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Anyone have a 3rd and regret it?
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Anonymous
| We are on the fence regarding having a third. I was wondering how much harder is it really and honestly anyone who was on the fence and did it, do you ever regret it? |
Anonymous
| Pregant with 3rd now. Curious what responses will be. Some days I wonder "what were we thinking?!?". |
Anonymous
| I have some regrets over our 2nd. However, the reality is that no one regrets love. So, you can have a third as we had our second and then have your lives turned upside down. Do you wish that your life was simpler again? YES. Do you wish you felt closer to your spouse as you did before? YES. Do you wish your financial situation was more secure? YES. However - do you regret the love you have for that beautiful child you brought into this world? NO. So - the question of "regret" is a tough one. I think you need to look at it a different way. You need to ask yourselves whether you can handle it and whether it is worth the trade-offs. |
cuzimawesome
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Not regret. It's just harder. You need to be willing to be outnumbered. Two wasn't that bad, it was adding #3 that was the challenge. My first two have very different personalities from each other, therefore they have VERY different needs. Add on an infant, and I'm being pulled in every direction. Luckily I have an amazing husband. When he comes home from work, he dives right into being a dad.
The cool thing about #3 is that I'm way more relaxed. I'm more confident in my parenting abilities and it's not as nerve wracking as dealing with the first two. I'm truly, truly enjoying my LOs babyness this time... because I'm more relaxed. But yeah... it IS harder. And there are some nights when I want to pull my hair out and scream. But overall, no regrets! Just be prepared to have a fuller life. Good luck with whatever decision you make! |
Anonymous
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Hi. Spoiler alert... this is going to be really corny.
I am the third daughter of 3. I am 8 and 7 years younger than my two older sibs. My mom was living in Turkey with my Dad and suddenly got the urge to have a 3rd, after 7 years. Kind of weird. Anyways, here I am. My oldest sister is childless, jobless and basically homeless, and aged 52, so no grandchildren there. The middle sister is professionally successful, an unmarried lesbian and with no desire to artificially impregnate herself or adopt someone else's kid. I'm the only daughter who had a child. Long story short... my mother would never have gotten to be a grandmother if she had not had me, if she had not decided she was "done" after the first 2, close together, neat births. Go with what your heart tells you. And if you don't, that's fine too. (Hope that wasn't too disgustingly corny for all you snarky DC folks!) |
Anonymous
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I guess sometimes you need more than a heir and a spare!
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Anonymous
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Down the road, I personally think the odds of you regretting having a third are tiny compared to the odds of you regretting not having a third.
(We have an almost ten month old - it was my third pregnancy (fourth child) and we have absolutely hands down no regrets. It does help that he is a perfect angel and his older siblings just adore him!) |
Anonymous
Sadly, I have personally know 3 families who lost one of their 2 children at young ages (1 to pediatric cancer (a twin) and 2 to young adult suicide). I would soooo hate to leave either of my children alone after we're gone. I know..cousins, friends, etc....but its not the same. Its one big reason I had 3. Also know 2 families who had similar situations: the oldest married and divorced multiple times and finally met someone...who was raising teens and wasn't going back. 2nd child became mentally ill in her 20s (schizophrenic) so no kids there...3 child was totally normal and has 3 lovely kids. |
Anonymous
| I don't think anyone is honest enough with themselves to be able to say they regret having a 3rd even on an anonymous forum. I have only one so I can't weigh in. |
Anonymous
THIS!! I figured I would much more likely regret NOT having a third or at least be plagued with doubt. I had my third and now feel my family is perfect. |
Anonymous
| I wonder this.....currently pregnant with #2....its rough, b/c I have been so sick for 3 months....I wonder "What are we doing?" |
Anonymous
| Best decision ever! We are so in love with #3 we are considering a fourth! |
Anonymous
Great post. I had a very difficult time getting pregnant with #2 and there won't be any more children for me. Exactly how many "spares" does one need anyway? |
Anonymous
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It sounds so wonderful, having another, but the reality is that we're already stretched quite thin with two boisterous sweet boys. Both work full-time and no help and so the amount of time and energy we have is at its limit with two. We hardly ever spend time alone unfortunately but I love having my two, it's great. I just cannot imagine starting over and having another child to wrangle with at bedtime, activities, laundry, homework etc. etc!
Depends on your energy level.....& age too perhaps. |
Anonymous
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I am disturbed by the "spare" issue raised by 2 posters.
That is really not why I would want to have children. A child is not replaceable. |