Things rich people dont know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up poor right here in the US. He never knew when his birthday was until he joined the military. They didn't have $ for birthday gifts or cakes. The only presents were at Xmas, usually cheap charity gifts. His mom was a schoolteacher, dad a carpenter who drank and sold homemade whiskey. They raised most of their own food but were often in debt to store or needed to "borrow" milk from neighbors. He had never been to a swimming pool, only the river. College wasn't even a possibility without military and GI bill. He won't wear sandals because the "sandals" he had as a child were too small school shoes with toes and heels cut out. His sisters made all their own clothes.
Our son is now with the Peace Corps in Panama. Hot running water is unheard of, as is steady electricity. Most people have no idea with poor means.

Let me stay first that I don't dispute you at all (I think your story is real) but most schoolteacher + working carpenter couple usually manage to eke out a middle class life, at least a lower middle class lifestyle. My grandfather was a carpenter and grandmother a bookkeeper (in the 1950s-1960s) and my mother grew up firmly middle class. Tight budget, but they owned their own house, had no debts, plenty of food and decent clothing, and savings accounts and even some investment.

I'm guessing this must be a truly rural scenario and the schoolteacher mother wasn't a certified public school teacher but a different kind of teacher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a luxury it is to have hot running water.

I was born in Thailand, but moved to the US as a toddler and grew up MC/UMC and am now reasonably wealthy. As a kid, my parents never had enough $ to fly back there. And my mom had a terrible relationship with her family, so it seemed no great loss. It wasn’t till I was in my mid-20’s that I was able to afford a flight back there to essentially meet my relatives. My family there was dirt poor - literally. My grandfather’s house was on stilts over a dirt surface and had no electricity nor running water - rain was collected in an urn. But as I was visiting, my grandfather took it upon himself to heat water in his biggest cooking pot so that I would have hot water to bathe with. That was my first intimate exposure to ‘poor’. Nothing my mom had ever told me could have conveyed it as strongly as actually being there, and not having running water was the thing that I really missed and that sticks with me most today.

[Anonymous]

My Dad worked 3 jobs- every weekend, every holiday- in factories & as a janitor in a country club in the summer- so my mom could be a SAHM with 4 kids. (1 kid was hers BEFORE they married & he adopted him). We always had food, clean clothes but no free lunches, fresh air fund camp, or financial aid for college. I worked Full-time to pay for my college- 8 years to get my BS. Similar for my DW & we had to relocate to find any kind of jobs.

We sacrificed to pay for our kids' college. Our kids did NOT qualify for any special programs, scholarships, etc. No one came to their school to advise on careers or give them any career/college insights. If we did NOT help them, they would not be able to eek out a living wage.

Sorry I have no sympathy for the child of a single mother or for poor children who get my tax dollars for special programs. As a society, we need to help average, working class & middle class children, for a change.

To the OP, as a teacher, you need to advise your students that not every white person with 2 parents are "rich". AND they have many benefits and programs not available to working & middle class people.

[Anonymous]

When I was a junio in college, my freshman sister called me and asked if I had ever heard that people take out loans for college. It was that point that I realized how privileged we were- in our private school upbringing, no one had to worry about the cost of college. I don’t think I even knew you could borrow money for a car and make payments vs buy it outright.

[Anonymous]

Omg I can’t even imagine that level of cluelessness pp. I just paid of my school loans at 42. I would be so much further ahead if I didn’t have them... 114k which is really almost 200k with interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad worked 3 jobs- every weekend, every holiday- in factories & as a janitor in a country club in the summer- so my mom could be a SAHM with 4 kids. (1 kid was hers BEFORE they married & he adopted him). We always had food, clean clothes but no free lunches, fresh air fund camp, or financial aid for college. I worked Full-time to pay for my college- 8 years to get my BS. Similar for my DW & we had to relocate to find any kind of jobs.

We sacrificed to pay for our kids' college. Our kids did NOT qualify for any special programs, scholarships, etc. No one came to their school to advise on careers or give them any career/college insights. If we did NOT help them, they would not be able to eek out a living wage.

Sorry I have no sympathy for the child of a single mother or for poor children who get my tax dollars for special programs. As a society, we need to help average, working class & middle class children, for a change.

To the OP, as a teacher, you need to advise your students that not every white person with 2 parents are "rich". AND they have many benefits and programs not available to working & middle class people.

DP here. I never thought of this. ^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg I can’t even imagine that level of cluelessness pp. I just paid of my school loans at 42. I would be so much further ahead if I didn’t have them... 114k which is really almost 200k with interest.

I didn't know people can borrow money for college too. I came from the foreign country and got a fully paid degrees (grad and post-grad). I was assuming all of the students were paying out of pocket or getting some scholarships like me.

[Anonymous]

My grandparents didn't have running water in the house or toilet. They had a sauna, well and an outhouse. There was a time when we had warm water only on Sundays ( in the 90s). My shoes were often too big or or too small or had holes in it.
Not once did I think we were poor. We had seen 3rd world country poverty on tv and we thought we were doing ok. It also helped that most people had the same experience. Nobody was super rich or super poor.
I think rich people don't think a whole lot what it means to be poor in America. Everything is more difficult- getting to work or more expensive-loans for poor people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandparents didn't have running water in the house or toilet. They had a sauna, well and an outhouse. There was a time when we had warm water only on Sundays ( in the 90s). My shoes were often too big or or too small or had holes in it.
Not once did I think we were poor. We had seen 3rd world country poverty on tv and we thought we were doing ok. It also helped that most people had the same experience. Nobody was super rich or super poor.
I think rich people don't think a whole lot what it means to be poor in America. Everything is more difficult- getting to work or more expensive-loans for poor people.

