Parents of children with super high IQ scores - where are your children in school?

[Anonymous]

FWIW. I don't want to make gross generalizations. But I've noticed that in many cases, girls seem to be more conscientious than boys. At least, this is the case in our family, and in several other families I know. I wonder if the "innate" traits are due to some big ball of societal expectations of girls that they internalize, and transfer to their studies. I will probably get flamed for this.

[Anonymous]

Realizing your full potential strikes me as an impossible/daunting task (and one rife with the prospect of unproductive conflict when it's a parentally-imposed ideal). I'm more in the "enjoy the journey" camp. Process over outcome. Moving target rather than a static ideal.

As a parent, for me, that translates into helping DC to discover the things she loves, to recognize the kinds of the environments that bring out the best in her, and to find ways to make what she wants to happen happen when she finds herself in less-than-optimal situations.

[Anonymous]

9:48, I'm wondering how old your child is? I heartily agree with this philosophy. It embodies all that you read about good parenting.

Yet I wonder how you would react if your child's process of self-discovery leads to Cs, or worse? In the movie "Race to Nowhere" there is a child psychologist who laments the pressure on kids - and then he admits that even he worries constantly about whether his kid will get into a decent college.

There is a delicate balance that many of us are trying to make. This is, how to set the child's process of self-discovery against actions and outcomes that could have long-term consequences for his or her ability to pursue these very same passions in the college of his/her choice.

[Anonymous]

As a gifted adult, I can say that it's hard to be motivated when achievement doesn't actually equal effort, because minimal effort is necessary to achieve what's hard for many people. Work is not hard: I can achieve high results by doing the same easy things over and over and it gets boring fast (in this case, I'm talking about legal work). Once skills have been mastered, there's often very little challenge in simply applying them to new situations or subject matter. I've had to really look outside the norm for things that actually challenge me to learn new skills. For me, this means things that are more hands-on, because results are much harder to repeat and there are many more external factors that influence the ease of the process: cooking and gardening are two areas that offer continual challenge, oddly enough.

My point being that school is very much the same thing over and over again, and once you've mastered analytic thinking and realized that you really don't have to study much or at all to excel on the assessments, there's very little challenge in simply applying those skills over and over again in new subject areas. I kept getting good grades because I was motivated to leave my home, but my interest fell off a cliff around 11th grade because there just really wasn't that much new going on in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a gifted adult, I can say that it's hard to be motivated when achievement doesn't actually equal effort, because minimal effort is necessary to achieve what's hard for many people. Work is not hard: I can achieve high results by doing the same easy things over and over and it gets boring fast (in this case, I'm talking about legal work). Once skills have been mastered, there's often very little challenge in simply applying them to new situations or subject matter. I've had to really look outside the norm for things that actually challenge me to learn new skills. For me, this means things that are more hands-on, because results are much harder to repeat and there are many more external factors that influence the ease of the process: cooking and gardening are two areas that offer continual challenge, oddly enough.

My point being that school is very much the same thing over and over again, and once you've mastered analytic thinking and realized that you really don't have to study much or at all to excel on the assessments, there's very little challenge in simply applying those skills over and over again in new subject areas. I kept getting good grades because I was motivated to leave my home, but my interest fell off a cliff around 11th grade because there just really wasn't that much new going on in school.

8:54 here: How you described your experience makes sense. I am friends with many lawyers who practiced at top law firms in NYC, went to Yale, Harvard . . . and they are bored with their jobs but are excellent lawyers. I often wonder if they should have applied their intelligence to another field or consider being a judge, professor of law--something more dynamic. They are not passionate about the law. At a party last week, a friend told me that being a lawyer was just a job, like selling clothes! I honestly believe that gifted people need to feel passionate about what they do in order to not get bored. Furthermore, they need to be able to delve deeper into the subject matter or area of interest and consequently are forced to develop or adopt new skills. I have read some studies/bios about gifted people who have done great things and most were passionate, challenged and didn't think their work came easy. Maybe, in addition to thinking about educational opportunities for our children, we should also help them find something they feel passionate about and make could career choices (like 9:48 suggested).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:48, I'm wondering how old your child is? I heartily agree with this philosophy. It embodies all that you read about good parenting.

Yet I wonder how you would react if your child's process of self-discovery leads to Cs, or worse? In the movie "Race to Nowhere" there is a child psychologist who laments the pressure on kids - and then he admits that even he worries constantly about whether his kid will get into a decent college.

There is a delicate balance that many of us are trying to make. This is, how to set the child's process of self-discovery against actions and outcomes that could have long-term consequences for his or her ability to pursue these very same passions in the college of his/her choice.

My kid is 13. Not concerned re which college DC will go to (and never have been). Process isn't totally open-ended. In some sense, what they do and don't discover is a function of what is (and is not) strewn in their path from an early age. But DC has already had enough freedom to chart courses that have sent her to places we've never been. We are the outlier parents among the people we know -- don't know whether DC is the way she is because of that or whether we can parent the way we do because of the way she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Realizing your full potential strikes me as an impossible/daunting task (and one rife with the prospect of unproductive conflict when it's a parentally-imposed ideal). I'm more in the "enjoy the journey" camp. Process over outcome. Moving target rather than a static ideal.

As a parent, for me, that translates into helping DC to discover the things she loves, to recognize the kinds of the environments that bring out the best in her, and to find ways to make what she wants to happen happen when she finds herself in less-than-optimal situations.

Where does your child go to school? I like how you think?

[Anonymous]

She's at GDS. Has been since PreK. Prior school experiences were bad, so we were really relieved to find a good match -- and one that has endured over the long haul. Really impressed by the middle school and can't wait for HS.

[Anonymous]

Where's the best place to take the WPPSI test?

[Anonymous]

Start a new thread or check the archives. Many people have recommended the testers they used.