Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

I'm curious about families who have one child at an Ivy/T20 and the rest at other schools. How did you manage competition and comparison between your kids or pressure on them to emulate their siblings in achievement? I have younger kids but one is definitely more academically-oriented/high-achieving at this point and it's been stressful (especially between twins). Also, how does birth order play a role? I know one older sibling who goes to therapy because her younger siblings do better at school and sports than she does. I know younger siblings who are in the same math classes as their older siblings. On the other hand, successful older children might set a high bar that people expect their siblings to emulate.

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12/22/2025 09:48

Subject: Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about families who have one child at an Ivy/T20 and the rest at other schools. How did you manage competition and comparison between your kids or pressure on them to emulate their siblings in achievement? I have younger kids but one is definitely more academically-oriented/high-achieving at this point and it's been stressful (especially between twins). Also, how does birth order play a role? I know one older sibling who goes to therapy because her younger siblings do better at school and sports than she does. I know younger siblings who are in the same math classes as their older siblings. On the other hand, successful older children might set a high bar that people expect their siblings to emulate.

Oldest child is much more likely to be the high achiever or Ivy type. Psychological research bears this out.

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12/22/2025 09:49

Subject: Re:Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Parents: Columbia, Boston College, St. Francis College, Georgetown (UGs and Professional Degrees)
DC: UW Madison, Cornell, TBD

Don’t confuse things. Undergrad only.

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12/22/2025 09:50

Subject: Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about families who have one child at an Ivy/T20 and the rest at other schools. How did you manage competition and comparison between your kids or pressure on them to emulate their siblings in achievement? I have younger kids but one is definitely more academically-oriented/high-achieving at this point and it's been stressful (especially between twins). Also, how does birth order play a role? I know one older sibling who goes to therapy because her younger siblings do better at school and sports than she does. I know younger siblings who are in the same math classes as their older siblings. On the other hand, successful older children might set a high bar that people expect their siblings to emulate.

I answered and similar families caught my eye. My oldest is at an Ivy, youngest is a year apart and it has definitely been tough. As much as we try to mitigate, they feel the shadow, and its amazing how many people reinforce it in how they speak or questions they ask.

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12/22/2025 10:30

Subject: Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about families who have one child at an Ivy/T20 and the rest at other schools. How did you manage competition and comparison between your kids or pressure on them to emulate their siblings in achievement? I have younger kids but one is definitely more academically-oriented/high-achieving at this point and it's been stressful (especially between twins). Also, how does birth order play a role? I know one older sibling who goes to therapy because her younger siblings do better at school and sports than she does. I know younger siblings who are in the same math classes as their older siblings. On the other hand, successful older children might set a high bar that people expect their siblings to emulate.

It has tough moments. My older daughter is at a school ranked in the 50's while her younger sister is at a top 15 school. The thing is, she's definitely smarter than her younger sister, and knows it, and now wants everyone to know it too. She's had some mental health issues over the years and is her own worst enemy, which, in part explains why her grades and ECs were not great in HS.
What does help the situation is that DD#1 actually really loves her school and is getting a good education and may end up having the better college experience.

Basically, everyone is different and your college will not define your life.

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12/22/2025 10:58

Subject: Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about families who have one child at an Ivy/T20 and the rest at other schools. How did you manage competition and comparison between your kids or pressure on them to emulate their siblings in achievement? I have younger kids but one is definitely more academically-oriented/high-achieving at this point and it's been stressful (especially between twins). Also, how does birth order play a role? I know one older sibling who goes to therapy because her younger siblings do better at school and sports than she does. I know younger siblings who are in the same math classes as their older siblings. On the other hand, successful older children might set a high bar that people expect their siblings to emulate.

Real life example at home (parents) that career and life success are not linearly tied to where to obtain a degree.

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12/22/2025 11:00

Subject: Where did the parents and kids in a family attend college?

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Anonymous