Soviet Union mentality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad worked 3 jobs- every weekend, every holiday- in factories & as a janitor in a country club in the summer- so my mom could be a SAHM with 4 kids. (1 kid was hers BEFORE they married & he adopted him). We always had food, clean clothes but no free lunches, fresh air fund camp, or financial aid for college. I worked Full-time to pay for my college- 8 years to get my BS. Similar for my DW & we had to relocate to find any kind of jobs.

We sacrificed to pay for our kids' college. Our kids did NOT qualify for any special programs, scholarships, etc. No one came to their school to advise on careers or give them any career/college insights. If we did NOT help them, they would not be able to eek out a living wage.

Sorry I have no sympathy for the child of a single mother or for poor children who get my tax dollars for special programs. As a society, we need to help average, working class & middle class children, for a change.

To the OP, as a teacher, you need to advise your students that not every white person with 2 parents are "rich". AND they have many benefits and programs not available to working & middle class people.

Another person here with a similar upbringing. I feel like as an adult I have no sympathy for all the various charitable appeals I hear for different groups because no one gave me any kind of handout. I was able to go to college but I laugh when I think back about the whole application process. I applied to one school--the state university--because that was the school I visited on a high school band trip for a music competition so I had physically been there once and seen it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg I can’t even imagine that level of cluelessness pp. I just paid of my school loans at 42. I would be so much further ahead if I didn’t have them... 114k which is really almost 200k with interest.

I didn't know people can borrow money for college too. I came from the foreign country and got a fully paid degrees (grad and post-grad). I was assuming all of the students were paying out of pocket or getting some scholarships like me.

My husband didn't know and no one took the time to show him... he joined the military.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a junio in college, my freshman sister called me and asked if I had ever heard that people take out loans for college. It was that point that I realized how privileged we were- in our private school upbringing, no one had to worry about the cost of college. I don’t think I even knew you could borrow money for a car and make payments vs buy it outright.

College was for just the wealthy and upper middle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg I can’t even imagine that level of cluelessness pp. I just paid of my school loans at 42. I would be so much further ahead if I didn’t have them... 114k which is really almost 200k with interest.

I didn't know people can borrow money for college too. I came from the foreign country and got a fully paid degrees (grad and post-grad). I was assuming all of the students were paying out of pocket or getting some scholarships like me.

My husband didn't know and no one took the time to show him... he joined the military.

I joined the military and so did most of my siblings . It was our way out of being poor. We never even thought of college until we were put in training programs with people who had gone to college, often with ROTC scholarships. We didn't even know ROTC existed. Out of our high school classes of around 200, maybe 20 went to college and most were lower level state schools. Th five of us now have at least master's degrees from very good schools that we never would have attended from high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad worked 3 jobs- every weekend, every holiday- in factories & as a janitor in a country club in the summer- so my mom could be a SAHM with 4 kids. (1 kid was hers BEFORE they married & he adopted him). We always had food, clean clothes but no free lunches, fresh air fund camp, or financial aid for college. I worked Full-time to pay for my college- 8 years to get my BS. Similar for my DW & we had to relocate to find any kind of jobs.

We sacrificed to pay for our kids' college. Our kids did NOT qualify for any special programs, scholarships, etc. No one came to their school to advise on careers or give them any career/college insights. If we did NOT help them, they would not be able to eek out a living wage.

Sorry I have no sympathy for the child of a single mother or for poor children who get my tax dollars for special programs. As a society, we need to help average, working class & middle class children, for a change.

To the OP, as a teacher, you need to advise your students that not every white person with 2 parents are "rich". AND they have many benefits and programs not available to working & middle class people.

Another person here with a similar upbringing. I feel like as an adult I have no sympathy for all the various charitable appeals I hear for different groups because no one gave me any kind of handout. I was able to go to college but I laugh when I think back about the whole application process. I applied to one school--the state university--because that was the school I visited on a high school band trip for a music competition so I had physically been there once and seen it.

So what you're saying is, it was hard for you and rather than making it easier for other people so they don't have to experience what you did, you'd rather others struggle like you did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people don't know that sometimes being poor is not about money management. My in-laws are very guilty of this. I grew up poor. They are still convinced that growing up poor = your parents were morons who didn't know how to manage money.

Rich people don't know the prices of everyday items such as grocery items, clothing from most department stores, etc. My daughter's favorite game to play when she was younger with my MIL was "Gram, how much is a jar of pickles?" and see what crazy price she'd say. My MIL was serious and not at all humoring my daughter.

Yeah, I had someone in a social work class in college say that poor people were poor because they didn't manage their investments well.

Ugh. This was my thanksgiving with my husband's working class-origin-made-money-self-righteous family that I literally cannot stand. The type to beat up
Someone when they are down. Ugh ugh ugh.