New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have heard from a few well-placed moms that there was an unusually high number of STA boys who will not be returning next year. Any truth to this rumor, and if so, was it the result of counselling out, financial strain, or something else?

Current Form 11/8th grade families?

There was apparently one grade that had very high numbers, it may have been Form 1 or 2. But the impression I was left with was that it was also a school-wide trend. I emphasize that I have only heard this from the gossipy moms, who have been known to blow things out of proportion.

[Anonymous]

A few posts ago a poster indicated that it was difficult for her DS because he did not go to Beauvoir and did not actively pursue sports. How hard is it for non-Beauvoir kids to fit in at STA? Our DS does not attend Beauvoir (we were waitlisted). Our DS will plan to apply to STA for 4th grade from his current non-Beauvoir school. Will it be tough for him to enter without the Beauvoir experience? Our DS is pretty outgoing, confident and likes sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few posts ago a poster indicated that it was difficult for her DS because he did not go to Beauvoir and did not actively pursue sports. How hard is it for non-Beauvoir kids to fit in at STA? Our DS does not attend Beauvoir (we were waitlisted). Our DS will plan to apply to STA for 4th grade from his current non-Beauvoir school. Will it be tough for him to enter without the Beauvoir experience? Our DS is pretty outgoing, confident and likes sports.

Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few posts ago a poster indicated that it was difficult for her DS because he did not go to Beauvoir and did not actively pursue sports. How hard is it for non-Beauvoir kids to fit in at STA? Our DS does not attend Beauvoir (we were waitlisted). Our DS will plan to apply to STA for 4th grade from his current non-Beauvoir school. Will it be tough for him to enter without the Beauvoir experience? Our DS is pretty outgoing, confident and likes sports.

Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !

No question that both the school and parents do much to make non-Beauvoir families and boys feel welcome. The potential problem is with the boys themselves. Based on my observations (I've had more than one Beauvoir son go on to STA), the non-Beauvoir boys who fit in seamlessly have 2 common threads. One, they are very sporty. Two, they know at least a handful of STA/Beauvoir boys fairly well, be it from sports teams, church, neighborhood, or country club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have heard from a few well-placed moms that there was an unusually high number of STA boys who will not be returning next year. Any truth to this rumor, and if so, was it the result of counselling out, financial strain, or something else?

Current Form 11/8th grade families?

There was apparently one grade that had very high numbers, it may have been Form 1 or 2. But the impression I was left with was that it was also a school-wide trend. I emphasize that I have only heard this from the gossipy moms, who have been known to blow things out of proportion.

It's not accurate -- still very very low attrition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few posts ago a poster indicated that it was difficult for her DS because he did not go to Beauvoir and did not actively pursue sports. How hard is it for non-Beauvoir kids to fit in at STA? Our DS does not attend Beauvoir (we were waitlisted). Our DS will plan to apply to STA for 4th grade from his current non-Beauvoir school. Will it be tough for him to enter without the Beauvoir experience? Our DS is pretty outgoing, confident and likes sports.

Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !

No question that both the school and parents do much to make non-Beauvoir families and boys feel welcome. The potential problem is with the boys themselves. Based on my observations (I've had more than one Beauvoir son go on to STA), the non-Beauvoir boys who fit in seamlessly have 2 common threads. One, they are very sporty. Two, they know at least a handful of STA/Beauvoir boys fairly well, be it from sports teams, church, neighborhood, or country club.

Little boys become friends at recess, etc., in about 2 hours. Don't worry about this.

[Anonymous]

There are at least 3 boys leaving form 1 (7th grade). None for financial or academic reasons, two for better fits at other independent schools within the area, and one on to boarding school. Another boy is rumored to be leaving as well. This is more common at 8th grade when some boys switch for high school, so it is a little odd that 3 for sure are leaving now, but not necessarily anything to get excited about.

[Anonymous]

an earlier poster said: "Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !"

as the parent of a non-Beauvoir boy who entered in C Form, I can attest to the fact that STA definitely does take a lot of measure to include non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head has a hand in choosing C Form "Form Chairs," because he wants to make sure that the one who's from Beauvoir (there are 2 Form Chairs) will make some kind of effort to be inclusive. The reason the school has to make all these efforts is this: many (but not all) Beauvoir parents would not be welcoming on their own. note that the Beauvoir mom who posted said that the lower school head "admonishes parents" to welcome non-Beauvoir families. if the Beauvoir parents were trying on their own to be inclusive, there would be no need for the STA lower head to "admonish" anyone.

the best year to enter is Form I, because there's a crowd of boys coming in, and the kids who've been there a while (especially the "lifers") welcome the new crop. of course, in the end none of this is that big a deal, because the boys, as they get older, ultimately choose their own friends, despite the best efforts of some of their mothers to direct their social group when they're young. my son loved STA -- it's a wonderful school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:an earlier poster said: "Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !"

as the parent of a non-Beauvoir boy who entered in C Form, I can attest to the fact that STA definitely does take a lot of measure to include non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head has a hand in choosing C Form "Form Chairs," because he wants to make sure that the one who's from Beauvoir (there are 2 Form Chairs) will make some kind of effort to be inclusive. The reason the school has to make all these efforts is this: many (but not all) Beauvoir parents would not be welcoming on their own. note that the Beauvoir mom who posted said that the lower school head "admonishes parents" to welcome non-Beauvoir families. if the Beauvoir parents were trying on their own to be inclusive, there would be no need for the STA lower head to "admonish" anyone.

the best year to enter is Form I, because there's a crowd of boys coming in, and the kids who've been there a while (especially the "lifers") welcome the new crop. of course, in the end none of this is that big a deal, because the boys, as they get older, ultimately choose their own friends, despite the best efforts of some of their mothers to direct their social group when they're young. my son loved STA -- it's a wonderful school.

