Come here if your in laws do weird crap at thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

Same here. It’s kind of bizarre for people to comment about what others are eating, but also fairly bizarre to care about what others say. Although I guess it’s possible that the whole family has some disordered eating issues going on.

It’s quite possible for a whole family to have disordered eating. My family of origin does. My in laws don’t. Eating with my family of origin will always be awkward whether it’s buffet or family style or a restaurant. My in laws are fine in all three settings.

But judging people for how they serve is disordered, whichever way.

[Anonymous]

Y’all are so bad at this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL threw out all the leftovers except turkey without asking if anyone wanted to take some home. It happened so quickly I didn't realize she was doing it until just about everything was in the trash can.

This is horrifying!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

Same here. It’s kind of bizarre for people to comment about what others are eating, but also fairly bizarre to care about what others say. Although I guess it’s possible that the whole family has some disordered eating issues going on.

It’s quite possible for a whole family to have disordered eating. My family of origin does. My in laws don’t. Eating with my family of origin will always be awkward whether it’s buffet or family style or a restaurant. My in laws are fine in all three settings.

But judging people for how they serve is disordered, whichever way.

Exactly! I don’t get these people who are horrified at a holiday meal being served family style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Appetizer of ham slices rolled around dill pickle and cream cheese.

Sounds yummy.

I know! Never heard of this but it's something I would like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

OK? Start your own thread dedicated to people with small houses who serve family style and it’s just fine. This thread isn’t for you, apparently.

Our house isn't small, but ok.

It is if you don’t have a kitchen big enough for an island.

I am a different PP and we have a large island, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL has been here since Tuesday. Tuesday night, we got a Costco rotisserie chicken for dinner. I put it out on a serving platter on the counter, as I was going to divide it out, but just as I was doing that, my daughter started crying in the other room so I went to see what was wrong (she stubbed her toe).

I come back to the kitchen to finish up what I was doing and I caught MIL ripping apart the rotisserie chicken with her bare hands, like a gd caveman.

I couldn't believe what I saw. This was dinner for four of us (DD, MIL, Me and DH) and she's in there tearing it up with her dirty hands.

I was so disgusted - I told her that chicken is hers now. Luckily we live in a condo next to a full service grocery store and I went to get another chicken.

How do you know she didn’t wash her hands first? Even with a knife, it’s hard to get all the meat off without touching it at all. You seem kinda psycho. Also rotisserie chicken is way too similar to turkey, two days apart.

All that!! ⬆️

Since OP was dealing with a crying child she was most likely really trying to help.

[Anonymous]

The family style is annoying because it dominates the conversation. Pass this, pass that. Don't the kids like green beans? We made this because we thought they'd like it. Aren't you hungry? This one eats and eats. You look like you're going to blow away. Could you pass that again?
The buffet - you line up, make your plate and eat it. Go back and get more if you want more. Talk about something more interesting at the table. And I don't even have an island, I use the induction surface as a serving area every night!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are so bad at this!

Right? I posted about the placemats and I was not expecting to win the thread because it's so dumb and trivial, but I think I may have won the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL has been here since Tuesday. Tuesday night, we got a Costco rotisserie chicken for dinner. I put it out on a serving platter on the counter, as I was going to divide it out, but just as I was doing that, my daughter started crying in the other room so I went to see what was wrong (she stubbed her toe).

I come back to the kitchen to finish up what I was doing and I caught MIL ripping apart the rotisserie chicken with her bare hands, like a gd caveman.

I couldn't believe what I saw. This was dinner for four of us (DD, MIL, Me and DH) and she's in there tearing it up with her dirty hands.

I was so disgusted - I told her that chicken is hers now. Luckily we live in a condo next to a full service grocery store and I went to get another chicken.

Exaggerating troll. You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL fusses and clucks and acts like she is the hostess. She actually does nothing and only gets in the way. No, she doesn’t want to host—when she does, she is a stressed-out nightmare. No, she doesn’t offer to bring anything. Yes, I’m sure it is that she wants attention and wants to feel important. She could at least bring a bottle of wine. Instead, she fusses around, questions everything, acts like she knows best, and is put out that we don’t stuff the bird. She doesn’t seem to grasp that no, you don’t need to put an unstuffed turkey in the oven at 7 a.m. and dry it completely out.

Can’t wait to see what your DIL says about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are just bizarrely quiet. Nothing seems to go on in their heads.
The whole Thanksgiving conversation consists of "Could you pass the X." Which is another thing in and of itself (the annoying family style serving.) And a few comments on what the kids aren't eating.
We tried bringing up the kids' report cards, our upcoming travel, their travel last month, weddings in their family...all go over like lead balloons. Also my father is in the hospital but they didn't feel the need to ask about him.
Depressing that I married into this family.

I will trade you. Oh my goodness, the noise, noise, noise, noise. They don’t know how to spend even a minute in companionable silence. Sitting in a circle and forced chatting. I just go upstairs when I can’t handle it. Nonstop chatter, intrusive questions, droning on endlessly about people NO ONE ELSE IN THE ROOM has ever met.

You've just described my mother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are so bad at this!

Right? I posted about the placemats and I was not expecting to win the thread because it's so dumb and trivial, but I think I may have won the thread.

The placemats and the easy appetizer of goose liver pate and pickled herring for elementary aged kids are my winners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are so bad at this!

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Appetizer of ham slices rolled around dill pickle and cream cheese.

The place I worked at for several years would have pot lucks in the conference room a couple times a year. Those were almost always on a platter somewhere around the conference room table. Maybe it was the same one person bringing it every time, I don't know. I am pretty used to seeing those, so to me this sounds pretty normal.