Dating a guy shorter than me...

[Anonymous]

I really hit it off with a blind date a friend arranged for us. He's about 1-2 inches shorter than me, which is normally a deal-breaker for me b/c I always dated tall guys. But I'm so glad we took it slow because he's really blindsided me with how much I really like who he is, how smart he is, how funny he is - - I'm knocked off balance because I didn't see it coming.

I'm still learning to deal with some awkwardness and I don't know if it's a complete dolt thing to discuss out right - - things like, does he mind if I wear boots with heels or heels with a skirt, and become 5 inches taller than him? Does it freak him out that I'm tall? If he's still interested, he's okay with it, right? We recently had the chance to fool around a bit and it was then I noticed without shoes, he's probably closer to 2" shorter than me, not my height like I'd thought. I've only dated a short guy once before and he was 5'9 or two inches taller than me. It bugged him when I wore 3" heels, and I ADORE wearing them. If I did that now, I'd be 5'10 to his 5'5. Any shorter men care to share how that would make you feel? Would you tell her it bugged you if it did?

How do I talk casually about something if I don't know how he views it? It may be that it's a sore spot or it may be no big deal to discuss. It's new to me, so I'm still trying to figure out what I could get away with heels wise, and maybe I'd feel awkward towering over him. (But maybe he'd secretly LOVE to be out with a tall blonde 5" taller than him!! )

[Anonymous]

He's not going to love it ... he's always going to be a little insecure. Six month from now you'll hear that comment "why can't you just be a couple inches shorter". AND from now on, his height will always be a consideration when you put on any shoes and pose for any photos. If you can live with that... go for it!

[Anonymous]

I am 6'0" so this was a common issue for me during my single life. Most guys are uncomfortable with "taller" women. Even my DH, who is 6'1", gets defensive when I tell him that his height is "average" or point out that I am taller than him in heals

[Anonymous]

I think you should focus on the relationship and not on the height. The less of a big deal it is to you, the less it will be to him and then it wont matter if you're wearing stilettos or ballet flats.

on a not totally unrelated topic, I am a shorty (5'3") so most men I dated have been taller than me by anywhere from 6 to 13 inches. But I did date one guy who was about 5'5"--maybe coincidence, but the sex was awesome. Something about being nearly the same size (luckily I did not outweigh him, he was fit and fairly muscular). I also dated a guy who was 6'4" and basically it was ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

My husband is about an inch shorter than me (I'm 5'8"). I think occassionally he has a slight complex about being shorter than the average guy in general, but my height in comparison to his has never been an issue for him. I sometimes feel a bit odd wearing heels around him, but then, I don't really love wearing heels - they hurt my feet - so that's a rare issue. We've been married nearly 15 years.

If you feel the need to discuss it with him, I'd go ahead and do it - just be open about both of your thoughts. If it was a major hang up or turn off for him, he probably wouldn't have gone on a second date with you. I think that making connections with someone emotionally is a hard thing to find - and if a 1-2 inch height difference is your only misgiving - good for you! Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

In my mother's generation, it was important that a man be taller than a woman. At 5'7" she was tall for her generation of woman, so she married a horrible man who was 6'1". She was the source of an inferiority complex I had about my 5'11" height through my teenage years. I'm not sure if it was in reaction to this, but my husband is 5'7" and the most wonderful husband and father in the world (IMO).

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is maybe an inch or less shorter than I am. I honestly don't notice it until he says something. In the begining I wondered if it bothered him if I wore high heels or something, but he would always encourage it.. So, I think that if you really love your bf, small stuff like that wont bug you in the long run (No pun intended)

[Anonymous]

Maybe he only usually dates women two years younger or four inches shorter than you. Deal!

[Anonymous]

I'm 5' 6" and my wife is 5' 8" so I have experience with this topic. First, he knows he's short and that you are taller than he is, so it clearly is not a problem for him. I never had an issue dating taller women and never understood why some guys would. My thought was always, I'm dating a tall sexy, funny and smart woman, what's not to love? Second, on the issue of high heels. If wearing high heels makes you feel confident, beautiful and sexy, why would he object? Sounds like it's a winning situation for him. Third, he clearly doesn't have a short guy complex or you would have notice the height difference before you were in bare feet. If a short guy doesn't ave a short guy complex people tend to think he is an inch or two taller than he is. In my experience the woman is more concerned about height than the guy is. Once in college, I was trying to pick-up a girl in a bar who was taller than me by a good three inches. I was making progress but I could tell something was holding her back. We finally got to the point where she just said the issue was our height difference. I told her no problem, because height wouldn't matter once we were laying down. Deal closed and we dated for three months.

Bottom line, if you want to know if he cares if you wear heels that make you feel sexy, just ask him.

[Anonymous]

My brother in law is married to a woman several inches taller than he is and they are one of the happiest couples I know. They just openly acknowledge it and joke a little about it, and it is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Our closest friends have a 5 inch difference between them (she's taller) and she regularly wears high heels and is otherwise herself. I asked her once how they dealt with the height thing when they first started dating, and she responded that it was always a non-issue, because "he doesn't think of himself as short!" I thought that was a great response, and really true in this instance. Like 18:28 says, if the guy doesn't have an issue with it, don't make it into one.

[Anonymous]

I am 5'11 and dont care about the guy's height as long as he doesn't have a thick neck, a pencil dick or a shitty personality with no sense of humor!

[Anonymous]

So many other issues to worry about. Sounds like you found a good one. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

I am about 2" taller than my husband and I seriously only wear heels. He LOVES it. I think he is proud and happy to go places with his tall wife - he's like "hey, look at my girl! Yeah, I've got it going on!"

[Anonymous]

I don't know, i know some really confident short guys who tend to pursue taller women and have absolutely no issues doing so. A couple of my girlfriends are married to shorter guys and all parties seem happy.

I'm 5'8" and I've dated shorter guys. I don't love it or seek it out, but I've found that it helps a lot if the guy is well-built and on the bigger side - I mean that he definitely outweighs me. I couldn't date a guy I outweighed; that would be weirder for me. (I'm 140 lbs.)

You could always casually throw the heels thing out there by saying something like "I really want to wear my 3" heels with this dress; do you care if you're out with giant amazon girl tomorrow night?" He probably won't care. let's face it, he already knows you're tall.