I'm sorry PP but, as an STA mom, our experience couldn't be more different from yours for the current C Form. I'm sorry you felt that way when your son joined STA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:an earlier poster said: "Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !"

as the parent of a non-Beauvoir boy who entered in C Form, I can attest to the fact that STA definitely does take a lot of measure to include non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head has a hand in choosing C Form "Form Chairs," because he wants to make sure that the one who's from Beauvoir (there are 2 Form Chairs) will make some kind of effort to be inclusive. The reason the school has to make all these efforts is this: many (but not all) Beauvoir parents would not be welcoming on their own. note that the Beauvoir mom who posted said that the lower school head "admonishes parents" to welcome non-Beauvoir families. if the Beauvoir parents were trying on their own to be inclusive, there would be no need for the STA lower head to "admonish" anyone.

the best year to enter is Form I, because there's a crowd of boys coming in, and the kids who've been there a while (especially the "lifers") welcome the new crop. of course, in the end none of this is that big a deal, because the boys, as they get older, ultimately choose their own friends, despite the best efforts of some of their mothers to direct their social group when they're young. my son loved STA -- it's a wonderful school.

I'm sorry PP but, as an STA mom, our experience couldn't be more different from yours for the current C Form. I'm sorry you felt that way when your son joined STA.

NP. Every C Form class is different. Yes, there is a cliche of primarily Beauvoir mothers who direct their son's social group from lunch room assignments to classroom requests and, also,controlling friendships. The upper school is a total difference experience, in hindsight wish my DS had started in 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

I don't doubt that there are moms who get involved in their children's social lives through play dates, etc., but have you ever walked through the school grounds during a C Form (or B or A) recess? Total unstructured play. Crazy tag games, invented ball-off-the-wall games, hide and seek, mini-soccer -- and all the kids are part of some game or another.

[Anonymous]

How exactly does one control lunch room assignments??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't doubt that there are moms who get involved in their children's social lives through play dates, etc., but have you ever walked through the school grounds during a C Form (or B or A) recess? Total unstructured play. Crazy tag games, invented ball-off-the-wall games, hide and seek, mini-soccer -- and all the kids are part of some game or another.

Bizarre or ironic as it may sound, it was my observations at the end of the school day, seeing the unstructured play in the "Prison Yard" and elsewhere throughout the school, that I came to the conclusion that STA "got" boys, that each boy would find his own path through the social maze, and that maybe, just maybe, we weren't totally nuts to be spending 35K per year for the STA experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't doubt that there are moms who get involved in their children's social lives through play dates, etc., but have you ever walked through the school grounds during a C Form (or B or A) recess? Total unstructured play. Crazy tag games, invented ball-off-the-wall games, hide and seek, mini-soccer -- and all the kids are part of some game or another.

Bizarre or ironic as it may sound, it was my observations at the end of the school day, seeing the unstructured play in the "Prison Yard" and elsewhere throughout the school, that I came to the conclusion that STA "got" boys, that each boy would find his own path through the social maze, and that maybe, just maybe, we weren't totally nuts to be spending 35K per year for the STA experience.

I don't think it's ironic or bizarre at all. I love walking through and seeing the kids playing -- it's a very joyful, healthy sight to see. It's still not the perfect school for every boy -- the Upper School is fairly rigorous and that can be tough on kids who might struggle academically, and I think at the Upper School some boys might do better in a co-ed atmosphere -- but I do think they "get" boys for the most part and have created a nurturing place for them to grow and develop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:an earlier poster said: "Beauvoir Mom here with rising C former. So far, it seems that STA takes a lot of measures to include new non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head talks about how reaching out to non-Beauvoir families is important, and even admonishes parents to do so. Informally, there are play dates and dinner invitations that may seem casual, but are really part of an effort to welcome, encouraged by the school. Best of luck to your DC !"

as the parent of a non-Beauvoir boy who entered in C Form, I can attest to the fact that STA definitely does take a lot of measure to include non-Beauvoir families. The lower school head has a hand in choosing C Form "Form Chairs," because he wants to make sure that the one who's from Beauvoir (there are 2 Form Chairs) will make some kind of effort to be inclusive. The reason the school has to make all these efforts is this: many (but not all) Beauvoir parents would not be welcoming on their own. note that the Beauvoir mom who posted said that the lower school head "admonishes parents" to welcome non-Beauvoir families. if the Beauvoir parents were trying on their own to be inclusive, there would be no need for the STA lower head to "admonish" anyone.

the best year to enter is Form I, because there's a crowd of boys coming in, and the kids who've been there a while (especially the "lifers") welcome the new crop. of course, in the end none of this is that big a deal, because the boys, as they get older, ultimately choose their own friends, despite the best efforts of some of their mothers to direct their social group when they're young. my son loved STA -- it's a wonderful school.

I'm sorry PP but, as an STA mom, our experience couldn't be more different from yours for the current C Form. I'm sorry you felt that way when your son joined STA.

NP. Every C Form class is different. Yes, there is a cliche of primarily Beauvoir mothers who direct their son's social group from lunch room assignments to classroom requests and, also,controlling friendships. The upper school is a total difference experience, in hindsight wish my DS had started in 9th grade.

What ???? How could a mother have any control ovr table assignments at lunch. I thought that the school goes out of its way to see to it that 2 kids from each grade sit at each table. I assumed that the school was coordinating who sits where. How can both be possible?

What adult in her right mind feels she needs to be involved in this?