Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up very different from me.
You know how you can tell you are at a Thanksgiving with Southern White old money?
Thanksgiving is at someone’s beach house with 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms……and the Dog show is on the big TV and they are drunk and can’t be pulled away from the dog show…

My husband’s brother and wife and boys get to stay with his parents at the beach house. Us? Nope. Husband married a girl from the hood who got 3 degrees from a top 10 school…..but I wasn’t what they approved of….not good enough. It’s sorta better now after 25 years..They warmed up to me after my daughter literally aced the SAT at 13. I guess my genetics weren’t “unfortunate” after all. Sorry. Still pissed about things said to me after marriage.

Vent over. Leaving in 18 hours……I don’t drink. Arrg.

So where do you stay and why didn't your husband say anything about staying at the 9 bedroom house?

We are in a hotel nearby. Husband will make excuses, but has gotten better about it.. If I point out things, he will snap and say it’s my fault for not something minor, like not agreeing to go to Thanksgiving 6 months in advance when I wasn’t sure if our daughter could come with us as she is in college. (Yes, these issues have caused marriage problems.)

Husband has been in therapy for years dealing with the damage from mostly his father. Husband wants to try to have a connection with his only sibling, his brother.
I have suggested he speak up about the clear favoritism of his parents and how it hurts him. Husband just says “We don’t need their money, and I don’t want it because it comes with strings.”

My brother-in-law married the typical Southern debutant. My husband’s parents are now best buds with brother-in-laws wife’s parents and they do things like take 3 month cruises together. Brother-in-law gets tons of “zero interest loans they can pay back when ever” It totals millions now. Us? Nothing.

Money always comes with strings attached. Your DH grew up in this dynamic so he's savvy to it. You, not so much. Trust DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I forgive everyone who has ever charged an admission fee to family for thanksgiving dinner. My Mac and cheese ingredients just cost $45. End rant

Is this like the $100 lasagna?
Cheese is really expensive lately, especially if you buy several different ones in a large enough quantity.

I wonder if we will hear about admission fees and resentment after the fact this year, simply because of inflated food prices!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

This sounds so insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

This sounds so insecure.

OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

You go girl!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are from a third world country and grew up without any sense of food safety. We are at their house and every single thing I've personally observed them prepping so far has some sort of food safety problem.

At this point I think I am only comfortable eating the things I am cooking myself, and not even the pie I brought, since they took it out of the fridge after I put it in and left it in the warm garage for 24 hours.

I never understand this attitude, particularly since I learned how the government regulates the amount of animal parts and feces that is allowed to be in our food. And I’ve worked in restaurants…it’s just really hard to be precious about food after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent hours making homemade rolls and they came out like crap. Then I stained my blouse with makeup as I was putting it on. Not a good morning.

My rolls were a giant fail, too. 3 rounds of dough and they just wouldn’t go. I don’t know if it’s the weather or the yeast or just bad vibes. I’m so annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Not me, but a friend just texted that her FIL threw out ALL THEIR LEFTOVERS without asking. He was “just trying to help clean up” and “there wasn’t that much of anything anyway.” She is nearly in tears because she was so looking forward to at least one plate of leftovers. The turkey survived, but none of the sides. Apparently this happened while MIL and FIL were “helping with some clean-up” while my friend and her husband were hanging out with the kids and were going to finish clean-up then start serving pies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but a friend just texted that her FIL threw out ALL THEIR LEFTOVERS without asking. He was “just trying to help clean up” and “there wasn’t that much of anything anyway.” She is nearly in tears because she was so looking forward to at least one plate of leftovers. The turkey survived, but none of the sides. Apparently this happened while MIL and FIL were “helping with some clean-up” while my friend and her husband were hanging out with the kids and were going to finish clean-up then start serving pies.

Oh brutal!

[Anonymous]

I had to leave before dinner. Thanksgiving is an all day event for our family which means we have to bring our dog. He has been sick and I just couldn’t relax for watching him. He got sick at my in laws so I brought him home. Now I’m waiting for everyone to come home so we can watch Stranger Things. Trying to reframe it for myself but right now it feels pretty depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but a friend just texted that her FIL threw out ALL THEIR LEFTOVERS without asking. He was “just trying to help clean up” and “there wasn’t that much of anything anyway.” She is nearly in tears because she was so looking forward to at least one plate of leftovers. The turkey survived, but none of the sides. Apparently this happened while MIL and FIL were “helping with some clean-up” while my friend and her husband were hanging out with the kids and were going to finish clean-up then start serving pies.

This is worthy of ejecting them from your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but a friend just texted that her FIL threw out ALL THEIR LEFTOVERS without asking. He was “just trying to help clean up” and “there wasn’t that much of anything anyway.” She is nearly in tears because she was so looking forward to at least one plate of leftovers. The turkey survived, but none of the sides. Apparently this happened while MIL and FIL were “helping with some clean-up” while my friend and her husband were hanging out with the kids and were going to finish clean-up then start serving pies.

Is she positive they did not bring their own containers and secretly stash the leftovers in their car to take home after the visit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me, but a friend just texted that her FIL threw out ALL THEIR LEFTOVERS without asking. He was “just trying to help clean up” and “there wasn’t that much of anything anyway.” She is nearly in tears because she was so looking forward to at least one plate of leftovers. The turkey survived, but none of the sides. Apparently this happened while MIL and FIL were “helping with some clean-up” while my friend and her husband were hanging out with the kids and were going to finish clean-up then start serving pies.

Is she positive they did not bring their own containers and secretly stash the leftovers in their car to take home after the visit?

Nope, that would be concerning and forgivable. Nope, they are in the trash. She saw them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an improvement this year - my MIL used to always comment on weight but this year she said "you look younger, what have you done?" and I was like "oh maybe this new moisturizer I've been using".

Readers, I lost 30lbs.

That is kind of cute, at least she is trying.