vent on an anonymous forum, where CAN you vent?!

This wasn't in DC so I'm not worried about people identifying me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friends are not the norm despite the intense declarations of such by previous posters. Tablets aren’t something every parent uses to ignore their kids in public.

No they're not but I am always amazed at how commonplace it is. Purely anecdotal but I am comfortable saying that 60-70% of kids ages 3-6+ at a dining establishment have some sort of device in front of them.

Sad.

+1. Yesterday in a birth month group, someone asked about tablets for 2.5 yo for prime day and I was disturbed how many people responded with something along the lines of "keeps them occupied at a restaurant". What happened to teaching conversation and simple games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, who wants to go to a lunch where you have to engage with and read to other people's toddlers? What is the point? How is that enjoyable?

OP again. I've said this over and over again: it was not a breakfast for moms. It was a breakfast with our toddlers while our older children were at camp. I didn't expect quiet or even conversation that required full attention.

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

I generally don't give my kids tablets/electronic devices in restaurants, OP, so I am like you in that respect. But, if I were going to a moms' club to hang out with other moms, I would consider it. That is exactly the time I'd want to relax a bit and chat with other adults. If I were just going to entertain my own kid and barely engage with other adults, I'd stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friends are not the norm despite the intense declarations of such by previous posters. Tablets aren’t something every parent uses to ignore their kids in public.

No they're not but I am always amazed at how commonplace it is. Purely anecdotal but I am comfortable saying that 60-70% of kids ages 3-6+ at a dining establishment have some sort of device in front of them.

Sad.

+1. Yesterday in a birth month group, someone asked about tablets for 2.5 yo for prime day and I was disturbed how many people responded with something along the lines of "keeps them occupied at a restaurant". What happened to teaching conversation and simple games?

Yup. Not only what happened to conversation, games, using your brain, etc., but they're missing the whole "it's bad for their mental development" stuff that they either naively aren't aware of, or worse, they blindly ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, who wants to go to a lunch where you have to engage with and read to other people's toddlers? What is the point? How is that enjoyable?

OP again. I've said this over and over again: it was not a breakfast for moms. It was a breakfast with our toddlers while our older children were at camp. I didn't expect quiet or even conversation that required full attention.

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

I generally don't give my kids tablets/electronic devices in restaurants, OP, so I am like you in that respect. But, if I were going to a moms' club to hang out with other moms, I would consider it. That is exactly the time I'd want to relax a bit and chat with other adults. If I were just going to entertain my own kid and barely engage with other adults, I'd stay at home.

Is there no happy medium anymore? Can't anyone chat AND watch their child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, who wants to go to a lunch where you have to engage with and read to other people's toddlers? What is the point? How is that enjoyable?

OP again. I've said this over and over again: it was not a breakfast for moms. It was a breakfast with our toddlers while our older children were at camp. I didn't expect quiet or even conversation that required full attention.

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

I generally don't give my kids tablets/electronic devices in restaurants, OP, so I am like you in that respect. But, if I were going to a moms' club to hang out with other moms, I would consider it. That is exactly the time I'd want to relax a bit and chat with other adults. If I were just going to entertain my own kid and barely engage with other adults, I'd stay at home.

Is there no happy medium anymore? Can't anyone chat AND watch their child?

This! I would also hope that the moms would be a bit more organized to plan stuff for their kids around the event in order to engage them. Maybe have some games for the kids to play with, etc. Use your brains, parents! Device is the cop out/easy way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Everything that is said about tablets/phones was also said about kids reading books. People thought books were bad for children, and that they should sit and eat a meal without any distractions (books, crayons, toys) at all. Yet somehow the human race continues to survive.

We rarely let DD use tablets or phones in public, but I’m not going to judge someone who does. I’m sure they would judge me right back for some of my choices.

Also, I believe that for many parents, having a break to be an adult allows them to then give 100% of their focused attention to their kid the rest of the time. I think that’s probably better than having no screens but a checked-out parent. I’m sure there are some parents who can give their full attention to their child 24/7, and that’s great for them, but it’s also okay for moms to want an hour or two of adult interaction.

True as far as rudeness maybe, but the major difference is the difficulty in disengaging with the device. Honestly I can't remember anyone ever thinking books were bad for children, but I could be mistaken. Tablets and phones are by design addictive, and don't require the imagination stickers, legos, coloring, reading, or socialization does.

Look, I am absolutely guilty of allowing too much screen time for my elementary school kid. It is really hard to keep him from screens both because he wants to and I like the break. Knowing this, it's alarming to see it start so very young now and for it to be so commonplace. I bet the moms don't really give it a second thought. I took it more as an observation by the OP as opposed to a holier than thou.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Everything that is said about tablets/phones was also said about kids reading books. People thought books were bad for children, and that they should sit and eat a meal without any distractions (books, crayons, toys) at all. Yet somehow the human race continues to survive.

We rarely let DD use tablets or phones in public, but I’m not going to judge someone who does. I’m sure they would judge me right back for some of my choices.

Also, I believe that for many parents, having a break to be an adult allows them to then give 100% of their focused attention to their kid the rest of the time. I think that’s probably better than having no screens but a checked-out parent. I’m sure there are some parents who can give their full attention to their child 24/7, and that’s great for them, but it’s also okay for moms to want an hour or two of adult interaction.

Sorry, but I call BS on the notion that reading books was bad for kids the way devices are. If you read ANY literature on the science of a child's mental/emotional/psychological development and screen time, you'll see that they do not compare to reading books. Was this some sort of mom club pseudo science that somebody uttered? Absolute rubbish and it just further perpetuates and validates screen time with kids.

[Anonymous]

It was a MOMS CLUB breakfast. I mean, moms and toddlers are the name of the game here.

The device thing has got to go!

It sounds like this club is not for you, which is totally fine. Don't go again. The other members have the right to do what they want in terms of letting their own kids use tablets.

[Anonymous]

Our neighbor is 6 and the parents have a hard time getting him away from TV, iPhone, and video games -- he gets extremely upset when these are taken away. A few years of them needing more attention now is worth it to me because I don't want to deal with endless battles about screentime later on and with all the issues that can bring.

That's not a screen or device problem, it's a discipline problem. My 8 year old doesn't like TV much, but he does love minecraft. He can't play during the week, but we are pretty generous with minecraft on weekends - he can play an hour each day, and an hour and a half if he reads for more than an hour in the day. We measure his time fairly, but when it is up it is up and that's that. There's no point in him getting upset, because all that causes is the loss of time on a subsequent day. It's not a battle or an issue and never has been.